ADD In 3 Yr. Old?

Be careful diagnosing your child because there are so many possible reasons for the behaviors in question. If you feel strongly that there might be an issue, you can certainly get him assessed for ADD, even at 3 but that is as young as they will go. I would give him some time since he is so young. Bright children are often misdiagnosed with ADD, Aspergers, etc.

My daughter is almost 5 and used to hit or push and also used to become overwhelmed by large crowds and still is sensitive to very loud noises. I had her recently tested for sensory integration dysfunction and though the therapist saw small signs here or there, there was nothing clinically significant enough to warrant Occupational Therapy. When she was 3...well frankly that was the worst year by far.

My family also has a history of ADD so I look for that as well but again be careful...don't read about helping your child cope with ADD until there is a confirmed diagnosis. My daughter was assessed through the public preschool system and it was determined that her intellect appeared to be a significant factor in relation to her high energy level which is not indicative of ADHD. She can also answer a question when she appears to not be listening.

I would wait till he's 4...there is such a substantial, emotional growth between 3 and 4 so give him time to mature and do your best to work with him on stressful situations...ways he can express how he's feeling, ways to calm himself down such as counting, taking deep breaths, etc. Just knowing that you're willing to talk with him about these things might give him that extra encouragement he needs to open up to you.

I wish you the best of luck!

I certainly am no expert on ADD but if your son can sit for long periods and play with something then I would question that diagnosis. Your son might just be a sensitive child/person, or maybe he even is gifted. A lot of the characteristics you mention are signs of giftedness. I think the hitting/kicking/pushing might just be his response when he gets overwhelmed and he needs an outlet. Or maybe something has changed at school/home and he is reacting to it. My son is very sensitive and he started acting out at school in response to my husband needing to travel for work. If the teachers were very h*** o* him about this, then he would just get worse, if they reacted in an understanding nature it taught him that they cared and he could calm down more easily. You can say, "I know that you are upset that Daddy is not home tonight. It makes me sad too because I miss him. I can't let you hit people because of it. Let's call Daddy on the phone."

It sounds like you recognize situations where he gets overwhelmed. Try to help in those situations, like sitting near to him and holding him, or having him take a break for a few minutes by walking in another room.

You say that he cannot adjust to change. I am not sure if you mean small changes or big changes. My son also was the same way. I learned to give him advance notice of things. For example, when I would drop him off at preschool, I would tell him that when I picked him up from school then we were going to go to the grocery store. He seemed to need to be able to get used to an idea before he could do it. I could never (and still can't) spring things on him. Even things like going to the doctor. A lot of books tell you not to tell them until right before you go, but that did not work for my son at all. I had to tell him the day before (or even a few days) so that he could accept the idea.

HI Erin,

Many of these symptoms are not necessarily a form of ADD but can be a neurological toxicity. Most consumable items in our homes either cause or exacerbate these type of problems. My youngest was diagnosed with ADHD when she was seven. After I detoxed my home (removed all the synthetic chemicals) her behavior changed almost overnight. Her schoolwork improved greatly and I saw a different child. Her doctor removed the ADHD diagnosis on her next visit.

I was a clean freak and was poisoning her and didn't even know it. Laundry detergent is one of the worst because the residues are absorbed into the skin, thus the bloodstream. My sister recommended a simple solution and our lives changed. Not only was it simple and inexpensive but we never get sick anymore. That was the most extreme change in our lives. Let me know if you want any information. I love sharing!

M.

Hi Erin,

Sensory Processing Disorder(SPD) can often look similar to ADD in small children. There is a great book that you can start with called The Out of Sync Child by Carol Stock Kranowitz. If you find that your child fits some of the things in your book it would be a good idea to have him evaluated by an Occupational Therapist. I am a PT in Early Intervention so I work with lots of kids with sensory issues. If you end up wanting to have him evaluated I can suggest some clinics nearby that would be able to do that. Let me know if I can help you in any other way!

Calm down, mama, he's a normal three year old. It's dangerous to worry so much about something like that because you run the risk of projecting an illness on to him, and God forbid having it treated with mind-altering meds, when he's just a three year old.

It's good that you asked. Be calm. Always assume normal, because most people are.

www.goaskmom.com/ is a website specifically for inattentive type ADHD

Having had a few 3-year olds myself, I have to say your son sounds pretty normal to me! My younger daughter has always been pretty exuberant - like your son, she often seems like she's not paying attention, but is then able to answer questions correctly. She likes puzzles, etc, but other than that is constantly on the go... people are always telling me, oh, she must have ADD. Well, here's what I have to say about that. I have no interest in medicating this child (she is just too funny and interesting the way she is), so pretty much, she just needs to learn how to behave acceptably in public. She's almost 5 now, and is able to sit still and follow directions when necessary. I still wouldn't take her to a fancy restaurant, but then, I think that's true of most kids this age. My husband and I just have to be very, very consistent with discipline. We don't have a ton of rules, but the ones we have, we enforce every...single...time. And she is responding to that! Her teacher at school just told me that my daughter (who is such a little spaz, you have no idea) is one of the most mature children in her class! I almost cried, I was so happy. It has not been easy with her.

The only book I can really recommend is John Rosemond's "Parent Power!" He's a really common-sense child psychologist and his ideas have really helped my husband and I become better parents. We also have printed out a copy of his Bill of Rights for Children and have put them in each child's room, and also on the fridge: http://www.rosemond.com/--RosemondsbrBill-of-Rights-for-C...

Enjoy your little boy! He sounds like a great kid.

Hi Erin,

How much does he like trains? What can he tell you about trains? Does he talk about trains to people when he is not playing with them? Please send me a private message on that, it is important to your question, though it may not seem it like it.

