5-Year Old Birthday Party - Would This Be Weird?

Updated on June 13, 2013
B.E. asks from New York, NY
22 answers

We've been attending a rash of birthday parties and they're pretty much standard pizza-and-cake affairs, held around lunchtime, all very nice and held in fancy facilities. I doubt any of these parties have been under $1K.

I would like to do our first-ever big party this year, since my son has made a posse of friends in his new preschool. He is very excited by the idea of the big party. However, I don't have the budget for these costlier places and I don't have the manpower or space to do it at home. I would invite the 2 preschool classes and this is probably over 30 kids, though I know some won't show.

The school can offer space, a party helper and entertainment for a pretty reasonable price. I would have to provide food and decorations, plus goody bags.

I'm seriously considering doing a breakfast party - not too early. Maybe from 9:00 - 11:00 or 9:30 - 11:00 (I'm leaning towards 9:30). I'd lay out bagels, cream cheese, butter, jam, maybe muffins or danish (whatever Costco carries), fruit platter, juice boxes and water for kids, and boxes o'joe (or whatever I can arrange with the local coffee places) for adults.

Instead of a formal sit-down meal for kids (which they always seem too antsy to do and can be a real trial for parents to get their kids to eat), I would just have everyone graze as they wish. Towards the very end of the party, close to lunchtime, I would do the cake or cupcakes.

I like the idea of holding the party first thing so everyone has the rest of the day open and I REALLY like the idea of not dealing with keeping food hot or having limitations of food if extra people show up. Breakfast food just seems so easy and inexpensive for feeding a big group. But is it problematic not scheduling a "formal" mealtime for the party and leaving it up to parents/kids?

What do you think - have you held something like this or attended something like this and how did it work out? I've only ever attended late morning or midday events and have never seen this done.

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So What Happened?

Hey - really appreciating the answers and diversity of opinions so far - please keep them coming! This would be my first "big" party and I'm definitely bemused on how to handle it.

Just to clarify - I'm not looking to spend anywhere near $1,000! ;) I'd like to spend less than half that amount.

I did wonder, after reading several responses, whether I was overestimating what other parents are spending. I pulled out brochures from all these facilities and, yes, they are easily spending around $1K. Yikes! We have a very limited option of places to hold parties where I live now, so I guess it's kind of a captive audience.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would hold the party before lunch and then have pizza, cake, etc. at the end of the party. You can do a 10:00-noon party pretty easily.

The way you're planning the time, the cake IS going to be their lunch...

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H.M.

answers from Denver on

If those parents spent $1000 on their kids birthday parties they are fools - sorry.

You can have a standard pizza, cake, etc party at any number of kiddo venues for around $150/$250...

Good luck.

4 moms found this helpful

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B.C.

answers from Dallas on

I'm not a morning person, especially on the weekends so I would not likely be seen at a party before noon.

3 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

I have never attended a morning party but it sounds like fun! Perfect too for those kids that actually are a bit more cranky in the afternoon.
However, did I read it right that people have paid more than a THOUSAND dollars for a birthday? That's what the "K" means, right? OH MY LORD...who spends that kind of money on a kid birthday??? Please don't compare yourself to them. There is nothing wrong with inviting a smaller group of kids and just letting them play...you do not need to keep up with the Jones'
L.

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds awesome! I may do it myself one year :-)

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Many times it's not as pricey as you think. Our local community rec buildings are about $150 for most of them for a couple of hours, plus a little food and a cake from home or Costco. Usually we just throw the kids in the backyard and feed them. I think the priciest kid party (not counting big birthdays when the big kids were older) was $300 and that was for a party at someplace like laser tag or the local Chuck E Cheese knockoff.

My DD's friend has a Bagel Brunch at about 10AM for his birthdays. They host it at his grandparent's house, the kids run around and play, it's a very casual thing. Having a buffet or snacks is common. I don't usually do a sit-down meal for DD's parties.

I would give people time to arrive and then set out food and say help yourselves. If you have any games, give them a few minutes of warning before games/presents/cake so people can eat/not eat.

Anytime you feed kids, ask about allergies! Just yesterday my niece forgot about her kid's friend's allergy to eggs so he couldn't have many of the foods provided. I would offer things like cereal (why not?) and fruit as well as the bagels and danishes. My DD would eat all of the above and a couple of months ago there was a party where they did that - bagels, fruit, some lunchmeat. Everyone found something to eat.

