Advice - Schenectady,NY

B.,

My heart goes out to you. I too am a mom of a two year old boy and a 5 month old daughter. You sound like you could really need some time away! I have battled depression for years but I am really feeling much better lately! I have started doing something just for myself and it has made me feel so much better about being a parent and a wife. I needed something of my own. I also think websites like this are great for moms to vent, etc... I hope you are having a better day today and I would love to share with you some ideas on how I got out of the blues if you would like....

C. D

suggestion: maybe if you figure out what your really passionate about you can move forward and possibly make a full time career out of it. is it possible to put the girls into daycare while you work full time? for me working is not just a job. it's a very important outlet where i feel productive, accomplished and recognized for my hard work. i get to be around grown ups... i get to socialize... and best of all it gives me a mental break from my family an household responsibilites. hope this is somewhat helpful to you? cheer up spring should be right around the corner :D

Briget, I am sorry for the way you feel. I know the feeling. You feel alone, like no one understands or frankly cares about what you are going through. I've been there and recently began medication. It worked for me, although I understand it didn't work for you. You need someone to speak with. Can you ask your dr. for a referral, or a support group with ladies in your situation? Sounds simple, but sometimes speaking with other ladies going through the same thing, validates your feelings. You are not alone, a lot of women go through this......I hope you can reach out to someone. I wish I lived closer to you. Don't give up, seek out someone and make them listen, make your husband listen. And feel free to email.......email contact is better than nothing :-) N.

Hi B.,
It is ok to feel like you need time to yourself, I am a mother of five, my husband works long hours and my whole family is in another country, I have never had any help with my children. I know this is not easy, although I have never really suffered severe depression, my Sister has and she has said that it was the worst time in her life. She was hospitalised for almost two years after having twins (she has one older child also), she has since started her own business and is now very successful. I know this may seem like an eternity but I think that accepting what you are going through is the next step, my sister said that that is what got her out of her depression, she began to accept it and not fight it. It is ok not to be able to handle things at times, or feel like you want to get away, or if you don't want to get out of bed, that's ok too! The weather doesn't help but it will be warmer soon. Focus on that and what you want out of life, and work on a plan that will change your life. Call some friends or write a diary to let your feelings out and remember you are not alone, you are a good person and you will get through this, just give it time!
Best wishes
S. Messina
www.beautifulisskindeep.myarbonne.com

The work of Kathleen Kendall-Tackett might be helpful to you. She talks about all the things mothers can do, regardless of the cause ( you mentioned SAAD). Her papers are found online and books are avaliable too. Here's a link to one:

http://www.thedepressionchannel.com/archives/breastfeedin...

Hi Bridgette
I know how you feel. Depression is an illness and can't be treated alone. I take medication but I also rely on my wonderful natropath. She has put me on mega amts of vitamin B as well as magnesium . I was in a huge black hole with no energy and even though i had support i was too exhausted to ask for it. Within 2 days i had heaps more energy and felt sooo much better.
I too felt like leaving my husband and 2 daughters but now i have realised that its up to me to help myself.Go and see a doctor or natropath and try to get some energ y back. Once you start to feel better then you will be able to focus on getting some of your needs met. I have the children every day and often feel frustrated that i dont get time out. i have since put them in daycare one day a week so i can be me. I discussed my "holiday" day with my husband and made it clear that i was not going to do jobs or house work on this day. I use it to wonder the shops or have lunch with friends etc.. Looking forward to my holiday each week helps me to stay focused on the day to day drudery of small children. I am still looking for a hobby or craft but for now am just happy to have less pressure. Hope this has helped
J. (Australia)

I always hear my own mother say that "Now is her time" since all her 4 kids that she raised on her own are grown and out of the house. But for you, in the meantime, since "me time" is a long ways off....are there things you can do with your kids during the day that are productive...like children's groups of some kind? Atleast at those types of functions you can meet other mommies and quite possible make some really good friends who in turn might be able to take some of the pressure off. I know you were only joking about up and leaving them one day but it's still scary to hear...especially since your kids are still young. You going to have to nip this in the bud now before it gets any worse. Just remember your girls love you, and they need their mommy to be strong for them. This hits me close to home somewhat...I know someone who's daughter in law just left her husband and kids with no explanation. It might have had something to do with the fact that her two kids are only 11 months apart, the youngest being just over a year old. Maybe it's still some kind of baby blues, or ppd....I don't know, I really dont' know anything about that stuff....All I know is that it's not the kids fault but now they are the ones, (and the husband too of course) paying the consequences. Good luck, I really hope you find a way to figure this out. Sorry I couldn't be of any help.

There is a longstanding, old remedy for winter blues and gives your hormones a huge boost- I mean the happy ones. Fish oil. Especially this time of year its unbelievable the results and change in my life. I was diagnosed as clinically depressed at a very young age, and except for a 1.5 yr stint in sunny California, haven't experienced relief from negative emotions and fatigue til I started eating lots of healthy fats and taking my daily fish oil. Hormones are made out of fats, and good ones like fish oil (get moleculary distilled, something like Nordic Naturals is a good brand), virgin coconut oil, and nut butters and FULL FAT organic dairy will help your moods thrive. "The Truth About Beauty" by Kat James is a great starting point for understanding all the negative publicity fat gets and why we women need it to stay emotionally balanced and let our natural beauty shine.

I have moved to Amish country from a bigger city, and I am sometimes stuck on my hill in snowy weather with two small children, no family and few friends, a husband who is GONE every other week for 4 days/three nights for his job, and have always suffered from seasonal depression. And with the right diet, it makes an INCREDIBLE difference. The rest of my downright cheerfulness this year I attribute to my spiritual life, but I won't preach that to anyone unless they personally ask and want to know.

B. I envy you most people can't talk about depression or they hide it from others and your the first one that I have seen that just came out and said what you really felt. I have been depressed for 8 years since I have had my son. It is awful when you feel like a prisoner in your own home (trust me I know). Everyday when I wake up I do the mommy duties, then I get myself ready for work and go. On tuesday and Wednesdays I have those days off and the night before I always say I am going to go shopping and clean the house from top to bottom and when the morning comes I end up lying on my couch either in tears or I sleep. I hate that. On my days off all my friends are working while I am home, and Most of my friends don't have kids and the ones that do they are divorced and the mothers of there children have custody of the kids so they go out and I have to stay home with my son. Don't get me wrong I love to be there with him but I need my time too. My parents are a big help when i need a babysitter but I hear about it the next day on how Marcus cryed and how alls he wanted was his mommy. Your right when will it be your time and when will it be my time. I hope that things get better for you, because like they say things can't get any worse (I think they lied when they made that saying up) but any ways if you ever need to talk email me thru mamasource and we can talk ok. Keep a smile on :)