My 3YO daughter usually speaks really well, has a huge vocabulary, and speaks very clearly (and this is not just my opinion, it's also the opinion of the Sunday School teacher and preschool teachers). For the past week or two, she has started doing two things: 1) she will talk like a baby and say her "l" as a "w", as in "wike" instead of "like" and 2) she is talking about herself in third person ALL THE TIME ("she doesn't want to eat that for dinner"). Is this a normal thing? Nothing in our daily routines or lives has changed AT ALL anytime in the recent past. I find the baby talk annoying and the third-person narrative is also getting on my nerves lately. Do I just let her work through this phase? The only reason I can think of for her to revert to this baby talk is that some of the kids in her preschool class can't say their "L" properly, and she is talking like them because she hears them in class 2 days per week.
Any suggestions? Is this normal?
My son is 7.5 months old, so I didn't really think about him being an influence on my daughter, but now that I think about it, there is a direct correlation. My daughter has been wanting to "be a baby" for quite some time now (months?) and I just brush it off and tell her that she's a big girl and the big sister, not a baby. I think the problem is that she sees how much attention he is getting and she feels like she needs to compete and that never turns out well. :)
To be honest, I was a bit offended by the suggestion that I am overreacting to this type of behavior, but upon further reflection, I guess I really shouldn't feel as irritated by my daughter's behavior as I do. I am just so proud of how well she speaks for her age!
Basically I need to find a way to spend more QUALITY time with my daughter AND spend more time by myself (I am getting ZERO me time, and that makes for a stressed-out, cranky Mama!). Thank you for all the suggestions, I am already correcting her with gentleness and love and trying not to make a big deal about this.
Sounds like she may be acting out because of the baby. Have her do things for you like going to get a diaper, wet wipes, etc. so she'll feel like she's being payed attention to. I babysit a 3 yr old when her sister was born. She was (and still is) defiant. I had trouble handling her but when I had her do "big girl" things, she was a totally different person.
T.
Hi E.,
You might want to just ignore it. She's saying she still wants to be a baby. That's common with a new baby in the home. I'd let her pretend to be little sometimes, by holding her more etc. and at other times remind her and her baby brother how she gets to do something the baby isn't 'allowed' to do, because she's bigger. She'll phase out of it without any need to correct the behavior.
E.,
I am noticing the same thing with my little boy, who just turned 4 a few weeks ago. I do think it is because most of the kids in his preschool still do a lot of "baby talk". I was worried at first, and I tried to correct him, but now I try to not make too big a fuss. He can quit doing it when it suits him, and giving him attention about it seemed to make it worse. I also am trying to give positive attention when he does "big boy" stuff.
I think it is an attention getting phase that kids go through. It drives me crazy, but I think it will pass!
M.
Just tell her that you can't understand what she's trying to say and ignore it... Tell her that EVERY TIME you hear her talking like that and make her repeat it correctly before doing what she's asking.
About the 3rd person thing, when she says "she" correct her. Say " Silly, its I, not she..." Correct her, but don't make a big deal out of it. My 4 yr old will still say "we's house" instead of our house. But the way they learn is by our inserting the proper words in there and drawing their attention to them nicely.
When you get a bunch of speaking girls together in a group (daycare/ school age) They tend to play mommy/ baby. The way they pretend to be babys is to cry like they think babys cry (loud and annoyingly, worse than any real baby) or talk like a baby. Its a natural thing and since they can't shrink themselves down to infant size on demand that is how they distinguish those playing baby and those who are the mommys/ daddys. Its normal and a great developmental milestone.
both of my kids (now teens) did this. In both cases there was either someone in school or someone on TV that spoke the same. It was a phase. I would correct them (making no big deal about it) and eventually it worked its way out. In one case, when I found the TV character out, I threatened to pull the plug unless my child starting talking right. Good Luck
I think it is a stage she is going through and it will have to run its course. I used to call my dad "Suzy" for awhile. Nobody knew why and I don't think I did. My almost 3 year old is calling her dad by his name instead of daddy. She will say "Rusty's home" it might be because my oldest son calls him Rusty since it is his stepdad but she did go through a stage of calling me A. also. Kids are trying to find their personality so they will do silly things sometimes. This too shall pass.
Hi E.,
You don't mention how old your son is. It could be her wanting her to be like her friends at school. However, it could also be a way to get more attention. We all know babies take a lot of our attention. Your daughter may be feeling a little left out. She previously had ALL your attention... now she has to share you. She may think that if she acts like a baby then she will get more attention from you.
I would try to remain calm. Talk to her and let her know that she is a big girl and isn't a baby anymore. Let her know how proud you are of her and all the things she can do. I'm sure it will pass.
You may also want to carve out some just 'mommy and daughter' time.
I noticed this with my 4 year old when my nephew turned one last year. He not only turned his speech but his bahavior reverted...it was quite annoying as I am partially deaf and really could not understand anything he would say!
He only sees them a couple times a month, but this taslking and bahavior lasted for weeks. Actually, when we see him, my son will still do it!
Now that he is in pre-school, he turns into all kinds of other kids. I guess this must be normal, my doctor said he is fine.
The pre-school instructor says she did a little test with him and his pronunciations and he is fine. They all say not to worry.
