8 1/2 Yr. Old Daughter Wetting the Bed Regularly for the Last Year or So

Updated on June 14, 2008
M.A. asks from Temperance, MI
34 answers

Just wondering if anyone else has this problem. My oldest daughter is now 8.5 and was completely potting trained by 2.5 years old. She would very occasionaly have an accident, like once every 3-4 months. Then, about a year to year and a half ago, she began wetting the bed like a few time a week. At first I thought maybe it was just something that would run it's course, but it hasn't stopped. It is very fraustrated as the parent and I know it really bothers her also. At a recent doctors appointment, they did give me a referal to a uroligist and we will be doing that just to make sure there is know abnormality or actual problem with her bladder, because she does have to go quite a bit too. I am looking for any kind of input or suggestions. I don't know whatelse to do, and if there is not an actual problem, then do I just wait till it's over? hoping that it will be someday? Also I have not ever had her where those goodnites (big kid's pull-ups) because I don't want her to think that it's OK and not even try to wake up and go, but I am really sick of washing sheets every other night for the last year, and I am pretty sure she doesn't want to be doing this and would still try to get up if she can. What is your though on justing them and saving everyone a lot of trouble. Oh and she always says that she has a dream that she is on the toilet and then she just goes. I also have alarms set at midnight, I try and get her up when I can to take her in the middle of the night, but she is a very sound sleeper and when I do get her up, it's like she just sleep walks through the whole thing.

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J.B.

answers from Grand Rapids on

This sounds weird, but try a nasal spray...I don't think it matters what kind, and give it before bed. I used to work in a home for Emotionally impaired kids and this was occasionally a problem. The spray works! It is something to do with the Pituary gland. Worth a try.
Also, you could set the alarm for her and have her get up and go in the night. Also limit what she drinks and how much at night.

D.P.

answers from Detroit on

My nephew had that same problem until he was about 11. he was also a deep sleeper. I think to put him on some DDAVP nose sprays.

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M.M.

answers from Detroit on

I wouldnt worry - my daughter wore nighttime underwear (pull ups!!) until almost 11. just dont make a big deal about it. :)

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C.R.

answers from Detroit on

I second the chiropracter comment. I know a few kids it has worked wonders for!! When you call though, make sure you are specific about what your needs are for her and make sure they're familiar with all the types of treatments necessary.

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E.D.

answers from Detroit on

My son had "accidents" until he was 9 years old. He would actually stand up and do it on my carpet in his room. The smell got so bad that I had to eventually tear out the carpet. He was very embarassed by it, as I'm sure your daughter is too. There was nothing I could do. I would never put him in pull ups and humiliate him like that. There was nothing I could do except wait it out. He eventually stopped. As far as your daughter being examined for any urological problems, I think it is a good idea. Check for diabetes as well. Having to go a lot is a symptom.

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J.R.

answers from Detroit on

My Niece had this problem as well. She was a very sound sleeper too. It definiatly could be something worse though, because it only started at 6.5years. The only suggestion that I would make is to contact this Specialist. My children currently go to him for urinary reflux. His name is Dr. Cass in Troy off Livernios. He is the Top Pediatric Urologist at RO Beaumont. He's excellent! Good Luck.

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C.E.

answers from Detroit on

When I brought this up to the doctor about my son, the one thing she stressed more than the rest is DO NOT WAKE THEM UP AT NIGHT! What this does to a sound sleeper is tell their body thay it is ok not to wake up all the way to go to the bathroom. I had started an afternoon job and my kids were going at a friends house till I got home and we were then waking them up at 10-10:30 (once they were sound asleep) to go home. They both were more catatonic and never really woke up. The dreams are her body trying to get her to wake up.

Why not the pull ups? She is 8 years old, she probably knows the differance and if you realize it or not she is probably more humiliated by being wet, because she "knows it's wrong". It does something to their self esteem when they can't wake up dry, at least in my opinion. My son started lying to his step-mother and father about wetting the bed because she freaked out on him and yelled about it the one weekend. He is definatly embarassed by it and the Good Nights help him to feel better because accidents are private not the whole household's business.

Take her to the doctor to make sure there is nothing wrong then go buy a package of Good Nights pants.

Good luck hopefully it is just a developmental mile stone and nothing serious.

