7 Year Old Daughter Scared of Swim Lessons

Updated on April 01, 2008
C.W. asks from Round Rock, TX
8 answers

My 7 year old daughter is in her second swim class. Her first was a beginner class and went great last summer. We stepped up to the second stage and she became frightened because more is expected of her and she actually has to put her entire face under the water and learn how to hold her breath. It is in a group setting with three instuctors to every four kids and its about 11 or 12 kids in all. She was like this with her bike also. Loved her bike with training wheels but when she had to step up to a bike with no training wheels, she is scared to try. Is this normal behavior for someone who loved an activity just months ago to be scared of it now? Should I let her quit? If she does, I will not feel comfortable letting her get into a swimming pool because of fear of what could happen even in a 3 ft. wading pool if she panicked. I'm afraid if she doesn't get it now she never will and will grow up to be a quiter. Any suggestions.......

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C.B.

answers from Houston on

As a swimming instructor who was "always" given the kids and adults who were afraid of water.....

You cannot allow her to quit. As a child, she needs a little more one-on-one instruction or better yet, would be a Mommy and Me class, where YOU learn the techniques to help get her into the pool, and blowing bubbles.

My first question to all who came to my classes, "Do you know what caused you to be afraid of the water?" The answers always varied from, "I don't know" to "When I was...I almost drowned..." type of things.

My first lesson was always, just to sit on the steps of the pool, up to the chest, and spend the 30 - 45 minutes just talking, and then pointing out that they spent the time in the pool and nothing bad happened.

The next day, we would sit in the water, and blow bubbles and walk across the shallow end with kick boards and blowing bubbles being a "boat". That would then go to bouncing, up and down, so that you are completely submerging (but when you stand, the water is only at your chest). I would also introduce floating on the back, letting everyone know that if they get into trouble or get panicked, they can float on their back and breathe.

The next day we would "warm up" with the bouncing, blowing bubbles and floating. Then we would use the kick boards and start to kick across the pool (no threat, they don't have to put their face in the water). Then after a few times across, I would have them blow bubbles and be a motor boat. A few more times, and I would have them put their face in the water as they go across the pool. Then I would have something of interest for the students. I would show it to them (for the adults, I had a silver dollar), and tell them it was theirs if they could retrieve it from the bottom of the pool. I then put the object in a sinking object and tossed it in to just above their shoulders deep water (they had to get the object with their HANDS not their feet). Normally this got them very used to having their face in the water and realizing, THEY are in control.

I constantly worked on going from tummy to back (back floating) and reminding my students that anytime they are tired, or scared, to float on their back, and BREATHE. I also had exercises where they followed the bubbles...UP. That way, if they found themselves in "deep" water and got confused, they would remember "follow the bubbles" and would get to the surface where they could back float.

It is really wonderful to watch a scared person realize they CAN swim and are in control of the water, and go off the diving board when only two weeks before they had a hard time even getting into the pool.

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M.H.

answers from Houston on

Have you considered having a friend or cousin that is of the same age go with her? It seems to me that when they are trying out "scary" things for the first time, their fears are calmed a little when a peer is there doing it with them. If she sees someone she trusts "going under" and having fun with it, it might prompt her to do the same.
Just a thought.
Margaret:)

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K.W.

answers from Corpus Christi on

I wouldn't let her quit but I would look for ways to make her feel more secure in it. Swimming, to me, is a very important skill for children to learn since being able to can save their lives. Your daughter will never learn to overcome her fears if you let her quit every time she has to face one.

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D.M.

answers from Houston on

Looking at it from your childs point of view, I was her, still am to an extent. I am 28 yrs old and I still don't know how to swim. I am also still very afraid of the water. I think that is just in some of us. Like some people are afraid of spiders, I am afraid of deep water. If I can't touch the bottom comfortably, then I am not going in there. My parents pushed me in swim lessons when I was about her age. They made me go, made me do all of the things that they were teaching, and it made my phobia 3x worse. Just speaking from your childs perspective, give her some time to conquer the fear on her own. Take her to the pool and just let her play. Ease her into deeper water with you who she trusts backing her up. She won't be a quiter just because she is scared of something. I don't quit on anything. There is a difference between not wanting to do something and being afraid to.

I hope I have shed some light on this for you.
Have a blessed day!

D. Mattern-Muck
The MOM Team
Raise your income and your rugrats at the same time!
www.formyrugrats.com
"The only thing that counts is faith, expressing itself through love." Galatians 5:6

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K.B.

answers from Houston on

Hi Christine-

Are the swim lessons in a group or one on one? You might want to look for private lessons for her (if these are not) so that the instructor can take her time and help your daughter to feel more confident. Also, have you tried having her practice putting her face in the water and holding her breath in the bathtub? Try to make it fun....use a stop watch to see how long she can go and have her continue to increase her time.

Good Luck,
K.

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K.C.

answers from Houston on

my mom sent me to beginners class several times before I took the bullet and advanced. Theres nothing wrong with her she just has a fear of water being in her face and having to hold her breath.
Things you can try:
Having her hold her breath without water around so she doesnt feel stressed.
Tell her things like its a big bath tub.
have her play in the bath tub with a swim suit on and see if she will go under water there, if she wont then work with her slowly. And have a rag ready to wipe her eyes.

My son from day was in love with water, he went to his dads (age 2) for 3 months to visit. After he came back he was deathly afraid of water. I still dont know what all that happened but I have been working with my son for 2 years now to try to enjoy the water again. I am moving very slow with him doing all the things to do list just to wash his hair. But in a swiming pool it is a different story, he feels safe.

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M.A.

answers from Killeen on

My daughter is afraid of the water too. Her biggest deal is getting it in her face. I can't help with the swimming lessons because my Mom paid for me to take them for 3 years and I still can't swim. On the few occasions my kids go to the pool, I get in with them, making sure I can touch bottom. My son learned how to swim just fine, it seemed to just come natural to him. But some of us are hopeless when it comes to swimming. If she is afraid, don't force her, just watch her a little more closely in the pool.

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C.R.

answers from Houston on

Whatever you decide to do, don't let her quit! Quitting starts a cycle of failed achievements. It is common for children to be apprehensive of new things/change regardless of what it is. Take pride in the fact that she shows caution, some kids don't and those are the ones you'll need to worry about later. Maybe you should have her take private lessons (1 on 1). My daughter wouldn't cooperate with the group sessions, so I hired one of the lifeguards from our area to teach her twice a week for $15 per 1hr session.

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