I would think about the guest list, too. Less is often more. I know schools might ask you to invite everybody but that can be a huge, unruly mess. Maybe 10 good friends, and you quietly slip the invites to their parents.

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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I've seen a more frequent trend (and have done it myself) to not do a meal at all by scheduling in between, like 2-4 or 9-11. It's not meal time, parents will not expect it, especially if you say "join us for fun and cake!" You can lay out munchy stuff like veggies and dip, cheese and crackers, a fruit tray. Kids will be happy and snack when they need to, it's much cheaper and easier. Don't be afraid of doing it however you want, make it easier on yourself!

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I definitely think that what you're doing can work. a breakfast party would be a fun change of pace for the kids. They would love having something new and different.
You also can do a party that doesn't involve a meal at all if you want to save some money. Hold the party from 9:30 - 11:30 or 10:00 - 12:00 and just serve cake and ice cream. You can have a couple of snacks available if you feel you need it (fruit, chips & dip), but it's really not necessary. As you said, the kids are FAR more interested in playing than in eating and as long as there is cake, they don't care about anything else.

My son's third and fourth birthdays were not during meal times and we had wonderful parties with just snacks and cake. I put on the invitations something like "cake and light snacks will be served" so they knew not to expect a meal. If you do have breakfast foods, you can put something like "continental breakfast and cake will be served" so they know what to expect.

Happy birthday to your son!
K.
http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/karenchao - need great gift ideas? Discovery Toys has something perfect for your son!

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M.H.

answers from New York on

Sounds good to me! I think I am going to steal this idea for my sons next birthday party. God willing. :)

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A.B.

answers from New York on

We went to a breakfast/brunch party this summer in Brooklyn and it was awesome. The kids don't care, and the parents were happy to have the rest of the day ahead of them -- and a break from the usual pizza. Go for it!

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

I think you are over thinking this :)

Most parties my kids go to are pretty low key and rarely have a sit down meal. If there is one, it's a $5 hot n ready pizza from Little Ceasers or hot dogs or something cheap and juice boxes or capri suns. But still, most parties just have cake and ice cream and drinks, maybe a few snacks for the kids that get hungry early.. no other kind of meal at all.

I think the grazing is a good idea for older kids/adults, but for 5 year olds, they really need some structure, otherwise they will be likely running around all over the place and snacking the whole time when you are trying to do activties/games/present opening. I am a birthday party entertainer, so this is just from my observations.

One good way to do this is as the children arrive, they can come in to the breakfast spread and they can eat the first 20 minutes casually. Then you can have the helpers clean up while the kids start their activities.

I'm with Beth, I likely won't be there if it's before noon.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I've held a kid's party in the morning and it has worked out fine! I would totally skip the cupcakes, though, and just do breakfast food. I did banana/choc chip muffins for the kids. I would just make sure the invitations state that breakfast food will be served, so parents can make their own plans for lunch.

Kids are their best in the morning, less cranky. Breakfast food is easier and cheaper. The kids won't care if the party is in the morning or afternoon, they're just happy to be at a party. I really don't know any moms/dads of five-year-olds who can't get out of the house in the morning, it's not like kids that age "sleep in"...

I even did "brunch" high school graduation parties for my two oldest. They went over big!

I've never invited so many kids to a young child's party, though. I stick pretty close to the "one kid for each year" guideline, so my 5 year-olds have had about five kids at their parties. But that's just me, I can't handle crowds well.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Don't worry too much about the "formal meal time". Kids that age will eat if they are hungry. If there's food out, they'll munch.

I know you're in the City, but $1000? Why do you need to invite BOTH preschool classes? We live about an hour North of NYC and had a b-day party for my 3 yr old last May at a zoo for 20 kids and their parents. The whole thing (including "better" food than pizza and cake, the goodies, cake, zoo fees) was under $500. Shop around and see what you can find.

Just my 2 cents on the food ideas... do 3 year olds eat cold bagels, danishes and coffee? Not most of them. You may find yourself having to be more expansive with the food by doing it at an "off time". If you do something during lunch, you order pizzas and have water and juice (for the adults too) with cake and you're done.

