Bedtime Rituals

I read to mine every single night until they were about 8 and 9, then they rplaced me with Nintendo to play till bedtime--- much to my dismay.

Anyway, after the last story was read, I just tucked them and left the room, no need to lay there and wait for them to go to sleep unless you feel like it.

1) you can start the bedtime routine earlier... so that it does not take 1 hour or by the time their actual bedtime is... it does not get later and late.

2) My kids and I, enjoy the time before bed... when we talk and chat in the dark. It is a bonding time. They and I really love it. And it calms them down and it is a time where they tell me their thoughts/feelings and whatever happened that day. Or whatever may be bothering them.
So I find this time, invaluable. And needed for my children, and me. My Husband as well, will do this with them. So that in itself, is nice.

3) Sure, I may sit or lay by them. But again, this time is a bonding time and where me and my kids chat about all kinds of things and whatever questions they have. It is a neutral, time to talk about anything.

4) My kids are 5 and 9. We read books too before bed. Or they read to me. So again, I find this time, fruitful and nice and beneficial for them and me.

5) I don't lay or sit by them in ORDER to get them to bed. It is an activity we do, BEFORE bed. Not in order to get them to bed or to sleep.
So there is a difference.
My kids fall asleep on their own.
But BEFORE bedtime, we do these things.

6) I get my kids, into their bedtime routine, 1 hour, BEFORE their actual bedtime. SO that, we don't have to "rush" and so that, they still go to sleep at their regular time. Not at a beleaguered time.

7) you explain to your kids.... about the routine. And when the routine is over, Mommy leaves and they go to bed.
I am sure they can fall asleep on their own, at these ages.

When DD was 2ish, we firmed things up a bit. It's bath, books, prayers, bed. She can have a light on til we go to sleep, but only if she's quiet and stays in her bed. If she cried, I comforted her and then left after a couple of minutes.

For a bit in the beginning, I sat in her doorway but did not lay or sit WITH her. Since your kids are older, what about leaving the door open for a set amount of time? Explain to each of them that this is the new routine. You might even take them to Build A Bear or just the toy store to pick out a new lovie instead of you.

I agree to start winding them down earlier than you think you need to (we start the bath routine about an hour before she goes to bed).

The other part of it is that if this is what you want, you need to hold firm. Loving, but firm. If DD gets up, I take care of what she needs and put her back to bed. Now my DD will pretty much stay in bed unless she really needs something (she's just a bit younger than your youngest). I'll check on her and if she says she can't sleep, she can look at a book til I turn the lights out. No battles for a long time, and I didn't have to resort to anything I felt mean or unnecessary.

After the story, turn off the light, give them a hug and kiss goodnight, sprinkle fairy dust on their foreheads to make them have good dreams (yes, you do have some - check in your pocket, all mommies keep fairy dust in there! ;). Then leave the room! They are old enough now where they should be able to handle it just fine. Maybe tell them one night in advance that this change is coming, because they're big girls now, and then do it. They could even have their favorite stuffed animal there to snuggle with them and keep them from being lonely.

Are they in separate rooms?
I suggest you and older daughter sit in the younger child's room and daughter read to 4 year old while you listen. Then kisses and good night.

Turn on some soft music or a book on tape. Make sure the room is prepped with cool air or a fan, low lights only to be able to read. This way it is prepped for her to fall asleep.

Remember, read slowly and quietly. This is not the time to engage them in conversation or about the book. You are trying to lull them to sleep, not keep them engaged.

Then you and older daughter go to her rom an you sit in a chair and read to her, then kisses.

I or my husband used to do this in very dim light witha book light.
used to do

I think this is the best time of the day. This is the time of day we found out that one of my friends kids were playing sex games outside. It is a relaxed time where talking is encouraged. If you have other demands on you where you really need to cut this out then I suggest you start just sitting at the door for a while. When I was teaching my granddaughter to go to bed by herself I would set up a TV tray and sit in a chair in the doorway. I would discourage random talking and use the bathroom light to do puzzles or read a book. This let her know I was there but still sort of separate. This took a couple of weeks and then she was able to go lay down on her own and go to sleep.

At 8 and 5 there is no way my grand kids would lay down in the same room and go to sleep though. I would still have to be in there. That's just too much temptation for them to get up and play.

I have the same routine for my 5.5 and 3.5 year olds. Until it broke, I used the old music box from their crib and lay down while it played once through with each of them. Now I just lay down for about 5 minutes each, tell them goodnight and leave. The younger one sometimes gets up and asks for either me or dad to lay down with him, but I usually just put him back in the bed and tell him goodnight again without laying down. You'll just have to stop and let them get used to it.

Just stop doing it. My kids are 8 and 5, so very close to your kids' age, and they are PLENTY old enough to go to sleep on their own. Just tell them "You are old enough to go to sleep by yourself, Mommy needs time to herself, so I will read you a story, give you a hug & kiss, and then you will go to sleep on your own." My kids wouldn't have the option not to respect what I've required of them.

Why don't you put them in the same bed so they can help each other go to sleep? This is how it was done in the old days. Remember Mary and Laura Ingalls?

i have a 4 and half year old and 3 year old. I make sure no naps during day at all. I fill there bellies, give them warm milk sometimes... then bath... then read stories with lights off.. i have a reading lamp.. they fall right to sleep. I don't lay with them i use to but, i have to stick to this or else they get second wind i am screwed.. Good luck :) Stay positive

We started headed down that path a few months ago with our now 4 year old daughter. Knowing that we didn't want to get to the place you are in (my cousin found herself in the same place) we have just cut down the time we lay with her. She gets her 2 stories, and then we set the timer, was 10 minutes at first now its 7, and she knows when it goes off, we leave, simple as that. It has worked wonders for her:) Hoping to wean her off a timer at some point, but I won't mind setting it for a few minutes if that's what it takes, certainly easier than laying there indefinetly, :)
Good luck!!