Another Baby? or Two?

I am the oldest of 5. There's a big gap between the 3rd and 4th. I'm close with all. We're all very tight. The two youngest are only two years apart, but their bond isn't much different from the rest of us ealier children. If you have the means, go for it!

Hi M.,

I am just agreeing with the other mom's. If you can afford it why not. I have 3 children 8, 4, & 2. It is kinda true what they say 2 is company, 3 is a crowd, there is usually always someone being left out, but they do fine with it, like they needed the alone time anyway. It has been tough with 3, I am out numbered and can't be everywhere that I am needed all the time, but I couldn't do all that even when I had 2 children. You just do the best you can and it is just more children to love and us mom's always have room for that.

Good luck from another only child,
~G.~

Hi M.... My name is S.. I am a mother of an almost four year old boy, my daughter is two and a half and my youngest son just turned one. We have so much fun together. The kids love to play together and I highly reccomend having another child. Two kids was easier than three but I couldn't imagine not having Jacob around. The two older kids call him their baby and just love to do everything fo him. We really have a blast and so will you!!!

I can't tell you what its like yet, but we just took the plunge. I found out I'm pregnant with our third just a week ago. Our boys are 5 and 2.5 years, so we're hoping to be done potty-training the second by the time the third comes along.

If you're worried about the extra chores involved with a 3rd, a friend from a big family once told me "The first child raises the parents, the parents raise the second child, and the rest are raised by their older siblings." Seriously, my boys are already learning to be great helpers and I'm sure they'll be great with the baby. The only thing I am not looking forward to is more sleep deprivation.

Dear M.,

I know exactly how you feel and I always wanted to have at least another one to make three, but it didn't happen. It was a good idea too because of the way that our lives went. It truly is a lot of work to have more than two. No, it won't hurt the relationship of your first two children, and it might be a nice to wait for a few more years, so that they can enjoy the new baby, and get to enjoy their own baby hood for a while longer.

That is all I know. C. N.

I can't tell you how YOU will feel about it, or how it will be with YOUR family, but I can tell you from mine and my husband's family. I am the youngest of 3 and LOVE that I was raised with both a big brother and a big sister. My husband is the youngest of 7. Yes SEVEN! They ALL get along so well and talk about how fun it was to grow up with so many siblings. They said they ALWAYS had someone to play with, even if Mom was cooking dinner and Dad was doing yard work. They did have a few struggles though as well. For example, at one point the family was so poor that they made skirts for the girls out of dyed rice and potato sacks, and the boys only had 2 pairs of pants. They also had a LOT of rice, beans, and potatoes because their so cheap.

Even to this day, all 7 go out of their way to help each other and their parents. I LOVE being a part of their family! And I LOVE-LOVE-LOVE my son having so many cousins as a result. 13 FIRST cousins, on my husband’s side alone. Plus 3 more on my side. If my brother marries is current girlfriend it will add 2 more, and if my sister marries her boyfriend, there will be ANOTHER 4! That will give my son 22 cousins, and not everyone is done having kids! I LOVE it!

I personally want 4 kids, but my husband isn’t sure he agrees. He’s afraid we’d HAVE to put our kids in public school and he’s also is afraid that we may have to deprive them the opportunity to participate in special sports or hobbies because we couldn’t afford it. I understand where he’s coming from, but haven’t given up on it, YET!

Talk to your hubby about what you really want for your kids and what having another would do to that desire. If in the end, you BOTH agree that another kid (or 2) is in the cards for you, then there you have it. However, if one parent is against it, it is better that you DO NOT have the child. The un-wanting parent may unintentionally reject the child.

Hope it helped~ J.

Well I have 5 boys. If you can afford it then I say go for it. If you deal with kids well and can handle adding another one. Can your husband deal with kids? Big families are fun, but they are also busy. Mine are more spread out and I think it would be easier if they were closer in age. But at the same time my older kids get to have the chance to take care of a baby. So it can go either way I guess.

I am the mother of 4 children currently ages 20, 16, 9, & 5. I have often though of having more! However my 20yr old took care of that his girl friend just had a baby, so I now am a young grandmother.
I say if it is in your heart then go for it! As for money, yes you should use some common sense, but I would not let money be a major factor. God will provide.
Children are a blessing, and if you are a loving parent you will raise the most wonderful children.
Having children close in age is fine, how you handle it will help the others adjust.
Best wishes on your future parenting.

we have been debating the same thing. we have 18 month old twins. i think that if we decide to have another. the children will figure it out. a friend of mine told me that your capacity to love your children grows with each new member you add to your family. if you are blessed with more, then i say good for you and your family!

