Bedtime Ideas

My oldest son is almost nine, and he goes to sleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. Darn him ;)

My daughter will be six next week, and she's a completely different story. Her bedtime used to be nine (she had afternoon pre-k and kindergarten). She would lie awake until around midnight, singing quietly to herself, getting up to go to the bathroom, tossing around, kicking the wall, playing with the cat, etc. This year, she has been so tired that she could barely do her work at school. I moved her bedtime earlier, to 7 pm, and now, when she goes down, she drops to sleep within about 20 minutes. I had a few little problems trying to get her father to comply (we're divorced, and I'm remarried), so, when she comes home on Tuesday night, it can take a bit more time for her to fall asleep.

The key for her seems to be consistency and getting her in bed before she's over-tired. Even if things are chaotic around here in the minutes before bed, as long as she's IN BED by about 15 minutes of bedtime, she drops off pretty quickly. I don't know if that helps you any, but good luck! Bedtime is one of the most frustrating parts of parenting, IMO!

Good luck!

Hello S.,

I have five children, 2, 6, 7, 9, and 10. The routine I have found that works for us is: homework between 4-5pm, dinner by 6, showers/baths by 7:30, no snacks or juice/sweets after 7, and reading/story time at 8:30, laying down by 9, which if followed in a routine eventually gets them to relax at that time and sleep better. I know several moms who put their children to bed sooner, it has just never worked for us.

Hi S.....i know how busy lifestyles are these days. if you can't start until 7:30pm it's really hard to get all of the things done that you need to do before 10pm, and the homework, etc will grow bigger as she gets older. my kids were in bed at 8-8:30pm when they were that age. my husband and i both worked fulltime but when we picked the kids up, we went home, they did homework while we fixed dinner and then we settled in for the night. i think the issue for your daughter tossing and turning is that she doens't have the time to unwind before bedtime. if you can figure out how to stop the activity earlier i think you will see her settle in better....good luck...R.

Hi S.,
One thing you can do to help her get to sleep is to just lie down with her for a while and talk and read. I know after a long day at work, you might not feel much like this, but even for 30 minutes,I bet it would help. Spending time with her, reading to her, allows her a chance to just enjoy some "down time" and being with her mama. It helps build a good relationship and gives her a chance to ask questions about the books you are reading, and eventually will allow the two of you to share books that maybe she never would have read on her own, as she gets a little older. I did this with my kids from the time they were little. They are 3 years apart, but even up until the time they were in MIDDLE SCHOOL, they looked forward to us being able to just be together and talk and read every night, and it seemed to settle them down, give them good thoughts just before bedtime, and give them something to think about! We read everything from the Chronicles of Narnia to To Kill a Mockingbird. It built their vocabularies and being able to explain difficult passages to them kept their interest up in the books, and allowed them to read things that they might never have read otherwise. Sometimes we'd take turns reading a page, then talk about it if we needed to, or I'd just read if they didn't want to or were just in the mood to listen.it also gives them a chance to just talk about things that are on their minds. Kids always seem to want to open up and talk more at bedtime. Mine are 18 and 21 now, and I'm so glad that I did that, even when I was super tired, because it meant so much to them at the time, and now, it means so much to ME. I hope this helps.
C. P.

THE # OF HOURS EVERYONE NEEDS CAN VARY FROM PERSON TO PERSON.
Maybe changing things around a little might help.
Home from school, play time outside or a favorite tv program.
Family dinner time, bath and reading her a short story while she eats an apple or banana or has a cup of warm milk.
While this can be changed around
the time to go to bed should be the same. Try 9pm.
I have 2 grandsons 10 & 12. the 10 yr. old goes to sleep about 8 or 9 and the 12 yr. old can't go to sleep before 11.
Experiment bu time is to be consistant,

Hi S.,
I know exactly how you feel about bedtime for young kids. My daughter is 8 now and has had the same schedule pretty much all her life. I work from 7-3 and am home by 3:30 for the night. I have a bit of an advantage since I have a pretty good amount of time to get my things finished before dinner time but I didn't always get off this early. Sarah has had the same afternoon schedule for quite some time now, which is also a benefit! Once we get home we immediatley clean the house. Each room is done and homework starts directly afterwards. She usually does her work at the table while I prepare dinner. Once we eat she baths and begins to wind down. We are usually hanging out by the time you are getting dinner and bath together for you guys. I know how hard it is when you work alllll day long and come home and have a whole 8 hour job waiting for you as you walk in the door.

