8 Month Old with Temper Tantrums

At eight months, it's definitely time to start saying no. She doesn't necessarily understand what she's doing, but she can start to learn. Like many others have said, distraction is a good thing, but won't always work. The reason she's having the tantrums, though, is that she's always gotten her way up until this point. You shouldn't be mean, but it's definitely time to be firm. Love doesn't mean giving her what she always wants. Love sets boundries. You can't spoil her with love, no, but it's time she knows that you're the one who sets the rules. You can do this. Good luck to you!

I have to agree about parenting classes. I am 38, had my first child at 33 and I took them.

First, be careful what you give your child. at 8 month old, your child should not have scissors at all.

And even a spool of thread is to small. Anything that will pass through a toilet paper tube roll is to small for a child that young.

second, it is okay to say no to a child at 8 mos, yes they don't do it knowingly, but she's getting upset cause she isn't used to hearing the word "no" get her used to it now.

you can't spoil a child at 8 mos, but be sure to be careful what you let her play with.

Good luck
D.

Seriously...? Keep dangerous things where she can't get them, make your home child friendly, and redirect, only use no for serious offenses.

Ok, first things first.

Your baby is NOT deliberately defying you or doing ANYTHING which requires 'discipline'.

She's an infant, a very YOUNG infant. You do not have to discipline or punish her. She doesn't understand 'no'. If you don't want her to have something, take it away while saying "not for baby" and quickly distract her with something else. It should be a game, not harsh or punitive.

You cannot spoil this baby, and you CANNOT discipline or 'control' her temper, nor should you try in any way. THAT would be extremely harmful.

Enjoy your baby. She's still a very tiny baby. She's incapable of being 'bad'. She's learning and exploring her world. Keep her safe and encourage her explorations. Do not try to discipline her at this juncture.

I think it's totally reasonable to say "no." There are things she can't have or can't do. Doesn't mean you "punish" her for trying to do them, but there's no harm in the word no.

Kids at this age can be (but aren't always) distractable. So you say "no, you can't have the thread," hide it away somewhere and say "oh! look at this fun toy!" and that can help divert the tantrum. But she might be going through a growth spurt, or teething, or just getting a little more aware of the world. She'll likely go through phases where she's more and less difficult, so don't beat yourself up. Good luck!

The best thing is to distract your daughter when she starts to get upset, at this age they are easily distracted (doesn't work when they're older!) She will want to play with everything she sees which can't be avoided. You should try to keep most things that she shouldn't have out of her reach, for me that meant being a lot neater with my house. You can also leave some household items within her reach that are safe to play with so she is still exploring her environment. When I was trying to cook or something I would leave tupperware on the floor for my daughter to play with (not sure if yours is crawling yet). Its not bad to say no in a firm serious voice as long as its not an angry voice, that tends to escalate a tantrum. Just try to keep your cool and remember, every child has tantrums, and it will get better!

I agree with Joanna. At 8 months, she is not willfully throwing a tantrum. With any child, it's better to tell them what they CAN do rather than what they can't do. Give baby a rattle or teething ring and make sure she has nothing that is dangerous for a baby to hold (or chew on - no choking hazards). They go through stages when they want what they want when they want it and have no idea what it is. Sometimes a rock in the rocking chair with Mommy singing is just what everyone needs.

I'm not a big fan of saying "no" even to my 3-year-old but we started out saying, "Can I have this? Thank you!" when we had to take something from him. We still do this even if we have to forcibly remove it from his hands (though he usually says "Sure. You're welcome." at this point). I think it gives him a feeling of control and even small people need to feel they have some control over their own lives. We use a lot of "please" and "thank yous" and it seems to be very effective both with our 7-month-old and toddler. We do have to raise our voices occasionally and even threaten a swat (with the toddler, not the baby) occasionally but it works for us.

Good luck. I'm sure you'll find a balance that works for you!

S. - Try to make sure that when you take things away from her you always give her a safe something that is equally or more appealing to a baby. You could have a stash of things that she doesn't see very often to use as decoys and distractions.

