Almost 3 Year Old Going Potty on the Floor!! Help!!

I think you're right - it isn't really for attention...I think it's just she doesn't want to take the time to "do the deed". We tried all the things you tried - taking stuff away, stern talks, etc. And I agree - even if you guys were the "spanking type", don't think that that would be the way to go.

I'll tell you what we did with our now nearly 5 year old....any time she wanted to do something - play on my computer, wanted a snack, whatever - "Go potty first." Didn't matter what the request was, what we were getting ready to do or where we were going..."Go potty first." Even if she was getting ready to start a new activity..."Go potty first." It worked like a charm.

Good luck!

I am a stay at home mother of 5. my oldest is 11, my youngest 2, she will be three in dec. The one reason I waited to potty train my now 5yr old and have not begun to potty train my 2 and 1/2 yr old is because of a similar experience I had with my now 6 year old. Like your daughter he was completly potty trained by 2 and 1/2. Then right around three yrs. he started going whenever and wherever. What was worse, he would play in his feces. When I would check on him during nap time and sure he was fast asleep, I would still find feces smeared everywhere in his room after his nap. I still remeber these months as my most difficult parenting. I talked to his peditrician, then got a second opinion, even talked to a child psychologist and any other mom I could find with a child his age. Big mistake. I had so much information, I was at a loss.
I do know now, from experience, find the solution that you are most comfortable with (by gut instinct) and stick to it. Trying a lot of different things will only confuse you and your daughter.
So, my final piece of advice- Patience. Punishing and discipline may not be the solution,if they have not worked yet. Especialy if you have been consistant. I think I remember my ped. telling me it takes six weeks to develop a habit or a learned behavoir.
But if I could do it all over again, I would take more deep breathes, buy more lysol, and focus on rewards when he did use the potty. Your daughter will grow out of this. Faster than it seems.
Let me know what happens.

tough love?? Maybe??? Put her back in diapers and make her clean up her messes. (even if you have to go back later and do it again) the more of a pain in the rear and gross it is for her to clean up, the less likely she will do it. DO NOT HELP HER when she is cleaning it up. It may only take one time of cleaning up feces or rug cleanner on Urine. I know with my 4 kids- every time it was THEM cleaning up after somethign they did, it never happened again. If i did the cleaning, it happened again and again.

Putting her back in diapers may also be the bit of Minor humiliation she needs to stop. Back in diapers and can't go to school? Back in diapers and infront of her friends? Peer presusre can be a positive thing.

Sorry if i sound mean, you can do these two things in a loving way calm tone..... "since you are not ready to be a big girl, you need to wear diapers again. You made hte mess, you must clean it up. Let mommy get you the things you need to do so..." CALM that is reallyt he key, sweet tones your not upset even when yo uare livid inside, the reaction they get from you is not what they wanted or we worried about, the consequences are quick, direct adn directly related to the "crime" and they realize that was just not worth it. Good Luck

I had a simular problem with my now five yearold. Instead of going on the floor she just went in her pants and wouldn't let me change her. My daughter's problem was just that she was so busy playing she wouldn't take the time out to go to the bathroom. Your little one might be going through the same phase. If it was me I would schedule potty breaks every 30 min and reward her every day that she doesn't go potty on the floor. My daughter (when she was 4) also went through the imitating the dog potty scenerio, but she ran outside to pee in the grass like the dog (oh what drama, we live in town and no fense mind you) :) I also remember my nephew going through simular things, he built a 'toilet' with cement blocks one time and pooped in it b.c he 'didn't have time to come inside', yea right took 10 min to build the toilet. And there was a time he pinned a close pin you-know-where so the pee wouldn't come out during his cartoon. Needless to say, kids do the darnest things when it comes to potty breaks. PS, is a tv in your daughters room really any different than parents who have the space to have a play room with a tv in it or a tv room?? I don't think so and as adults, we can only watch and re-watch the same movie a certain amount of times per day.

J.,
I know this may sound funny but when my older sister was about your daughters age she did the same thing her room and play room. We had both dogs and cats growing up but they were mostly outside animals. My mom did the same thing you are doing with your daughter, haveing talks about where you go to the potty etc... This faze did not last very long. Once she was a little older she told my mom that she saw the animals doing it and wanted to do it too.

Is her stool loose? If it is it could be just that she might not be able to make it to the potty. Or she just might be to into playing and not want to take time to go. My daughter who just turn 4 yesterday does that sometimes. She waits till she can't hold it anymore and can't make it to the potty.