When I was working those hours and feeling like there was never time for anything I felt very overwhelmed by the time she would actually go to bed. Sarah's biggest thing was hearing things in the other room. She is very nosey and wants to be involved in everything. I started giving her a bath with relaxing bath soap and would allow her to soak for a good 20 to 30 minutes. She loves to soak in the bath. About 30 minutes before bed I would make her get everything picked up and ready for the next day. About 10 minutes to lights out I would go in her room and make her lie down while I read her a book. The lights had to be dim and I would read very quietly so she really tried to listen to the story. Once we would finish I would let her listen to lullabies quietly so she couldn't hear from the other house noise. Once she got used to it she didn't really have a problem anymore. I don't have to read to her at all anymore becuase she does that herself but it was a great way for us to have one on one time with each other, as well as her learning to sit quietly and concentrate. That really helped her get ready for school as well.

Anyway, I hope you have better luck. I can't think of much more to tell you because time is a problem for us all. It is very hard to make sure everything is done in a timely manner so they get plenty of sleep. Patience is a must that's for sure. I used to have to tell Sarah 10 times to get back in bed. I finally had to stop her by holding the door shut so she couldn't get out. She would get pretty mad because she likes the door cracked. Eventually she stopped so I wouldn't SHUT the door.

S.,
My son is only 10 and his bed time is 830. He doesn't always go right to sleep, but at least he is "resting" and with in 30 minutes, most times sooner, he is asleep. What time does she get up in the morning? What time does she eat dinner at night? What kind of a snack does she get? Does she get wound up? What is in her room that would keep her attention? These things can effect her before bed.

Sometimes its the noises out side. My son is allowed to have his radio on low when he goes to sleep. Takes from the animals, people, and cars that may go by.

Other than this, I really don't know what to tell you.

What time does she wake in the morning? Maybe you could wake her 15 or 30 minutes earlier in the morning and hopefully she will be sleepy earlier at night. My 2 older kids have a bedtime of 9. They are 7 and 11. They know that no matter what is going on, at 9 o'clock they are in the bed with no lights and no tv. They usually fall asleep soon after and they get up at 6:30 in the morning to get ready for school. I hope that you find something that works for your daughter. Good Luck!

How early she gets up for school determines how early she should go to bed, but for most children her age, that's about 8:00. I'm not sure what's happening in your lives that keeps you "non-stop on the go," but you need to rework your schedule if you want her in bed at a decent time. My children are a few years older than yours, but by 7:00 - 7:30, we are ready for bed (done with showers, tooth brushing, and in pajamas). We then read together for 30 - 60 minutes, and they go to bed. I tuck them in, read a devotional & pray with them, then they listen to a book on tape or music while falling asleep. They are in bed by about 8:00 with lights out by about 8:30.
If you move her bedtime earlier, it may take a while until she adjusts to falling asleep earlier, so stick with it & don't give up if she tosses and turns for a while. Putting her in bed earlier once in a while isn't enough for her to adjust to an earlier bedtime.
It would probably help if you got homework done before supper.

Hello I read your story, and for that age I think 8:00 p.m. is a good bed time. that is what time I put my son to bed. and about the sleeping, do you give your child caffine at night to sleep? If so, you might want to stop it, it could be that, but, I can not think of anything else right now, but if I do, I will let you know,

sincerly, L.

