my son will be 3yrs old how do I wean him? I've tried reading to him, singing and so on. He will only fall asleep after reading alot of books and if it really late. What else can I do? He only nurses when he goes to sleep. Please let me know if anyone has some advice.
Hello H. :)
I have known many people who wean toddlers and all of them did so with a little tears (from both parties). The only way to stop is to be firm and say no to him everytime. He will cry but if it is what you feel is right then you have to stay firm. After you say no then redirect him with something else. Try offering a toy or stuffed animal. Good luck, I know it is hard.
First of all, I commend you for giving your son all of those wonderful benefits for this long! Congrats.. He will eventually stop, my daughter did close to three, my oldest at 1! Everyone is different, he will eventually stop. I think you are doing a wonderful job, keep at it especially for a single parent thats really hard. My hat goes off to you!! Lots of luck with everything.
H., I'm a single Mom too - I have a two year old and you did my heart good to hear that your son is three and you are still struggling with it. I thought I was the oddball or something :-)
My daughter was preemie - only 4 pounds at birth - and breastfeeding was something I took very seriously. She's always been small, but eats well now - she's very healthy and I'm convinced it all helped these past two years.
We're partially weaned off - the only problem is this partial business has been going on for 6 months or so now! I thought the night time "feeding" would be the hardest for her to give up, but not anymore - I've got her going to bed on her own really well.
She can't seem to give up the first thing in the morning nursing - usually around 6am - just a few minutes of it upon waking - and the coming home from work after being separated all day nursing - that's the longest and lasts only about 20 minutes or so - it's obvious she's just reconnecting with me again after being separated all day. I've come up with ways to avoid the morning one, but the coming home at night one is just impossible it seems! I try to distract her, try to do other things - she just doesn't go for it and only wants to breastfeed for a little while when we first get home.
The only other thing that's still a bit of a challenge is when I am home with her she likes to try to get little sips here and there from me when she can, and won't stop doing that, and that's all they are - sips! But at least then I can say no and get her interested in something else most of the time.
It's just the hardest thing in the world to say no to, ya know? I could give it up easily if she lost interest, but just taking it away from her is incredibly hard to do! I'm still hoping that she'll just lose interest on her own eventually - now I'm hoping before she is 3 if not sooner!
Good luck - I totally know what you are going thru and altho I had no advice to offer, I guess I was looking for a bit of my own and loved reading everyone's responses - this subject particularly caught my attention! Just know you're not alone, H. - going thru the same thing here!
C.
Hi H.,
Your son may be missing the closeness and bond. You may try to cuddle him and give him a sippy cup. Although ideally water would be best for his teeth, warm milk (not hot) has tryptophan (the same ingrediant in turkey that makes you tired after Thanksgiving) Also the warmth of the liquid helps. Consistancy is key. Don't give in just because it's convienant; this will just confuse him. If he asks or whines about breastfeeding, just say that yes you remember it as a special time too and that there will be other things you can do together that are special. Once he develops a good night time routine, it will get easier.
Hope this helps!
H.
Since your son is older and it sounds like you are taking the lead on weaning, it will take a lot of time and patience. And even after a few months he may still ask. THe best thing I can offer as far as a suggestion to keep a routine and it will retrain his clock. For example- Start with a bath, brush teeth, read the same amount of books or for a certain time period, then lights out. Whatever your routine, just be VERY consistent with it, especially with the time. Start at the same time, spend the same amount of time doing each activity leading upto bed. Good luck and I know that weaning an older child is very difficult but I'm sure that you are reaping the rewards of extended brestfeeding and in no time at all this too will have passed!
BEcky
I weaned my daughter at 20 mos and basically I shortened the nursing times kinda slowly till we were no longer doing it. She still expressed wanting to nurse like a few days after she was weaned but I just occupied her and involved her in something that distracted her.GOOD LUCK
Does he sleep by himself or with you? If he sleeps w/you and it's possible to change that, I would do so soon. He needs to be more independent at almost three. When they're walking and talking and eating table food it's not neccesary to be nursing any longer....You need to just stop! The only way he's gonna get over it is if you stop allowing it. It's not a neccesity at this point, just a habit for you both. He'll cry and be unhappy, but he can deal with it fairly quickly at 3 if you stay strong and do not relent. Good luck! :D
I just recently weaned my 23 month old daughter and I started by bringing a sippy cup of milk to our bedtime ritual.. At first I even snuggled her like we were nursing when she drank it and then it just became something that she drank while we were reading our books and listening to our bedtime music. It took a while but it worked great!!!
I recently weaned my son at 28 months because I was in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy with my youngest and we decided it was time. Like yours he was just nursing to sleep. I just limited the time he was allowed to nurse a little at a time until we were down to 30 seconds. I would stop him and then snuggle him to sleep. He only cried the first few times I stopped him and I just held him until he fell asleep and told him it was all gone. Eventually we just snuggled and he fell asleep without nursing at all. He still sleeps in our bed and doesn't ask to nurse. I think continuing to cosleep helped because even though he doesn't nurse he still has that closeness. Good luck!
