How Soon to Tell Family & Friends?

Updated on July 26, 2007
C.D. asks from Romeoville, IL
13 answers

How soon or late to you announce that you are having another child? Do you wait until you are four to five months or sooner? I just found out I am expecting another child my fourth to be honest and I am not sure when to tell family members..

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So What Happened?

Well, I have started to tell everyone. And Everyone is excited. Some already making plans for the spring and of course family outings. I am glad I started now. Thank you all for the positive feedback.

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

C.
Maybe you're just not sure because you don't know how people will react? I have 3 kids, and they're close in age (Less than 3.5 years age difference between the 3) and everyone was like "stop having kids already!"....as if it was bothersome to THEM that I had kids so close in age! My youngest is 4 and I still hear negative comments from people.

When my cousin was pg with her 4th she waited until she was showing (about 5 months) because she was afraid of what everyone would say.

I don't know - people will judge you whether you tell them now or 3 months from now. If they're in shock, they'll get over it. It is not their family anyways, it is yours.

As another post said - you are so blessed to be pg with your 4th. Think of the blessings and don't worry what people have to say. If they have anything negative to say, just remind them that you're so blessed to be happily married and you are so excited to bring more joy into your life. Remind the nay-sayers that we all really want the same things....to be happy, to be healthy and to be faithful.....and this pregnancy makes you happy, and you hope they can share in your joy.

T.

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K.P.

answers from Chicago on

C.,
Congratulations to you!!! I would tell everyone whenever you would like. I think so often women feel that they aren't supposed to tell anyone about their pregnancy early because miscarriages are more common in the first trimester. However, I feel the exact opposite. My theory is that the same people that you tell about your good news you would need to support you if you had a misscarriage. With my first pregnancy we told our family and friends right away because we were so excited. Unfortunately, I suffered a miscarriage at 11 weeks. I needed those same people to help me get through the miscarriage- so I am glad I told everyone earlier.

Good luck!!
K.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

C.,

Why would you not want to tell your family your expecting your 4th child. I would be like the others telling everyone everywhere that I was having another baby not matter what number this baby would be. I have 3 and I could not wait to tell everyone. I have 9 siblings and my dh has 6. There are 38+ grand children from all of us.

Sing your joy and tell everyone !!!!!

J.
www.noahbyjodi.com

1 mom found this helpful
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S.G.

answers from Chicago on

I think it's totally up to you on when you want to tell then. I think waiting till the 4-5th month is a bit long (won't you be showing by then? ( I know you can already see my pouch belly!!)
I'm in a similar situation. I'm 10 weeks along & Only told a few close friends & just told my aunt & uncle this weekend. I've yet to share the news with our parents,siblings, & grandparents. I think part of me is scared & nervous. This will be our 2nd baby, but I don't even know how to tell the news to everyone.. I bought a shirt for our daughter which says big sister & perhaps I have have her wear it & see who notices it? I just wanted to do something really special to "annouce it" like I did with #1. Good luck to you on whatever you decide. I'm sure your'e going through a whirlwind of emotions like I am too....

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A.A.

answers from Chicago on

We've told EVERYONE the moment we know.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Tell them whenever you feel comfortable! It's an old wives' tale to think that by telling people early you increase the chances of a miscarriage (does anyone even believe that anyway?). I have been pregnant twice and have one child. The first one was a miscarriage - we told the immediate family less than 24 hours after peeing on the stick, and miscarried 7 weeks later. With our second, we told the family within days and kept our fingers crossed that this one would stick.

Whenever you are ready is the right time for you!

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K.C.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with the previous poster. We get so wrapped up in what we "should" do that we stop ourselves from celebrating wonderful news with those closest to us. And lets face it, if the worst were to happen your family and friends are the ones you'd lean on anyway. I say shout it from the rooftops and start enjoying your newest little one.

On a side note....GOD BLESS you for having 4 children. I just had my second 6 weeks ago and I simply don't know how you do it. Hats off!!

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K.

answers from Chicago on

I think the general thinking behind waiting until after 1st trimester is that if you miscarry people will never have known you were preg. in the first place. But, it just depends on whether that possibility bothers you. Honestly, I don't think miscarrying would be any easier or more difficult if people knew about it - if they don't know they don't ask, but if they do know they are going to be sympathetic.

For me, personally, I just about burst if I keep something fun like a baby a secret for too long - I told everyone early. Whatever you decide, congrats on your pregnancy!!!

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K.

answers from Chicago on

This is exciting news...Congratulations. This is a blessing and you should be very proud that you are pregnant. When you and your husband are ready and want to tell everyone then thats when to do it. Everyone is different on when and how they tell. Make it fun and enjoy the moment.

Personally I told everyone right away but my sister waited for a couple of months to tell everyone so only a few knew. Everyone knows when they want to tell and thats alright.

Congrats and God Bless you and your family
K.

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

It is totally your decision about when and whom to tell.
Congratulations!

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L.G.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C.,

We always plan to wait till after the first trimester, but we end up telling all of our friends and family within days of the positive pregnancy test. Unfortunately, 2 out of the 3 times I ended up miscarrying and then we have the uncomfortable task of calling everyone again and telling them I miscarried. But I would tell my close friends and family that I miscarried even if I hadn't previously told them I was pregnant so why wait? Those people are my support system so they get to share in the good and the bad.

Good luck!
L.

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E.S.

answers from Chicago on

Congratulations on the pregnancy!! In my opinion you should be able to tell them as soon as you can. When did you tell them about the other pregnancies? Unless you think that they would think that you are having too many, I would tell them once you were past your three month mark. And if the family is not thrilled, then don't worry. Just as long as your husband and other children are thrilled. And if they are thrilled then you are on your way to a great pregnancy. Once again congrats and good luck!

N.P.

answers from Chicago on

It's up to you. It sounds like people may be surprised you are having a 4th but if you and your husband are happy about it - that is all that matters! For me... we told family around 8-10 weeks. But it was basically just my parents, my husband's parents and his sisters. Everyone else, we waited until we hit 12/13 weeks... Good luck and congrats!

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