She might be eating too late. If you are putting her to bed at 9 but feeding her at 7:30 that's only an hour and a half for her body to settle down. Your body needs time to digest food which is about 30 minutes I believe, but it also needs time for your metabolism to settle down. You might try giving her a snack earlier or not having a snack in the evening. I know when I eat before I go to bed I have trouble falling asleep, I have heard somewhere that you should allow 3 hours between eating and going to bed. She might complain that she's hungry for the first couple of days, but she'll get past it. If you give her some water it would help to curb the hunger she would feel until she gets past wanting a nighttime snack.

It sounds like she is getting too much stimulation in the evening hours. I wouldn't give her a snack before bedtime; ideally, she shouldn't eat anything after 7 pm.

Can you get her to do her homework as soon as she gets home from school? I find that, with my two kids, they do well with getting a snack as soon as they get home from school, and then immediately after their snack, they know they have to do their homework before anything else. I sit there and answer any questions they have about their homework, and make sure it gets done. It goes much quicker if you are sitting there with them than if you left them to their own devices...not that I do the work for them, but that I am there to make sure they aren't goofing off and I can help as needed with anything complicated.

Also, that frees up some evening time, so that they can RELAX. Yes, even 7 year olds can be stressed out and need relaxation.

Try some lavender-scented bath wash or lotion on her. Lavender is a naturally relaxing scent, and will help to get her in the mood for sleeping.

Make sure that she takes her bath or shower no later than 7 pm, and then plan on reading from 7:30 to 8:00 or whatever, and then lights out, time for sleep. No exceptions, and no changes in routine once you get started on a set time.

When my daughter was a baby, I made up a song for her. I now sing it to both of my children every single night after we read. It is their signal that it is time to sleep now. I simply change the words to adjust to one being a girl and one being a boy, and they are both happy with it. In fact, if I have to go out of town and leave them home with my husband, I have to call them and sing them that each night! I once had to sing it while walking through an airport...got some funny looks, because it is a really silly song, but it was more important for me to give them their song than to care about what strangers thought of me. <grin>

Good luck with whatever you do. There are always going to be some nights where it's hard for her to get to sleep, regardless of what you do, but the main thing is to absolutely stick with a routine and try not to deviate from it at all.

My son is 8 years old and we send him and his 5 yr old brother to bed at 8-8:15pm with privileges of reading in bed until 8:30. They sleep 10 hours usually. My pediatrician said 10 hours was really good for them. Would a book help her? I have heard that TV is too stimulating before bed but I know some parents who say they use TV to get their kids to relax enough to fall asleep. Good luck.

S., I know just how it is! I always had a hard time going to sleep when I was little, and my oldest son (who is autistic) had the same problem! In fact, he would stay awake for days at a time. He would just toss and turn. We tried everything, to no avail. Then one night while at an autism support group meeting, I overheard some parents discussing melatonin. We talked, I researched, and I tried it. HOLY COW! I honest to God could not believe the difference it made! Now, for many kids, they can take it and be out in 15 minutes. That's how it is for my youngest son who often experiences insomnia. But for Max, it takes anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour, and I try to make sure that he doesn't get too involved in anything before bed (like games, playing hard, anything like that). It has just made all the difference in the world. We get ours at GNC. They have a cherry flavored sublingual pill, 1 mg I think (the lowest dose whatever it is) and it's only about $6 or $7 a bottle, and it lasts us several months.

Anyway, give it a shot. It made a huge difference in our lives.

Hi Sherri!
I would suggest to get her off sugar if she isn't already. My beliefs are that kids now days are getting too much sugar and caffine. So good luck.

Buy melatonin. It is all natural, I crush it and put it in her night milk about 30 minutes before I want her to go to sleep. We use 3mg and my daughter is 6 and weighs about 45 lbs. It is a miracle!