I would just watch her juice and liquid intake and hope it is just a faze. Maybe mention it to her doctor just to be safe, but like I said my sister did the same thing. We laugh about it now that we are grown, and this is the first time I have ever heard of someone else doing it (eventhough it might not be for the same reasons). GOod luck with the issue :)

Maybe it's medical, not a behaviour issue... maybe talk to your pediatrician. On another note, she's got her own TV in her room?!?

maybe making her clean it up would help.

i would have her assist in the clean up, so she can see what it's like to actually clean up her mess.

There are lots of great responses, so I'll try to keep mine short. Has your daughter had a recent growth spurt? Sometimes a child will have accidents after a growth spurt. Definitely check things out with a pediatrician to make sure there isn't a physical cause. I tried lots of encouragement, removal of toys, privileges, etc with my 5 yr old only to find out she had constipation and overactive bladder. She would have accidents on the floor because she couldn't feel always feel the need to go. Othertimes we'd find a big mess because she tried to hide it from us.

Good luck!

Hi J.,

The first thing that I would do, before I do absolutely anything else, is make an appointment with her pediatrician. There are alot of reasons she could be urinating on the floor and several of them are physical. She could be constipated. Not to the point of her bowels not moving, but enough that it puts pressure on her bladder and causes her to urinate with absolutely no warning to her that she needs to go. She could have a unrinary tract or bladder infection that's causing spasms that she sometimes can't control. I would certainly rule out any outside factors before you took any more disciplinary action.

Other things to consider are emotional reasons. Children will intentionally urinate because they can control it. It's a control issue or an area where they can flex muscles or express frustration or even get attention.

I think in this case, getting to the why will be a big help in figuring out how to get it to stop. I know this is so frustrating and more than a little bit gross. I would sit her down and ask her questions. "Why" isn't a good one because it is too broad. Start with what she was doing when she had to go. How did she feel. Was she mad that day. Was she scared she would get in trouble. Questions like these that are more specific and will get you more concrete answers as well as lead you to the next questions.

I hope this helps.

L.

Hi,
And what does your little girl say? Does/can she try explain why she's doing it?
You said you and your husband got married in May ...although it sounds like he is your daughter's dad, the marriage itself probably was a significant event for everyone...could it have affected her in some way - perceived shift in family dynamic?
Just thinking of psychological reasons...

I feel your pain!
I took a parenting class when my girl was about that age, and one thing I really remember was about how to talk about misbehavior in a positive/non-accusatory way that allows the child not to get put on the defensive, but rather to think about how their actions affect others. By saying something like "When [such-and-such] happens, it makes me feel ... because ..." you're letting them know exactly what is upsetting you and why a lot better than lectures or even time-outs. Then they can consider how what they are doing affects others, which might be better incentive than just trying to avoid parents' anger. Also, applying consequences that FIT THE CRIME is very important. For example, if the kid won't set the table because they are too involved watching TV, grounding from TV would be fitting, but taking away their trip to the park the next day wouldn't. You get what I mean.
These two things really helped me through the potty-training stage of pee on the floor. Once after cleaning the carpet for the second or third time that day, I said to my daughter something like, "When you pee on the floor that makes mommy feel upset because I have to clean it up every time and I don't like doing that." She said back to me, "Okay, mommy, I clean it," and got out the carpet cleaner to get to work :) That was the start of her starting to make it to the potty on time a bit more.
I hope this is helpful! Good luck!
J. B (mother of two - one still in the potty training stages!)

Hello J.! Well, the first thing to do is to try to find out why, right? Is she just doing this in her room and nowhere else? I'm assuminging that the answer is yes since you moved her potty back into her room. If so, that narrows it down. If she had an infection or problem controlling her bladder and bowels for some reason, then I would think she would do it anywhere that she happened to be at the time. But I'd still take her to her doctor if I were you just to be 100%sure that it's not due to something physical. Do you and your husband work outside the home? I was thinking that it could be her way of getting more time and attention from you. Does she go to day care? If so, she could be imitating the behavior of smaller children that she sees using diapers. Again, she may see their need for being diapered as a way to get attention. Of course, none of this may be the case. I'm just throwing out a couple of ideas. Hope you get things straightened out soon!

I am concerned about the punishments being given, as this kind of behavior usually has some sort of emotional origin and should be dealt with sensitively, not with shaming. I do agree with removing the TV, however, just on principle! This sounds like one to discuss with your pediatrician 1st, and perhaps to get a reference for a child psychologist. Perhaps knowing she is going to have to go back to daycare is causing her stress? The way you are currently handling things seems likely to aggravate the problem and to create new issues to deal with. Don't overlook the possibility of a physical problem, such as a urinary tract infection. Please be respectful and sensitive toward your child, and good luck.