Advice Needed – Logistics of the First Days with a Second Child

Wow, keep him...lol!! With my first child I was a teenage mom living at home with my parents. We will just say, if it weren't for them, I don't know what I would have done. Today he is 21 and has two daughters of his own and is a Great Dad!!
I have three more boys with my second husband, now ex. With all three of our children he was beside me throughout the labor, stayed a few hours afterwards, then it was back to work. He believed work was more important because it was our source of living. My family lived closer at the time, but they were very busy with their families and lives, so it was me and me...lol!! I am sure not complaining, today they are 16, 13 and 10 and I couldn't ask for a better bunch of boys who are so very close to their mother :)
So if your husband helps you out that much, keep him, not many dads do that, not even these days.
Good luck and take care hon!!
H.

When our 2nd was born, our first was about 18 mos. And of course my H2O broke in the middle of the night. My mom came over (Urbandale to WDM) so that we didn't have to get sam up.

I would try to keep your first's schedule as much the same as possible. There's going to be enough to adjust to without dealing with schedule upsets. i wouldn't try to have the 1st at the hospital with you. First, the attention span may not be long to sit and they'll want to run all over and you want you husband's attention to for the labor. So maybe see if relative can either pick him up or drop off at their house.

My husband went home to sleep. as he felt the chair bed thing was uncomfortable. You'll be sleeping at night, so why not let him go home late evening to get his rest.

Do stay at the hospital as long as possible. With our first we did not...we were excited to him home. but our 2nd we utilized that. That's really the only time you'll have that you can be totally waited on and get lots of rest.

Once I got some good rest at the hospital we brought sam down to visit. (That would have been the next evening) and then Chris took him home and put him to bed. and then the next day he spent some time with grandma then chris picked him up before he came back just before we checked out. So that way he knew we were all going home.

Work is hard to say, because Chris works out of the house and being a holiday break, his clients were on break too. So we had a pretty solid week of just the 4 of us.

even when you get home, get lots of rest.

With my second I had a little easier time of planning around my daughter as I was scheduled to be induced. I live in Des Moines and we dropped her off at my mom's the evening before and my mom kept her those days I was in the hospital. My husband stayed with me both nights, and took the remainder of that week off.

As far as keeping your oldest involved, one thing I was adament about was that no one else saw our son untill our daughter was brought to the hospital and saw him first (she was 5 at the time). I wanted that family time first before everyone else came to see him. The other thing we did was we bought her a baby doll that we gave to her when we brought him home. I also did the same when I had my daughter. I was young and still living at home and had two six year old brothers, so I bought them a little something too.

I kept both my kids home with me while on Maternity leave and that was only because I did not have short term disablity so was not having any money coming in to help pay for my daughters daycare. I made sure once a week that we had mommy/daughter time where we did something special together. I would recommend keeping your son on the same schedule as he is now, but add some quality one on one time with him. Even at that age they sense and realize there are changes in the home...even good ones! :)

Congratutlations!

Hello M.-

I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. When my second was born, my mom came and stayed with me in the hospital one night and the second night I stayed alone. My husband brought my daughter to the hospital during the days and they would spend the whole day there until around 7pm. I felt it was important for my husband to be at home with my oldest child at night, so that she did not feel left out. Then my husband took two weeks off to get us started in a routine at home. It was very hard for me after he went back to work. You are pulled in two different directions. You don't get to sit and bond with the second child as much as you did the first one when it was born. It just isn't that way unless you neglect the oldest child and you won't want to do that. I tried to keep my oldest childs routine the same and I just worked my baby's rountine into it. It worked out fine. Nursing was hard because my oldest needed my attention and I could not always give it to her. It was hard at first, but with your second you know it will get easier. I don't think I would have changed anything. I think we all worked through it and they have a stong bond with each other now. It's so fun to watch them grow and play together. My daughter didn't really like him too much in the very beginning, not like I thought she would. I just gave her time and did not push him on her. I tried really hard not to make over him too much or let others forget to include her when they would come to visit the baby. Anyway, I wish you luck. Let me know if you have any other questions. Just remember, it goes fast and before you know it, they will both be potty trained and running around the house playing together!! One more thing. When my husband would get home at night he would take the baby and I would spend about an hour alone doing something special (painted or went to the park...) with my oldest giving her all of my attention without the baby being around. I really think that helped her to adjust and gave her something to look forward to during the day while I had to nurse and tend to the baby. Take Care..

I had a baby in October and our daughter, Kaity was 3 1/2 years old. I was induced, so we were able to have Kaity stay with relatives while I was in labor.

As far as after the baby was born, while we were still in the hospital, my husband went home with Kaity and I stayed at the hospital by myself. During the day, he brought her up to the hospital for most of the day.

My husband took about a week off, and though I am now a SAHM, Kaity was still in daycare because we were not sure if I was staying home or not at that point. For the first couple of weeks, we continued to take her to daycare, so I could recover and get into a routine with our baby.

Good luck!