He could be ADHD, but you describe a mulititude of things that if intense enough could be signs of a several nuerological processing issues. You have it a little backward though, the diagnisis now is ADHD-inatentive type (without hyperactivity.) You are probably right on about the inpulse control. You are describing difficulty with transitions, which is an issue that is not necessarily assoiciated with ADHD, but could be. You also decribe some sensory processing issues, which can be part of several issues too. If you are going to read, read about a variety of high functioning issues, including Asperger syndrome. I am not diagnosing, and neither should you, but I would read about both, were I you. Dr, Mel Lavine, and Dr. Russell Barkley are very good resources and have many books, as does Tony Attwood.

If typical dicipline is not working well, by all means, make an appointment with a developmental pediatrician. You will find these at children's hospitals. This kind of doctor will call in everyone he needs to, from geneticists, to OT's, ENT's, pyschological and neurpyschologica testing, all rolled into one report for you. You will miss nothing, and if you have selected the wrong issue to have evaluated, you won't walk out the door with a "no, he does not have ADHD" left wondering what he does have. You need to just tell someone what is going on, and let the expert decided what to evaluate for.

In the mean time, try telling him what you want him to do, and avoid telling him what to stop doing. Instead of "don't hit" say "put your hands in your pockets" it is not as easy as it sounds, but giving him a command that he can do right away (saying don't and letting him figure out what to do instead is A LOT to ask of a three year old) he will be more successful, and success breeds success.

Let me know about the trains.
M.

LOL... you sound like me :D

I'm adhd-c, and it runs (skips, hops, gallops, and stops to look at flowers) all through my family. 3 was when I really started looking at/for symptoms in my kiddo as well.

I can tell ya, you're definitely looking at/for the right things for his age:

- hyperfocus (the intense concentration on things for hours... which most toddlers just *can't* do)

- sensory "schtuff"

- hyperawareness (the appearing not to be paying attention, but able to repeat back what was said / knowing what's going on is a classic add/adhd-i trait... in middle school I could be reading a book but repeat back 20 minutes of not only the lecture my teacher was giving, but also 3 separate conversations my fellow students were whispering)

- giftedness (since *most* adhd types are gifted to profoundly-gifted... just a facet of how our brains absorb, classify, and retain info)

- thriving in *positive* external structure (since we have no internal structure to speak of, we have to create our structure externally... BUT we react very very badly to negative reinforcement. Most people learn to avoid negative reinforcement, but adhd types practically can't since we're near eidetic for emotional memory/ physical sensation... we focus on the punishment instead of the action that lead to the punishment BUT instead we types learn to seek positive reinforcement and just keep doing things that get us those positive responses... aka punishments make the problem worse and worse and worse, but praising what we do right/ giving us the right options nearly eradicates "bad" behaviors, because we keep doing the "right" one for the carrot)

<grinning> So yeah... you're definitely looking for the right things (aka what's not age appropriate). Which is so cool! Most people who aren't adhd themselves don't know to look for those things!!! ((I'm sorry, just that you know enough about the way our brains work to look for the right things is just exciting to me:))

Unfortunately, you won't be able to get a "yup" Dx for a few more years... but 3 is when my own kiddo started pinging on my radar as "probable". It wasn't until he was 6/7 that I was able to go "yup".

The BEST resources I can give you are:

- Hoagies Gifted (since, like I said, most adhd kids are gifted)
http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/ Be sure to read "Is it a Cheetah?" (the site is SO huge... I'll give you the link to the article) http://www.stephanietolan.com/is_it_a_cheetah.htm

-Additude magazine
http://www.additudemag.com/

&

-"You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?!?" by Kate Kelly & Peggy Ramundo. It's nominally about adhd adults, which is the BEST way (IMHO) for non-adhd adults to learn about adhd, because one is able to see the full pattern instead of just the childhood "piece" of it. For ME at least, being able to see the whole picture lets me deal with those individuak pieces best... the "Ahhhhh...okay... do this, get that". I first read it about 12 years ago (and my hard won impulse control -and love of books- went out the window when I actually THREW the book across the room and broke down in tears (::blush:: more than once) out of frustration, wishing my parents could have read it when I was a child or teen.

Here's also (in a nutshell) the foundation of our parenting our adhd kiddo:

- patterns patterns patterns = habit (getting "x" into a habit means it's 90% likely to happen... from discipline, to beditime, to where shoes go). This is huge with transitions. Having there be a "comforting" ritual/pattern that happens between every transition means we can travel all over and our foundation comes with us.

- Our 4 basic rules
1) If you throw a fit, you don't get what you want

2) When is it okay to hit? (aka hurt someone; hit/kick/bite/etc.) When you're defending yourself, defending someone else, or learning how to fight.

3) Timeouts aren't punishments, but a time to cool off and let you mind get ahead of your emotions. ((EVERYONE in our house goes on timeouts (adhd household, we're emotionally volatile). If you send yourself, you can come off whenever you wish. If you get sent you have to fulfill a few basic things before coming off.
- calm down (timeouts can easily last between 5-30 minutes just for the calming down part, the 1 minute per year of age is useless with us)
- be able to say WHY you were on time out (aka what happened)
- be able to come up with ideas of WHAT WOULD BE BETTER to do next time
- be willing to "put a thing right" to the best of your ability (sometimes things can't be put right, but being willing to do your best to... whether that's apologizing, fixing something broken, or merely trying your best to do the 'right thing' next time... is huge.)

4) Be kind. Be brave. Laugh whenever you can. Love as much as you can.

All my best,
R