I have an 8 year old 3rd grader who baby talks all the time when she is home. She doesn't do it at school because kids will make fun. Is this an issue I should be concerned about and try to discourage or do I just ignore it until she grows out of it? Any ideas?
Thank you all for your advise and responses to our issue. I have decided to do what you said and remind her to speak in an 8 year old voice when she is speaking. When she chooses to use baby talk I just say, "what was that?" or "what did you say?" and she automatically knows that I want her to drop the baby talk and act her age. Hopefully, if we are consistently telling her not to behave that way, she will get over this phase. Thank you again for your help!
I agree with everyone else so far on this one. She's getting power with it - so don't let her. Ignore it or say things like, "Do you hear something? I don't know baby talk." She'll get sick of it not working and will give up on it in time. :-) Just be consistent.
M.,
She is probably baby talking at home because she can get away with it. My kids are younger, but the theory should be the same.
If my 5 year old starts baby talking we tell him that we don't understand him and that he needs to talk like a big boy. Then, we ignore him until he does, just repeating that we don't understand him.
Same thing for my 2 year old if she tries to whine at us. We just don't hear/don't understand her until she uses a normal voice.
Hope this helps,
Melissa
My nine year old 4th grader does it to and only at home. I don't make a big deal of it but I do tell him to stop talking like a baby unless you want to be treated like one. it works.
You have received a good deal of great advice. As many of the moms below said, and as I have read so many times in different child rearing books, do not create an environment that promotes or supports baby talk. Tell her you would like to listen to her/speak to her, but she needs to ask you/speak to you using proper words and sentences. No baby talk. Model proper language use. State your expectations clearly and then maintain consistency. Do not respond to it and do not give her further attention when she does it (e.g., time outs, etc. are all still attention even though negative). Praise her when she speaks clearly. Let her overhear you telling your spouse how proud you were when she said xxxx (pick a non-baby talk incident). Read her books and highlight when a character says something using big words, or properly, etc.
She got your attention. Being a baby was a safer, more attentive time for her. Spend the time asking how her day is. Let her know that she'll always be your little girl, but that doesn't mean she can't grow up and do big girl things. She just wants to be close and be noticed. Reward the changes in her language and when she reverts to the baby talk, let her know that she needs to talk like a 3rd grader so you can understand what she's saying. Check yourself to make sure that you are paying attention when she tries to talk with you. If you've been too busy to listen in the past, this may be her way of breaking through your sound barrier. Just thoughts.
How lucky you are that she doesn't do it at school! I would tell her that you won't talk to a baby who's 8 years old. She can talk like an 8 year old if she has something she wants to say. Seriously, if she wants to get her point across talking like a baby isn't an appropriate way to do that.
My son had a friend that started baby talking in 4th grade. He did it all the time, everywhere! My son began to do it as well as his friends. I told him that if he was going to talk like a baby he'd be treated like one. "Go take a nap" I told him one day. The next day I wouldn't let him watch anything other than OPB, and Teletubbies. His baby talk stopped really quick. His friend, I believe needed counseling to deal with some issues. The last I knew he was in 7th grade and still talking like a baby.
Maybe you could try just playing with her, talking baby talk with her, make it a game. She'd probably get tired of it! It doesn't sound like it's anything to really worry about, although there is a reason she's doing it, and you could explore that by asking her in a curious gentle way. If she does need more attention, give it to her. I wonder if it might have anything to do with what she sees her older sister going through, and being afraid of growing up? 14 can be a tough age.
I would let her know that baby talk is not acceptable at home either. Tell her that you know she can be a big girl because she does it at school. Let her know that when she talks baby talk "you can't hear her." The first couple times when she talks baby talk, you might say outloud "is someone talking to me? I can't quite hear them" and she'll most likely talk normal. Then after a couple times just ignore her altogether until she says it in a normal voice. I use to do this when my kids whined. I wanted to wait to respond until it was said in a non whiny voice. Worked like a charm.
Hey M.- I have a 3rd grade girl who spends about 20 minutes each morning at our house before walking to school with my 1st grade daughter. This girl uses baby talk and it irritates me when I hear it - but I don't answer to it, and my husband and I have explained to her how she should speak in certain situations. (i.e. she uses baby talk to ask for cereal, we ask her to ask properly, and when she does then we happily give it to her and resume a normal morning.) Our daughter was beginning to pick up on it, so we wanted to nip it in the bud. We remind her that she is her own person, and she doesn't need to act like her friends to be a cool person.
I think it's a phase, and if you just make her converse with you as usual, then you're teaching her properly. If she uses it in play, then it's up to you, but I'd let it slide.
js
My 8 year old does the same thing, it's not anything deep....like wanting attention or feeling safer as a baby! All kids want attention! They do it because other kids do it at school and it is a phase. Now that being said, you do have to do something to stop it using any of the ideas the other mom's offered because we all know adults who will still baby talk and that's the worst. Don't allow it but don't worry about it either and i bet if you hang out at her school you will hear a lot of kids baby talking, soooooo annoying.
God Bless -B
We do exactly what Melissa wrote. We just don't "hear" or understand baby talk or whining so there's no incentive or rewards for them to do it.
Hi M.,
Just my 2 cents. Are you sure she is not talking baby talk at school as well? I am the mother of 3 daughters ages 11, 9 and 2. When the middle one got to be around the age of 8, it seemed like she talked baby talk ALL THE TIME!! I am also a Girl Scout leader and my husband coaches my daughters soccer team. When activities began, I could not believe my ears. Almost all of the girls, whether a little or lot, were baby talking. Not sure the fascination, but boy is it annoying. We don't allow our daughter to speak that way and we did the "I don't understand you when you speak that way" Which now boils down to "Excuse me?!?" and she will talk in a normal voice. Good luck, it will wear off!!!
I have to put in my two cents - Exactly what the other moms are saying. We have never talked baby talk to our son. If he starts pointing to what he wants - I ask him what does he want and tell him I don't understand pointing - Use your words. Just keep on her - I don't understand baby talk. Or don't even acknowledge it at all. Good luck.