Most of the parties we go to consume the day because my son is so excited before and then exhausted after. Don't worry about that, but do make sure that you stay within your budget and that the kids (not the parents) are the focus of the fun!

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B.L.

answers from Boston on

If you do breakfast, you might want to add some dry cereal to the menu, in case there are kids who won't eat the other stuff. It's very cheap, and most kids will munch on cheerios, for instance.

I like the idea of a breakfast party. I'm going to have to file that one away.

There's also nothing wrong with an afternoon party that doesn't include lunch, unless the kids are young enough that you're going to be running into naptime for a lot of them.

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M.R.

answers from Phoenix on

I vote whatever you and your birthday girl want and dream up is just perfect.

Don't focus on what other's do and expect...focus on your daughters ideas.

I think the bagel/fruit juices/ followed by cupcakes is WAY too much sugar. Sure enough they'll be grazing because they're not going to be able to sit down with that amount of stuff to eat.

There is nothing wrong with planning a craft, or playtime, or bounce time, and serve only cupcakes and milk or juice. You do not need to feed everyone, every time. You'll also learn and figure out that most kids eat VERY little at parties. They are too excited. So cut your bagels in 1/4's for the kids if you go that route. And serve those tiny cupcakes, not that big, honkin' size. Or you could make one regular size for the special birthday girl and make small ones for everyone else. Kids can always get seconds.

Personally, I have a hard time seeing so much good food go in the trash at the end of these affairs.

I am familiar with the social pressure of NY and LA and the expectations to serve the adults their expensive favorites. I vote skip it...this is for the kiddos.

And most important....wear jeans and sneakers or whatever you are super comfortable in, what can get sticky, gooey and washed easily, and have fun..!!

1 mom found this helpful
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B.P.

answers from New York on

$1,000?? I went to a morning party at Bounce U. at 9:30 and I was not pleased with the time at all. It was a great party, everyone had a nice time and there were bagels served and cake. The mom had the same idea, have the whole day to do stuff, but for us, a party is the highlight of a day. You can also consider doing a party at 3-5 and just serve snacks and cake.

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

I think its a great idea! Im not a morning person really, but Im up anyway (thanks to the kiddo's),love coffee and would love a place for my children to get out some of their extra energy! Sounds like a win win for everyone!

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I Love the idea. I have thought of it myself butwondered the same thing. Sure people might think its weird but then they will catch on and wonder why they never thought of it. I like doing things out of the box and a bit different. I usually get compliments and I bet you will to.

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

Not to much different than going to breakfast with Santa..in the timing sense.. I would go.

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

I would invite 20 kids at the most. You will get parents and siblings and it will end up being crazy! Can you just do one preschool class - the one your son is in? You don't need to serve a meal. Here are some ideas for you: 2 hours at our local gymnastics place (1 hour of gymnastics time and 1 hour use of the picnic tables/eating area upstairs) cost $80. I had the kids come at 1pm and we served cake at 2pm. I made the cake and decorated and had goodie bags. Maybe all that cost another $100? So...the whole party was about $200 total. Everyone is busy. As a parent, I don't want half my day gone due to a party so I would rather have it be shorter. The local indoor play area where we used to live charged $150 for a birthday party. The local ice rink charged $50. The local swimming pool charges per child - so 20 kids is $100. I'm just giving you ideas bc at that age won't they be full after eating breakfast? If you do a breakfast party I think that is a very cute idea...but it sounds like a lot of work and money to feed that many people both a meal and cake.

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D.J.

answers from New York on

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X.O.

answers from Chicago on

How could a 30-child pizza party be anywhere near $1k? We fed 40 adults at a nice downtown Chicago restaurant on a Friday night for $1k for our rehearsal dinner.

I'd go with the school idea, and then buy pizza from a reasonably priced restaurant, slice it checker-board style (not wedges, which yields fewer pieces), and have the party from 11-1, with lunch being served at 12:30.

I would really have a hard time getting out of the house early on a Sat morning in order to make it to a 9 or 9:30 birthday party.

*ETA - My 4 (soon to be 5 yr old) would never eat a bagel or danish, and I know several kids that age who wouldn't, so you might have a large number of hungry (aka, cranky) kids on your hands.

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