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B.P.

answers from Kalamazoo on

My son had bed wetting issues too until he was 9 and I have two younger ones that still wet the bed as well. I feel your pain on the laundry. My son wore pullups most of the time because he never really got to the point where he was consistently dry and I couldn't deal with the laundry issues. My daughter, like yours, was potty trained and dry at night since she was about 2 1/2 so she has worn underwear to bed since then. Although she has had times where she has been wet, (usually related to being short on sleep or sports practices in the evening where she has been drinking a lot) I have not made her go back to pullups. So you need to do whatever works...if it is too much of an issue you may need to have her wear them and explain to her why. It is no fault of hers - of course she would not do it if she could help it. To maintain my sanity, these are some things I have done:
- make sure they get enough sleep (lack of sleep contributes to sleeping harder although they also are lighter sleepers as they get older)
- limit drinks for a few hours before bedtime
- if I think there is a good chance they will wet the bed because of a late night, lots of drinks, etc, I will take them to the bathroom before I go to bed. It's hard with deep sleepers especially when they weigh close to 100 lbs! I don't get up during the night unless they come to me because I need my sleep or I get really cranky:)
If these things don't seem to help and the doctors don't find anything, then it is probably due to the big changes going on at home and it will take time for things to even out and/or her body to finally get the hang of waking up to go.
P.S. Don't be surprised if she at some point sleepwalks when she needs to go to the bathroom - just get her there right away! I saw this as a step in the right direction.

Best Wishes!

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T.K.

answers from Detroit on

This happened to me as a child. For me it was a stressful change my family was going through, combined with deep sleeping (I also would have very real dreams where I was on the toilet) Eventually, I made sure to ask myself every time I saw a toilet (in my dream or for "real") if it was real, and if I needed to get up and go to the bathroom. Sometimes doing that in my dream helped me to realize it was a dream and eventually, seeing a toilet in my dream was a trigger to wake up and go. I think it's fairly common, especially in kids around that age. I wouldn't worry about it too much, but do suggest to your daughter that she try giving herself some dream suggestions in addition to the other things, it might help her get back on track a little quicker. :)

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C.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

M.,

You are not alone. I just went through this with my 6 1/2 year old son. He was potty trained at 3 and hadn't had a problrm wetting the bed until a few months ago. I took him to the doctor to rule out a medical condition - it sounds like you're doing the same. The doctor and my husband and I came to the conclusion that he's growing rapidly and his bladder hasn't caught up yet. He is a very sound sleeper, too - just like me. I also remember having vivid dreams that I was on the toilet and woke myself up in a wet bed (this was up until I was about 12 or so). Setting the alarm at midnight is a good thing to help her wake up and go. It's important to not yell at your daughter or make her feel bad about it. Obviously she has no control over it right now. I found a website "The Bedwetting Store" to get some pads to put on the bed so I don't have to wash all the sheets - just wash the pad when it's wet. That has cut down on all the laundry and frustration. Make sure you celebrate and acknowledge all the dry mornings. That's very important. Good Luck!

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J.H.

answers from Detroit on

Hi M., I work for a PR firm who used to have the Enuresis Treatment Center as a client. Bed wetting is more of a deep sleep disorder than anything else. They are located in Farmington Hills, why don't you google them and find out more on them and see if that's not the problem.

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N.W.

answers from Detroit on

The frequent urinate can be a sign of diabetes. Has her doctor checked that?

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C.H.

answers from Detroit on

Hi,
I would recommend following up with the urologist. I had these same symptoms starting when I was about 4, and it was determined that I had a chronic bladder infection. I was followed by a urologist, and was treated with antibiotics and 2 surgeries. I outgrew it around the age of 12.
C. B.

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S.C.

answers from Lansing on

My son wet the bed until he was about 13 years old. We tried everything, bed alarms, waking him in the night even medication, he finally outgrew it on his own. Your daughters situation is different in that she has reverted which suggests something may be stressing her. If you haven't done so yet you might try having a long talk to see if something in her life is different that is causing this problem. Until it resolves itself you may as well use the training pants for night time. It causes much less stress for both of you in having to constantly wash bedding and humiliation for her. My son wore them right up until we were sure he was through with the bedwetting. As long as you and other family members are sensitive about her feelings and keep it the private matter that it is you should take advantage of the products that are available for just such circumstances.

S.

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E.G.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter was 10 when she finally stopped wetting the bed. She was also a very deep sleeper. It turns out it was a hereditary problem that her dad, grandfather, and aunt on her dad's side of the family had. She would wear "night" pants (good nites) every night. When she was 3 1/2, she was potty trained during the day. Her problem was being a deep sleeper. She just finally outgrew it. I KNOW it seems like forever, but it's faster/cleaner to just do the good nites. I hated doing the bedding too!
Good luck.
E.

