8 Month Old Wakes up Every Night

Hi S.,

At your child's age, seperation anxiety can be a factor. My son started waking like crazy around 17 months, I mentioned it to the pediatrician and she said that at around 9 and 18 months, there are two surges of seperation anxiety. Bed sharing did the trick for us but if that is not your thing, I would suggest giving him the extra comfort until the wave passes, and then revisist the idea of sleep training. I could never do cry it out, there are methods in between. I loved the "sleep lady" book, "Good Night, Sleep Tight" http://www.sleeplady.com/, and there is also "the no cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth Pantly, and the Baby Whisperer books (I don't like them for everything, but I found her suggestions about sleep teaching to be very helpful!). Your child might be too young for the cry it out method (Ferber). I would highly recommend you read up on it first, since it is meant to be done very methodically. If you try it while your son is feeling extra anxious, it could really backfire.

Some kids just do not have the temperament, and for them it will always backfire.

It's frustrating and exhausting, but with my spirited son, the gradual and emotionally responsive methods paid off in the long run. It's really a fine line between building trust and letting your child know you are there on the one hand, and setting rules that are very much in the child's best interest.

Doctors will always suggest the cry it out since they know how important consilidated sleep is. I agree, I just think there are kinder ways.

All the best!
C.

Girl welcome to the club. At this point, you have to "sleep train" him and its a matter of what method you pick to do so that will dictate how long you let him cry. Obviously Ferberizing you let him cry as long as it takes him to get to sleep. And it may be hours for the first couple of nights. And I mean HOURS. But then he'll sleep like a rock and forget you did it. You can go pat him every couple of minutes if you are more comfortable with that but for some babies it makes it harder. If you really feel bad about the crying, I recommened the book Good Night Sleep Tight, by the "sleep lady". You dont' have to read the whole thing, only the intro and then the chapter that applies to your age. It was on the TV when my 3 yr old was born and it worked. I am going through it now w/my 7 mo old and its tough, she is in our room so I haven't really started it yet out of laziness but am going to start next week. You can also try the book Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy Child (or something like that) Someone gave that to me and it is also good..it gives you different options/methods of training and also goes by age. Good luck and when you are up in the middle of the night, know you are not alone! It sucks!

Beware of "shoulds" in parenting. Having a child who sleeps through the night does not mean you're a better parent than someone else. Most kids wake at night, most of them several times, until a year or 18 months. Lots of folks advocate "Cry it out" but that doesn't mean it's the best option - just the easiest (for the parent). Being a parent means being a parent 24hrs a day. My kid didn't routinely sleep through the night until 20 months, so I'm not being harsh, just realistic. He's only 8 months, and if you've had some full nights already you should congratulate yourself. They're ever evolving creatures. Best of luck.

I don't think that's abnormal. My daughter woke up every night until about a year of age. I did what was right for us, and gave her a bottle. I made sure to jump up and give it right when I heard her, and didn't let it get to the point of her being too awake. I didn't turn on any lights, just had the night light, and she slept through the feeding. Gradually over the past few months, her waking got later and later, and now she wakes at like 5am for a bottle, but still goes back to sleep until about 8, which I consider to be her morning nap. I know so many people tell you not to do this, but I really don't think it caused her any harm, and I always feel like I wake up thirsty during the night, and turn to my husband for a hug, what's wrong with that?

Could it be teething pain? I would let him cry a bit and sometimes they eventually go back to sleep. If it is continuous and doesnt stop after 10 minutes, check to see of his diaper is really full..this could wake him up too. But if you have to change the diaper, don't turn the light on because this will cause him to wake up even more and you won't be able to get him back to sleep at all. If the diaper is not full (you can check it in the crib) then gently rub his back in a circular motion to realx him. Many books will tell you not to pick him up but I am guilty of doing this occasionally so I cannot tell you otherwise

let em know what works for you. my son can sleep up to 6 hrs without waking but then he began teething so we are back to 2-3 wakings per night. and lately he is ready for teh day at 430am.

we tried teh cry method to no avail! he cried for 2 hours and never slept. i did go in and soothe him without picking him up out of crib. but he stood up, did not lay down and screamed for a long long time!! sigh. is he not tired?