I agree with the previous response - if you can afford to have more then do it. I would love to have 3 or 4, but financially I don't think we can afford it. I have a 2 yr old and a 4 month old. I don't think I'd want the next ones to be so close in age. My husband grew up and there were 7 siblings. They were all very close in age. I think 2 years was the farthest apart they were. I don't think I would go for 7 kids, but 3 or 4 is a nice big family. If you really want more then have more.

What is "better" is DEEPLY individual - my own mom almost stopped at one (me), agreed to two (the brother) and STOPPED. She was happy she did - she always said two was what she could handle.

I, on the other hand, have four. They are currently 9, 7, 5, and almost 3. It is wild! And also crazy! But also a great deal of fun. I love it; even when I'm about ready to tear my hair out and run screaming from the house.

We do a lot together in a herd, and we also do things in smaller groups. I'll take JUST this one, or JUST these two with me to things. It allows me to focus on each individual kid now and then, rather than the whole pack. I don't think we've grown apart as we've grown larger...but we have grown LOUDER and also MESSIER. ;-)

So, to be COMPLETELY unhelpful - I think it all depends on YOU and what YOU are comfortable with. The children, whether there's one or fifty, will be happy and content if YOU are - they follow our lead on that front, look to us to see what life is supposed to be like. A lot of kids is a lot of work, no mistake; and they're expensive; and demanding; and they will run you right into the ground. I'm glad I have my four and wouldn't trade it for all the peace and quiet in the world, but I can readily see why others go, "NO WAY!" and stick with one or two.

Do what feels comfortable for you. The rest will follow.

Because of a divorce - I am about to have number 5 any day... I can say that when I had #3 - the whole tone in the house changed - -- instead of fighting over me - they started to take turns - one with the baby and one with me - - - the whole house seemed so much more peaceful.....

Having 4 they pretty much pair up two by two and now I get a bit lonely...LOL....

I am a bit nervous about number 5 - but we shall see......

V.

This is really for you and hubby to decide... The relationships between the kids can never be predicted and are based more on temperament of the children than anything else. For my situation, hubby & I talked about having 3 before we started having kids, but the 2 that we have are enough for us!! If a third came along, I think the stress of being sole breadwinner might make my husband explode (I quit working when child #1 was 11 months old). Also, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel for traveling with just 2, I think a 3rd would make our yearly traveling extremely difficult. Also, I'm looking forward to doing things with the older one like girlscouts, etc, and having one more in tow will be OK, but 2 extras??? I just think I couldn't do a good job being involved in outside activities with more kids. But these are lifestyle decisions that only your family can make. Good luck! I think it is great that you are going into making this very important decision with your eyes wide open!

Hi M.:

My husband is one of two children, and he always said that 2 was the perfect number (harmony and all that). I on the other hand, was one of 3, plus half and step siblings. We have three kids right now and are expecting our 4th this winter, and I love having a "big" family.

The adjustment from 2 to 3 kids is a very big one. It takes a ton more work, but it's really worth it. And everyone I've come across with more kids has said that after 3, any more is a piece of cake (we'll see). An older friend of mine once told me that if she had anything to do over, she would have had more kids (she had two) because when you get old, all you have is your kids. That was just something that stuck with me. Whatever you guys decide, make sure it's what you want and what you think is right for your family. Hope this helps. Good luck.

If you can physically and financially afford to comfortably have another child or two, then go for it! People with 2 and 3 year olds have other children all the time, and while the adjustment to bringing a new baby into the home may be difficult, your children WILL get over it (millions of children have more than one sibling close in age and are completely happy, healthy, and well adjusted). SO many couples do not get to choose how many children they can have because of medical, financial and personal reasons - if you and your husband feel the desire to have more children, then have them! With two toddlers, Im sure you realize that adding another baby to the mix definitely increases the chaos, but Im guessing you know how chaos works with two children under 4 years old! Fortunately for you, both children will be significantly older once you get pregnant and actually have the baby, so by the time it arrives, both of your children will have a much greater level of self sufficiency (dress/undress themselves, go to the potty, feeding ones self, etc) so that you may have an easier time getting used to more than two children without having to personally cater to their every need.

I have 3 girls ages 5, 4 and 22 months. The first two are 21 months apart and the second two are 27 months apart. Having our 3rd baby was such an easy transition. All 3 girls get along well. I was woried that the older and younger would be too far apart but she is so sweet like a mini mom. I say if your both debating it go for it. You will never regret having another child but you might regret not having one.

Hi There-- I have 3 kids, two boys and a girl. I've always wanted one more girl for my only daughter. I have thought of adopting a baby girl, so she can experience having a sister. I definitely think it's easier sticking to even numbers.
K.