I don't know the full story, but from what I read I would think that you need to cut down on her activities. I'm not sure if you can respond to me or not, but ask yourself these questions....why are you giving her a snack at 7:30? She is old enough that eating dinner should be good enough to get her through the night. At that age, from what I have been told, 8 to 10 hours of sleep is what they need. If you are having too many activities it could be causing her body to be overacting at night which is why she's having a rough time falling asleep. Same with the reading. You might try reading before bathtime so maybe her mind won't be so active when it is time to go to sleep. Maybe even take bathtime to morning. I had to do that with my 3 year old (now 4). If I gave her a bath at night before bed, we were up forever!! Even if I didn't let her play, it was almost like water was an energy drink for her!

I hope this helps! Good luck!!

I have a 4yr. old girl, a 14 month old boy, and a 3 month old baby girl that I am raising. I have always had the FIRM belief that kids need to be "settling" down by 7-8pm so they can go to sleep by 8:30 - 9pm. Then I found the real world. Every person has their own rythm. Our 4yr. old does T-Ball, dance, and gymnastics. She goes to Head Start (gets up at 6:45am and is very hard to wake up), and is "doing" something nearly every day of the week.

I have a dear, very smart, friend who puts her 4yr. old and 7 yr. old to bed at 10pm. They go to bed every night and go to sleep within 15-20 minutes and sleep until 7:30am, that's nine hours of sleep without a fight, raised voice, or complications. They wake up easily and well rested. It shocked me so much when I first found out what time they went to bed but I have come to see the benefits. Our girl gets to have a rootbeer or candy maybe once a week, so she doesn't get too much caffeine or sugar, she is active so she gets plenty of exercise. If she is put to bed at 8:30 she gets her quite time with me or my husband, reading time, story time, one on one time but within minutes she will be bouncing on the bed, getting toys out, throwing a huge temper tantrum waking the little ones up, it's a never ending battle that can last until 1-2am, yes AM. So, we have learned that sometimes you have to bend, even when you have had these ideals for years.

So, now, she gets Jammie's on around 8pm. We are still working on learning what works for her.

Sherri I am a mother of 4 three of which are girls. My son would always go to bed and to sleep right away but my girls would not seem to go to sleep no matter what. I found that letting them stay up till 9 or so and watch a little tv with me and then music in their room when they did go to bed seem to help tremendously. It also didn't seem to adversly affect their school work. So it might be worth a try it can't hurt and i also found that if I choose my battles and not let them we got along much better. Single Mom in Okla.

My girls just turned 8 and 10 and I put my 8 year old to bed at 8:00 or 8:30. Sometimes it's 8:45 or 9:00 before she goes, depending on if she's extremely tired or not. Some days she plays so hard she's in bed by 7:30. I just bumped her up 30 minutes to an hour longer because she turned a year older though. With the problem of her not being able to go to sleep early, you can try giving her some melatonin at night. The body produces melatonin naturally so it won't hurt her. My best friend is my Pediatricians CMA and she recommended it. She also gives it to her boys when they fight sleep at night. They just turned 3 and 4. You can check with the pharmacist on the proper dosage. It comes in pill form and liquid. You can also go to Walgreens where they have specials on certain brands and you can get two bottles for the price of one! Don't be alarmed if she appears to be extremely groggy at first though, because until her body gets used to taking it, it will affect her as if you gave her tylenol pm. She needs proper rest at night so she can perform better the next day during school. Getting an adequate amount of rest is just as important as eating a hearty/healthy breakfast each morning. It's extremely hard to focus and retain information if we're sleepy or hungry. About the time management thing, have you tried giving her a bath in the a.m.'s instead of at night, or having her do her reading on the drive home? Hope that helps. I'm a full time student and single parent of 2 girls, one with A.D.H.D. and the other with Type 1 diabetes, so I know all about managing my time wisely lol!
Donna

Hello,

i too had that problem with my son, and my moma told me to give him a hot bath and after that to lay down with him and read him a story. It really does work, he would go right to sleep and then i could get up and do my chores. He is 11 yrs old now and i still have to lay down with him sometimes but he is my only one, so i don't really mind, i am treasuring every moment, he will be grown and gone before you know it. I hope this helps you and god bless you.