OK, this may seem like a long, and odd question, but I need some advice!! It is only the first day out of school and already I am at my wits end with the two girls!! I will admilt that I am pregnant and somewhat over worked, but their fighting and constant lack of respect for each other and for me has pushed me to the limit today!! I asked them to clean their romm up (not a huge mess either) and after 2 hours of fighting and threatening, I just took EVERYTHING out of the bedroom except for clothes and their bedding. NOW WHAT!! We have also just set up a "kindness" tree that they get to put leaves up for each kind thing they do for others, and I am encouraging them to tell on each other this way..they are allowed to put them up for each other, and for every 5 they get, they earn a quarter to pay for extra things they want on our trip to Florida next month. I babysit full time, but will be off for the summer, and really want to use this time to get these two back on track. I dont have great pregnancies, and just had a baby a year ago, and it seems obvious to me that due to my lack of energy at the end of the day, I have let things go that I should not have. My 4 year old talks back to me something fierce,and my 7 year old (who BTW is an angel at school!) rolls her eyes, huffs and puffs, and still throws a tantrum with the best of them. They are so good for other people, so I know that they have figured out that I have let them get away with it, so it is time to reboot their systems and teach them who is boss. (BTW it is supposed to be me..ha) Anyone have any ideas that have worked for them? I am thinking about getting the Love and Logic books, but I am also looking for advice that has worked in your own homes. I want to have a fun summer, so I hope to get this resolved within the next few weeks...any ideas would be lovely!! Thanks a bunch!! ~A.~
I would recommend a book titled "The Five Love Languages of Children" by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell. This book teaches how to meet your children's deepest emotional need, so they don't use other means to get it (i.e. fighting, whining, "being bad", and etc) for attention.
We tried a "Caught you being good jar" system. It is similar to your kindness tree (I like that idea!). Every time we "caught" the kids doing something good they got a Hershey kiss to put in their jar. When they did a chore, they got a kiss. When they shared something of their they got a kiss. Sometimes they could earn bonus kisses for various things. When the jar is full they get to pick something special. For our kids, it was a small toy, but it could be whatever you set up ahead of time for them. Then they start filling the jar up all over again.
It requires a lot of work on your part at first. You want to reward them for all the little things and get them in those habits you are hoping for.
Best of luck to you!!
Try Parent Effectiveness Training by Gordon Thomans (or is it Thomas Gordon?).... also know as P.E.T. I read the book YEARS ago and loved it. You don't have to read the whole thing to get the idea. You are the example for the kids, so start using P.E.T on them and usually they follow!
I bought the American Girl OOPS! Manners book for my 6 yr old and we read it together. She insists on being polite and presentable after reading it. There are things in there about how to treat siblings, friends, older people, strangers, ect. After reading we talk about how to use it with friends and siblings ect. (people she knows)
She actually loves this book and dosen't seem to realize I'm using it to change her behavior.
I'm keeping it handy so I can pull it out whenever she needs a reminder.
RPocai
