8 Months This Week and Still Not Sleeping Through the Night!

Updated on June 16, 2011
N.P. asks from Long Beach, CA
21 answers

We put our daughter down for bed after food/bath/bottle between 6 and 7pm nightly. She wakes up at 12:30am and again between 4:30 and 5:30am. The last two nights she's been up at 2:30am too (ugh). I am still feeding her a bottle at that 12:30am wake up time and I'm curious if I shouldn't at this point? Our pediatrician says she should be in her crib for 12 hours ... I'm exhausted and just curious what an 8 month's nighttime sleep schedule looks like for others. Oh what I would do for a full night's rest!!

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Thanks to everyone for all your feedback! I truly appreciate it. Great information and lots to consider (and read!)

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A.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Try reading dr ferber's book. It is helpful in explaining every detail of what goes on to hinder a baby's sleep. I woke up three times a night till my son was 11months old and I finally was willing to follow the advice in the book...mainly, CIO method, and understanding with many feedings and then wet diapers from that how are they supposed to sleep well? Read the book, explains it much better than I can.

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X.M.

answers from St. Louis on

i would probably try not feeding her. She is probably not crying out of hungry and if you feed her she will get use to feeding at that time and it will be harder to get her to stop. just try going in and soothing her a litttle bit. Let her cry a little then go back in...it might take a few nights and LOTS of patience but it will work. :)

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S.J.

answers from St. Louis on

It drives me absolutely nuts that pediatricians tell moms that "baby should be sleeping at least 8-10 hours by now", or, as in your case "pediatrician says she should be in her crib for 12 hours". Each baby is different. Would you want to be in a crib for 12 straight hours, hungry, lonely and with a wet diaper and possibly aching teeth?

Her schedule sounds perfectly normal. I am on baby number three (almost 8 months old as well), and his schedule is as follows:

-bath about 7:30 pm - nurse if he wants and then bed around 8pm
-up to nurse around midnight or 2 am ish, depending on when he gets hungry (this does not happen every night. Sometimes he will sleep straight through).
-back to bed and then up again about 5:30 am, sometimes 6 or 6:30.

Again, remember, each baby is different. My first slept through the night for the most part around 9 months, and second baby slept through the night around 5 months. I didn't do anything differently with each baby.

Don't let other people, even your doc, set you up for unrealistic expectations. Your baby's schedule sounds perfect for her. Not so perfect for you because you are exhausted - trust me, I do get that. But I promise, there will be a time she sleeps for 12 hours. Just not now.

As others have suggested, you could try to keep her up a little later. That never worked for us. Our baby wants to sleep when he is ready. We are on their schedule. If we tried to "keep him up" he would be fussy, or would simply fall asleep despite our efforts. And, he didn't wake any later the next morning simply because he went to sleep a little later. But, it may for work for you, give it a try.

If your baby wakes and wants to eat, absolutely you should feed her. If she finishes a 9 oz bottle it is clear she was hungry. If she simply feeds for a few minutes then falls back to sleep, it is likely she just wanted to be held/pacified. Play it by ear and see what works.

Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful
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K.:.

answers from Phoenix on

It's completely normal. Of course the posters who have perfect sleepers will agree with your ped. The posters with frequent wakers will side with you. My DD slept well, but I still think your ped is wrong. Your pediatrician sounds very unrealistic & inflexible, honestly. You'd think that someone trained to work with kids would know that they are not "one size fits all". Not all babies are created equal & not all sleep through the night. Some still wake at night, even when they're toddlers/preschoolers/big kids. Do what you feel is right - I most certainly wouldn't be denying my child a bottle if they seemed hungry. If your pediatrician is inflexible & doesn't seem to be working with you, I would find another one, personally.

3 moms found this helpful
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L.A.

answers from New York on

our son is now 8 months too, as of yesterday in fact. He has been sleeping through the night since 3.5 months. By through the night, I mean that he slept from 8:30 to 6:30 am, we would wake him for a quick feed at 10, and he would wake at 4am for a quick feed. By 4 months, he would sleep at 8:30 - 6:30, but we would wake him to feed him at 10pm. At 6 months, he started sleeping at 9pm, and at 8 months, is asleep at 8:30/9pm and sleeps through until 6:30 am. We used the Ferber method. It worked well for us.

If anything, initially, we were guilty of waking him for a feed b/f we went to bed because we were both back to work. He might have been able to go without the 10pm feed much earlier, but we didn't trust that he could.

Every baby is different, it could be that we are just blessed with a good sleeper. If you do try Ferber, be ready to commit to seeing it through because doing it by half measures can result in establishing some new, bad sleep habits.