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K.W.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Before you waste your money with the uroligist, go to a chiropractor! It could be as simple as a misalignment that is placing pressure on her bladder.

I wet the bed until I was 12. After trying every trick in the book my mom finally brought me to the chiropractor. He discovered my pelvic bone was puting pressure on my bladder while lying down. We saw results instantly within one or two visits. I completely stopped wetting the bed. I HIGHLY suggest at least trying the chiropractor. It could save you thousands of dollars in the end.

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L.D.

answers from Detroit on

I also have a 9 year old that wets the bed. He was potty trained by the time he was 2 1/2.
He does wear goodnight because it's so hard to wake it up, he doesn't even realize he has to go. So it's a common problem. The urine alarm won't work for him, so I took him to see Dr. Sawni, Southfield and she tried to hypnotize him but he's still having the problem.
With summer we will try to visit her a couple of times this summer.
Good luck, Let me know if anything works for you

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L.C.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Dear M. A.,

Did a tramatic incident occur about the time she began to wet the bed? Have you taken her to a urologist and ask that tests be run to find out if any physical problem has taken place inside her body, like her bladder or kidneys?

I have also heard that kids wet the bed after being sexually abused. I would see her doctor first and ask for a referral to a urologist and then go from there.

Also, does she drink less water now than she used to? Our bodies need quite a lot of water to flush itself out but also if she drinks too close to bedtime it can make a child wet the bed if sleeping too deeply and doesn't hear the brain telling her the bladder is full and needs to get up and empty it. Some kids dream they are sitting on a toilet and pee the bed thinking they are awake and on the toilet.

L. C.

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M.V.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I'd have her checked by the pediatrician soon. There may be a simple medical explanation!

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K.N.

answers from Detroit on

My son also had a similar problem and we went to the Enuresis Center. Instead of using clock alarams, have you tried the night time alarm that they wear in their underwear. It will help break the deep sleep cycle but it can take time, it took us about 6 months.

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V.S.

answers from Lansing on

Did the Dr. have her sugar tested? If not please go and ask to have the blood tests ran. One of the symptoms for diabeties is frequent urination.

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L.M.

answers from Detroit on

If there is a problem I'm sure your urolisist will be able to help. Getting her up twice a night to use the bathroom I'm sure will help a great deal. It is more of a hassle for you than for her. She can't wet the bed if you keep her bladder empty. You won't get much sleep, but it will help her and you in the long run. Good luck!!!!!

L. M.

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S.

answers from Detroit on

It could be stress related. Maybe she is having a hard time with her dad gone?

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T.B.

answers from Lansing on

I am a Military wife with 3 children and my son had the same issue due to mutliple issues. One was that his Dad was gone a lot but there was a underlying medical issue which was he did not want to go number 2 so he would hold it and then the pressure would cause him to go to lose control of his bladder in his sleep.

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M.Z.

answers from Tampa on

My son had a bedwetting problem and the doctor always said to just wait it out. Well, I got tired of waiting (he was 9 years old) and ordered a bedwetting alarm. If you go to the urologist and they don't find anything I would HIGHLY recommend this alarm - http://www.bedwetting.us/works.php I felt like it was a miracle worker for us. My son wore it for a couple weeks and he is now completely cured of bedwetting. My whole family is just amazed and my son is so happy because now he can go to sleepovers!!! :)

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J.N.

answers from Detroit on

I've heard that big changes can affect a child wetting the bed, such as a new baby or daddy leaving for bootcamp. I went through the same thing (I even had those dreams) when I was seven; and come to think of it, my little sister and me are seven years and four months apart! My niece also went through this about three months after my older sister had twins. I'm not sure what the solution is, but try to be patient. I'm sure it will resolve itself. Maybe try implementing a reward system like when you first potty-trained her. When they're older you can use a chart. After so many good marks on the chart, she gets a really special prize.

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H.S.

answers from Detroit on

My 8 yr old also has this problem. I've researched this quite a bit and talked to other people with similar situations. The bottom line is it does not have anything to do with potty training, etc. It has to do with how she sleeps. My daughter is also a very sound sleeper and does the sleep walk thing when I wake her to go. There is a place in Farmington Hills called the Enuresis Treatment Center, Inc./31500 West 13 Mile Road/Suite 100/Farmington Hills, Michigan 48334. There website is www.nobedwetting.com. You can request info and their website is helpful. I will warn you that it is expensive. What they basically try to do is train your child's bladder to hold more and more liquid and for your child to feel the pressure while they sleep and wake up to go. So it's the opposite of what we think of trying to hold off on liquids before bedtime. Instead they gradually increase the child's amount of liquid before bed. With my daughter, I notice it happening more on nights that she is overly tired. Anyways, check out the website and good luck!

