Here's my situation....I just found out I'm pregnant and my boyfriend and I need advice on how to tell our kids(my daughter is 8 and his daughter is 6) that I am pregnant. It's a weird situation. I've only told close family members and friends of mine and my boyfriend that I'm expecting. Naturally my family is not too thrilled and is keeping their distance especially my mother. She only wants to stay in contact with me for my daughter. She is really upset but I cannot let her stress me out. Co-workers of mine have told me to wait until the second-trimester. Any advice on how and maybe where we can tell the children? Thanks....
So here's the update.....We told the kids this past friday night that we're getting married and that we're having a baby....Wow they were so HAPPY!!!!!! Before we told them we bought them both a little something to make them feel speacial.....We felt very relieved and their already telling everyone they can think of....It feels so much better to let them know....Their already thinking of names and what colors and themes for the baby!!!!! Thank you so much for all of your advice....Stay posted for further updates!!!!!!!! THANKS
Hello and Congrats,
May I suggest on telling them when you are at least past 12 wks. I made the mistake of telling my daighter who was 3 at the time that we would were expecting and she was so excited. I lost that baby at 13 1/2 weeks. She was devastated and I felt so bad. When I got pregnant again I did not tell her until I was about 16 weeks. Best of luck to you, stay well!
L.
I think you should just go ahead and tell them both now. Why wait. It will probly upset them more to learn you hid it from them. If it`s a happy thing for you and your boyfriend, celebrate with them, not leave them out. If you delay on telling them they may think it`s something to not be happy about and feel left out.
I agree with previous advice of telling the girls at the same time & making it something you are excited about & including them. Regardless of the situation with your boyfriend & your family this baby is coming. If you are excited about it the girls will be too. But if you're not ready to share the news with the world yet than wait to tell the girls - cause that is a very big secret for little girls to be asked to keep! We told my 6 year old pretty early on & she had the hardest time - she let it slip a couple times before I had the chance to say anything! Good luck!
Are you planning on keeping a relationship with your boyfriend? How does your daughter and his get along? Have you considered getting married? I assume you are keeping the baby since this is an issue. My recommendation is to keep it all positive - which it is of course - get married - have the girls in the wedding - and be excited for the new direction in your life!
I think you should tell you daughter as soon as possible. What if your mother tells her before you do. she will feel that you were keeping it from her or that the pregnancy is more important to you then her knowing.
That will create problems so just sit her down and tell her ASAP!!!
Congrats on your new baby!!!
Hi! Congrats on your pregnancy. I went through the EXACT same thing with my second pregnancy so I know where you are coming from. As far as when to tell the kids that you are expecting, I would say wait until the 2nd trimester, ONLY because I told my son that I was pregnant almost as soon as we found out and then 10 weeks later I had a miscarriage. That was harder to explain why the baby he was so excited for wasn't going to be coming after all. When we got pregnant aain, we waited unti lwe knew all was okay then told him.We made him feel like he was a part of the pregnancy and hyped up the "big brother" thing. I highly recommend that.
As far as your family goes...they'll come around eventually. Most of mine did and those that didn't..they are the ones missing out.Don't let them stress you out and spoil this for you and your boyfriend,ok? Let me know how it goes!Best of Luck
Hi,
Interesting that you say that naturally your family is not thrilled. Why would they not be? Sounds like some issues with your mother and family- that will be your challenge because you should not have that stress. This can be a wonderful opportunity for the two families to get closer-now the two daughters will share something/ someone in a very different way. They will both be biologically attached to this baby equally. I think you might think about telling them when you are all together and in a very positive and loving way so that they can see how this is something for everyone to be excited about and that everyone will get to participate in. As a therapist working with families, I have seen situations like this and you are on target in not wanting to let your family ruin what can be a very positive experience for you, your boyfriend and the girls. Good luck.
L. Schnall,
How do you feel? What do you want to do? You havent really said that. Have you been together long? Do you plan marriage? Having a baby is as overwhelming as it is exciting.... One thing I learned a long time ago.. is that frankly .. in the beginning ... you dont have to say much to anyone you dont want to.. It will reveal itself in time.. Also, your body goes through alot of changes and so do your feelings... Maybe it is okay to give yourself some time... the kids are just that kids... they will be just as excited if you told them now as later .. I remember when I was about 10 my best friends mom had a baby .. and ya know when we all found out .. her included..When her mom went to the hospital to deliver.. :)
PS. Not that you should wait that long ... :)
Pray about it .
Okay first thing first... Congrats on expecting. All I can say is I don't know the situation with your family is but shame on them for not supporting you. I would suggest telling the kids before the second semester. The only reason its seems like to me that people are telling you to wait is because they think you will "change your mind" on having the baby. If you are excited and ready for this baby and are going to have it then by all means sit the kids down and explain to them that they will be having a little brother or sister. Just be upfront ith them. Kids are smart and quite frankly probably know something is up. If you dont tell them now they might get mad that you kept it a secret for a while. Please remember that in all this you have two kids that dont need to be hurt. They should be told from the beginning if you want to have this baby. Good luck and keep us updated.
Take them out to their favorite dinner and tell them you have a big suprise. Bring T-Shirts for both of them that says I am the big sister or something cute like that and give it to them at the restaraunt. Being in public will help tone down any negative response. Play it up as one of the most exciting things that has happened to you and her rather than an Ooops. All little girls want to take care of a baby so make it special for them. I would advise not doing this until you and your boyfriend have figured out your domestic situation. Living together, etc. Good luck!