Also, are you using "nighttime" diapers? Just before we went on vacation, our little one, was drinking more oz, and soaking through at night. We bought nighttime diapers, he stayed dry till morning, and was content to play in his crib for 10-15 min after waking up.

BTW - be prepared for this sort of mama insomnia too. The first couple nights that baby didn't wake up, I woke up nonetheless because I was so accustomed to doing so. Go figure.

2 moms found this helpful

P.M.

answers from Tampa on

Between the early bedtime and even if she's formula fed - they STILL have growth spurts where they need to eat and eat and eat constantly for like a week or two. Don't forget - the first year is the MOST a human being will grow the most in the shortest time span EVER.

If she's hungry, do not refuse to give her food. If she needs love, comfort and safety - do not deny her that either. She's a baby, not a super miniature toy adult.

I was a single Mom for my daughter first 3 years... we co-slept and never had any sleep deprivation. If anything - her making be be there to help her fall asleep ensured *I* got enough sleep too. It was a bit frustrating... because I"d work all day, go to school, breastfeed and I felt like that was all my life was. I had no one else to help me put her to sleep, to play with her so I could study or clean, etc... but co-sleeping was the 2nd best choice I made for my child. Breastfeeding was the first best choice I made.

2 moms found this helpful

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

She doens't need that feed overnight anymore. She hasn't for awhile.

Try giving her the paci instead and see if that's enough. But I'm guessing that you're going to have to do some sort of sleep training, which will probably invovle letting her cry a bit.

We did CIO with our second at 4mos and now she sleeps throught growth spurts, teething, colds....all of it. It's awesome! But it took 2 tough nights of crying to get there (as in close the door, and don't go back until morning!).
From 4mos on - we put her down at 6:30-7, and she sleeps until 5:30-6 the next day. Both of my kids are early risers, unfrotunately. But that's another story.

Good luck to you!

2 moms found this helpful

D.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Wonder if 6 or 7:30 is too early. Try keeping her up a little bit later. What about feeding her some cereal or something that will keep her full through the night. I also liked to use the calming bath and lotion. It helped sometimes. Hang in there! This milestone will pass, and move you on to other.

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K.F.

answers from Cleveland on

My daughter is 8 months old and sleeps 6-7pm until 5:30-7am. I agree with everything MandA M said!!! Both of my kids slept through the night early on, their pediatrician told me once they are 4 months they don't need a middle of the night feeding anymore. They are either waking up out of habit or routine of being fed, teething, or they are trying to master a new skill that is waking them up out of their sleep (rolling over, sitting up, crawling, walking..) I know all little ones are different, but for both of my kids it seems the later put them to bed the earlier they wake up but it's worth a try since you are so exhausted. Good luck!

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B.B.

answers from Missoula on

My son, now 3 1/2, was sleeping 11-12 hours straight through the night by about 6 months, but that didn't just happen on its own, Good sleep habits are a skill that we are not born with, and we had to help him learn how to fall asleep and stay asleep. Now we know that if he wakes up at night he will go back to sleep on his own, and if he cries for us there is a reason for it and not just "I'm awake and don't know what to do."
You have gotten a lot of responses that indicate that this is a "normal" schedule and that you should just remind yourself that she'll sleep through the night eventually. I completely disagree. Your daughter may start sleeping through the night tomorrow, or it could take months or even years for her to do it. Just because some kids are naturally better sleepers than others does not mean that they don't all need plenty of good, uninterrupted sleep each night. Some of them just need more help figuring out how to get that sleep. I don't believe that an 8 month old knows what she needs and that you should just follow her lead and let her determine the nighttime schedule. Of course you are exhausted, you haven't slept through the night in months, I'm guessing. Think about that for a moment. You haven't had uninterrupted sleep and you feel the effects of it. Why then do we assume that when our young children are waking multiple times each night it is better to just let them continue that pattern than to help them to learn to sleep through? Does being up repeatedly at night not exhaust our kids too? A good night's sleep is in everyone's best interest and you may have to teach her how to get it. It is a bit of work, but so worth it.
There are some great books out there that can help your family get the rest you all need, Dr. Ferber's book for one, and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weisbluth (sp?) are good places to start. Feel free to PM me if you have questions, I can let you know how we went about gradually eliminating night time feedings and helped out son learn to sleep through the night, both in less than 2 weeks.
Good luck!!