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R.G.

answers from Detroit on

My 7 year old son has been wetting the bed nightly, since he was potty trained. I have taken him to see a urologist, who has put him on medication for the last two days and for two days in a row, he has woke up and been dry.

I realize medication is not for everyone, but he apparently has an overactive bladder and the medication is helping to relive that.

The urologist is Dr. Harold Rutila, on Hill Road, in Flint.

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C.R.

answers from Detroit on

My son had the same problem and it was very h*** o* him he wouldn't go spend the night at friends houses. It is an adult now but it went on for years. He would wet the bed very early in his sleep pattern (so we were never able to catch it) and wouldn't wait up till morning. Our Dr put him on nose drops ( I believe the DTTVP) but it has been a long time. The were a godsend. He used them for a few years and the problem eventually went away. It was nice to have the relief for him, he started doing normal kid things with friends again. Hope this works for you to. Keep the faith.

C.

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S.H.

answers from Tampa on

You have a lot of good advice here. I just wanted to add to the list of reassurance... My family and my husbands family have history of bed wetting into older years. In mine, one boy did it until about age 14. In his family, one female did it into adulthood and still has problems once in a while. My oldest is 5 and still wearing a pullup. My youngest will be 4 in a couple weeks and does not. I think the one wearing a pullup feels bad enough that her younger brother doesn't so we help her celebrate the few times she wakes up dry. I don't know when she will grow out of it. I hope, for her self-esteem, sooner than later, but I can't control that. All I can do is make her feel as comfortable and normal as possible as she grows into her little body.
I say, get the overnight pants. Your daughter probably feels bad that you have to do all that everyday. You will take some of the pressure off her by getting them. She is not doing it on purpose by any means.
Good luck and God Bless.
S.

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L.B.

answers from Detroit on

Hey there,
I would speak with her doctor asap. She may have a medica

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M.T.

answers from Grand Rapids on

M.,

I think the first thing I'd look at is how much sleep she's getting. If she is very tired, it's going to be a fight for her to wake in the night. 2 of my 4 girls are prone to accidents when they are very tired. Getting them up as her father and I go to bed sometimes helps--yes they are almost sleepwalking zombies when we do this, but I prefer that to having an alarm set for me to take them later in the night. I'm not great with wake-ups myself. When they do have an accident, we deal with it without a lot of hassle-I don't haggle them or try to make them feel bad, but I do try to find out if they have any idea why this happened or if they remember anything. They themselves don't like that it happened so I don't feel the need to add more to that bad feeling.

I think if it were me I would try the pull ups. You mentioned that she doesn't like that it happens, so I don't think that she would take advantage of it. If she did wake up, she could still go potty in that bathroom by herself, and you'd have less laundry to deal with.
With school getting out, you might see a change in the pattern. With a little more sleep, she might be able to wake when she has to go. Your comment about her dream really has me thinking that she is too tired wake up at that moment to go potty.
A limit of how much she drinks say the last hour and a half before bedtime might help. As well as the potty before bed and then again when you and Dad go to bed. My husband and I had to do all that with one of ours. And I'll admit thatI am not one to really limit water when they are thirsty. I figure if she is thirsty, she needs a drink, but for a bit we did make them smaller drinks between dinner and bedtime.

I hope this helps-it's just experience from my end,
M.
Mom of 4 girls ages 5-10 and their Daddy

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A.V.

answers from Detroit on

i have 2 daughters that have urinary tract infections very regulary. my third daughter has been doing quite a bit better recently with them but my second daughter has had them sence she was 3 yrs old and she is 8 now. and one of the things that she does is wet the bed when she has one. recently she has stopped that and is on regular medication for them but here is a sugeston. give her 1000mg of vitamin c before she goes to bed it will stay in her bladder longer if you do it at night and the acid in the vitamin c will not allow the bacteria to stay there. if she does not have a bladder problem this will not hurt her but if she does you should notice a change in a day or 2. how ever if the doctor gives her medication for an infection take her off the vitamin c because it will not allow the medication to work. i hope all goes well

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D.T.

answers from Detroit on

M. when my kids were potty training I had someone suggest using underwear under the Pull Ups. This creates the wet sensation against the skin but not the bed mess. I might even use thicker underwear so they hold more liquid and create that discomfort. It worked better for my daughter than my son. I might be worth a try. I would definately take her to the Uroligist and try to uncover the root of the problem. Oh and PS .....I have had that dream before!!!

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