We live in MI, and my daughter was called 'our little New Yorker' for her speaking. She just did not say the r's. She finally enunciates properly at 8, but I was worried and asked teachers and speech therapists so many times. They all said she was fine, and now I know she is! ( guess it was behavioral, since she would say all words correctly when I worked one on one with her.)
I guess I am trying to say, your daughter is most likely going to be just fine and grow through this phase! Try to relax!
I did make games to play with them - they had to identify, and say specific words in my concentration-like game. Then I knew they were ok. They could not find the next rabbit or llama unless they said it loud and clear...
Sorry, that got long!
I am sure it could be a good friend at school she is mimicking. If you do not make a huge deal of it or show that it is bugging you (they can pick up on this and they go with it!), she will stop. Especially if you gently and positively enforce the correct her.
I have 3 children who pick up habits from other children such as baby talk or expressing themselves as their friends do. I tell them to act like themselves, not their friends. My youngest thinks it's cute to talk "baby" and I correct her by saying "Talk like yourself, you know your smarter than that". She immediately corrects herself.
Been there...I just tell my son that when he talks like that I can't understand him. It usually works. I think it's being picked up from others, too.
~L.
I think it's normal - my nephew started adding the 'd' or 'k' sound to the start of words when he was 3-4, any my daughter did it quite a bit for a while as well. She's pretty much stopped now (3 also). We just always made sure that we said the word correctly and if she was asking for something, we would rephrase, you would like some .... and make sure we emphasised the correct sound just a bit.
I think they are just experimenting with the letter sounds. :)
Have they been talking about rhyming words recently? I noticed it a bit more when her rhyming ability really started increasing.
Mine does this sometimes too. Don't make a big deal out of it, she will like the attention. When it really gets on my nerves, I say "I know you are trying to tell me something but I dont' understand what you are saying. I will in the living room when you are ready to come tell me in a normal/regular voice". This usually works since she is not getting the attention or whatever it is that she wants. Sometimes I say that it "hurts my ears when she talks like that so I will be ready to listen when you are ready to talk in her normal voice." I use my normal voice to say this, if you wait until you are frustrated then you give her a reaction. Keep it neutral, or a little sad that you can't understand her.
My daughter does it too and it drives me nuts!!!! I have a baby I dont' need my 4 yo to act like one! She started this when she was closer to three but she still does it. I really don't know what to tell you since, obviously, I don't have the magic answer. But I told myself I'm goign to be consistent and adament about not responding or answering her when she talks like that. Instead, tell her I couldn't quite hear her, could she say that again. And usually she corrects it. I did notice one night we were sitting around the table, me my husband, and her, and she was talking up a storm and it was alot of fun. Maybe it is a security issue. Seems like when she feels confident about what she is talking about she doesn't do it. She does the third person thing to except she uses her name or "Kelly's" name. Kelly seems to visit alot :) So she blames things on her or uses Kelly in place of her own name. Kelly does what she does and has as many siblings and lives in the same kind of house etc. So, at least she doesn't have an imaginary friend. maybe if we really encouraged them when they are acting or talking like "big girls" then it would help. You know, the ol' positive reinforcement and redirect the unwanted behavior. Sorry, I don't have exact answers and I don't want to act like I do. I just wanted you to know that other kids do this.
HI E.,
Your daughter is very bright and is just experimenting with language. It sounds a lot like my grandson at that age. He conquered the English language easily, so he started rhyming and playing with the language- he talked in verse and said things that just astounded us. He also invented some imaginary friends at about that age and gave them some very unique creative names. She may be imitating what she hears from other children. My grandson did not understand that other children could not speak as well as he did, so he said some baby talk, too, because he thought that they were joking around. So don't worry, this will pass- it is most likely a phase. If the 'l' doesn't correct itself by the time she is in kindergarten, then speech therapy will be indicated, but I doubt that will be the case. Just relax and love her- she sounds terrific!
M.
Hello E., It could be that she is picking up on your irritation and rattled nerves. This can stress out children, because they rely on us adults to feel safe and secure. So if you are up-tight she will follow suit. It is not a big deal that she is reverting a little, but it is a big deal that such a little thing would irritate you to the degree that it has. It is not your daughters responsabiltiy to keep you happy and stress free by doing everything perfectly now or as she gets older. Can you get support from friends and family? Maybe a group of moms you could meet with in your area. I am glad that you are reaching out to this site where other moms can keep in touch. You don't say how old your son is, but sibling rivalry can cause a child to revert also. Maybe she is wanting more positive attention from you. The biggest piece of advice though is to just relax and remind yourself that this is just a stage, and will pass sooner than you can imagine. Good luck.
I think your instinct is right... she is picking this up from the other kids. My daughter has talked like a baby after other kids have been around and I have corrected her and pointed out that the other kid didn't know how to say the word properly. She may be picking up on the third person from listening to the teachers.
Do not panic! I went through the same thing with my now 7 year old son and freaked out. He's very intelligent and speaks way above his peers now, so it had no lasting affects. My current 4 year old son is NOW doing the same thing. I'm convinced it's just a stage that they all go through and remind him when he talks like that that I cannot understand him. I make sure he knows that I would be more than happy to have a conversation with him when he wants to speak like the big boy 4 year old that he is. He quickly speaks plain and correctly!!
GOOD LUCK!