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J.K.

answers from Honolulu on

If you think about it, even as adults we would continuously get hungry too if we had a meal every night at the same time. Our bodies are like clock work....once it gets use to being fed at the same time every night it becomes a habit. My 1st daughter did this until 9 months until I finally got too tired of it. My doctor told me to gradually give less and less formula in the bottle but keep using the same amount of water. Eventually, she didn't want to wake up for just water and she wasn't hungry in the midnight hours. The first night I did it, i think I tricked her with four oz water and just one scoop of formula, then did less and less formula. I forget how long it took but it wasn't long. Once she started sleeping through the night I never gave a bottle again, unless I knew she was absolutely starving but I think that only happened once. At that point, you just make sure you dont do it again the 2 nd night to make it a habit all over again. Going in to sooth them without picking them up has always been the best long term solution for me. Good luck, it's tough but so worth the sleep....for baby & yourself!

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

My son woke up about 6 x a night at that age. He got better and woke up only about 2-3x as he got older. But he never slept through the night till he was about 2 and a half. Our daughter is 20 months and she is up 1x every night. She is showing no signs of changing but who knows. With our son we tried EVERYTHING. Even CIO did not work with him. I think every child is different and some children do not sleep through the night. I'm not saying this will be your child but it is something to keep in mind.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Her schedule seems perfectly normal. My daughter woke up for feedings every night at about 1:00 am and 5:00 am until she was about a year old. Then she slept first through the 5:00 feeding and then both by 13 months.

If I was feeling tired, I just went to bed earlier.

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K.B.

answers from Dallas on

I would suggest reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It helped us get our 8 month old on a good sleep schedule. She still wakes once per night for a bottle , but due to stomach issues she still can't tolerate solid foods so I know when she wakes she is truly hungry. I was going crazy from sleep deprivation and this book truly helped. Good luck!

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C.P.

answers from San Diego on

my son didn't sleep through the night until he was 14 months old. i'm so sorry you are exhausted!

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M.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your daughter is developmentally normal. Most children don't reliably sleep through the night until their 2nd year. It's a developmental milestone just like walking and talking.

Right now, your daughter has needs. She is not physically capable of going 8 hour between eating, let alone 12! She's growing and changing so much right now. Not only does she still need to eat every few hours still, but she needs comfort. For babies, this isn't a desire. It's a real physical need. Not meeting these needs for food and comfort is a dangerous path to take. I fear your physician's advice is setting your daughter up for a potential failure to thrive diagnosis.

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A.G.

answers from Albuquerque on

My twins are 10months this week, and they dont sleep thru the night. My kiddos do nap during the day and they go to bed around 7 and are usually up anytime between 1030-12 for milk and than they are asleep until 630ish. My pediatrician said that the schedule my kiddos were keeping was perfectly normal and they were getting enough sleep ( even though I'm not!). What time does you daughter get up for the day? Maybe try putting her to bed a little later or waking her a little earlier. Good luck

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

Totally normal. Each child is different. My 4.5 year old often wakes at night (2-3 times a week). My son - sleeps.... You can try not feeding her and just rubbing her back and soothing her - music etc. But it may not work. Might just be her schedule. It's unfortunately a game of trial and error - and each child is different. SOMEDAY you will sleep again ... I promise.

C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I agree that 6-7 is too early for her to go to bed 'all night'. I would think maybe if you could keep her up until 8pm, then maybe she'd sleep until 230 and then not wake up again until 530. I think by this age, you should be able to do 1 bottle per night...but all kids are different. Have you tried just giving her binky or rubbing her back or rocking her instead of feeding her? She may just be used to it, too!

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C.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Oh, it depends on the kid! My 3 year old still wakes up once each night most nights because he is thirsty. Of course, I sleep with a cup of water by my bed because I used to get nightmares when I got thirsty in the middle of the night, so I can relate. His brother was way past that at that age. At 6, he keeps a cup of water next to the bed like Mom. I think all the advice is great, though keep in mind my 3 year old is the same guy who was soo much better with his sleeping when he was 8 months. :)

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M.P.

answers from Raleigh on

I have a 9mo old baby girl. She pretty much goes down at 7 PM and sleeps until 6:30 AM. She takes 2 naps a day, each about 1 1/2 hours each. She eats big dinner and a bottle before bed, but hasn't woken for feedings for over 3-4 months now. How does the daytime sleep go for your daughter? Sometimes if babies don't get good daytime sleep, their nighttime sleep is erratic. Make sure her naps are consistent, if you don't already.
Also, you can go to her at night when she cries, but my suggestion is to not pick her up. Try to get her back to sleep by rubbing her back or any other non-verbal type of soothing, like shhhing. Do this for a few minutes, and leave the room. If she knows you are going to come to her and hold her, she will continue to wake and expect you. You might have to deal with a little crying, but at this age, she should be able to self-soothe back to sleep. Hope this helps.

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