Sweety, redefine what you think being a good mom is all about. A good mom says no a lot. It's your job to let her know good from bad - she won't know that instinctively. One of the hardestthings you'll have to do as a young mom is to fight the urge to want to be your daughter's friend. She will have plenty of friends but only you can be her mom. Saying no is sometimes very hard and she will scream and pout (it gets harder as they get older) but your job as a mom is to teach her to be a responsible and caring individual. Often, the best thing for yourchildren is NOT the thing that makes them happy. A great example is how we feed our kids. they would choose Sweets all day long, but we know that they need a balanced diet to grow healthy and strong. You are the adult. Even at 8 months she's learning "if I throw a fit, I get my way". Save yourself some heartache later and provide her with loving and firm structure and discipline now. Good luck sweet thing!

You can say No all the time (she is getting to an age where she will get it) but you will be saying it an awful lot over the next several months. It's not really temper tantrums. At that age she cannot communicate her displeasure any other way so of course she reacts like that.

I found it easier to make a very "yes" environment for my DD. My home was very baby proofed. When I was in other people's homes or wherever, I was right on top of her. It's much easier to limit the amount of times you need to say No. She simply should not have access to scissors and thread. Problem solved. Save the "No" and "Danger" for the oven and stuff like that. When DD did manage to access cords or whatever we simply said "not for babies" and didn't make a big deal about it and gave her something equally interesting and safe. Believe me, they figure out the meaning of No whether you spend your entire day saying it or not and if you save "no" for the big stuff they are less likely to tune it out when they hit the toddler stage.

For parenting help generally, you may want to pick up a copy of the Dr Sears Baby Book. It goes through 2, I think. It is really helpful to know what is normal for each age, especially when thinking about discipline and what battles to fight. I also think that they go through different stages of tenaciousness. So she is being really strong willed about this stuff right now, but in a few weeks she might be more mellow about things (and then back to cranky again!). They can change quickly. Good luck!

She is only 8 months old, why does she have scissors in the first place? Have you talked to your doctor? Maybe they can shed some light. Good luck!

S.,

She is having temper tantrums with you because she knows she can get away with it. You will need to stop giving in. The sooner the better - for both of you. Your right in the fact that you can't spoil a baby when it comes to love, hugs, kisses and such but when it comes to their safely we are talking a whole other ball game. If she gets into something dangerous, take the item away and say that is dangerous and not for babies. Don't worry if she cried or gets upset. She will have to learn something are not for her. As for other times she again will learn that she will not always get her way. Unfortunately this is life. It doesn't mean you love her any less but that she can't have or do what she wants at that moment.
My daughter started throwing temper tantrums just after she started walking. She goes into downward dog (yoga) and bangs her head on the floor. She even gets buises from it. I've spoken to the doctor about it and she said not to give in. Simply throw her a pillow and walk away. You won't control them and if you pay attention to her she will only make it last longer. As long as your daughter can't fall off the changing table or something of that nature. Let her cry out her temper tantrum and she will learn she isn't going to always get her way especially when it comes to her safety.
One of my mom friends tells her daughter that her job as a mom is to keep her daughter safe. It's true in more ways then just one. Love your daughter but make her safety a top priority.

Good luck,
L. M

S.,

Please check out this website. I am going to suggest parenting classes for you and your hubby. It can only make you a better mom. Your so young with huge responsibilities. Or even a mommy and me group will be so helpful for you. Good luck. But check out the website I have looked up for you.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_your-8-month-olds-development...

D.

How in the world does a 8 month old get a hold of scissors...

You still have a baby she is not misbehaving. She is curious and exploring. It is your job to keep her safe. Distract and redirect. It is easy at this age but eventually she will catch on and you will need to use other methods. As you can see with other posters there are differing opinions on when and how to use "No" but you are not even there yet. Replace the scissors (how did she get them anyway?) with a toy. Every baby is different and you need to learn her temperment and work with it. Good luck.