4 Yr Old Crying at Pre-k

there is a really cute book called "The Kissing Hand" about a baby raccoon who is afraid to go to school because he doesn't want to leave his mom. Get the book, read it, and kiss his hand every morning. that may help.

It's kind of hard to give any other advice because you don't say how long he's been going to daycare/pre-k, or if this has been happening the whole time or is relatively new. I do think the potty accidents are related to the stress/anxiety he's feeling.

It's pretty typical for kids to cry for 10 or 15 min fairly often at drop off time in the morning - sometimes into the 2nd grade.
It's just what they need to do in order to deal with the transition from home to school.
At the pre-k school my son went to, they had a window where parents could peek into the room while their kid had no idea parents were watching.
Usually 15 min of crying ends and they go on to have a great day (and then when it's time to go home Mom comes to get them and they want to stay longer and play - so we get this both coming and going).
It's a great relief to know that the show for the purpose of showing loyalty to mom is usually very short.

It can take several months for kids to get into a good routine.
Potty accidents are also common into 1st grade - so I wouldn't worry too much about it.
Most day care/schools want a change of clothes kept at school so they have clean things to wear.

When he's calm, ask him who his best friend at school is and every day ask him what was the best thing that happened at school.
Tell him he's so lucky he gets to play at school and learn new games with his friends,
it's so boring at home and he's not missing anything.
Tell him you want the mornings to have less fussing so everyone has a great start to the day.
Get as much ready for the next day the night before (lunch/snacks, change of clothes, etc).
If he ever has to stay home sick - make sure it IS boring - he stays in bed and sleeps and the tv doesn't get turned on until the usual time in the evening like every other day.

In the morning, try to give your hug goodbye at home before leaving for school.
Once at school it's all business - make drop off as short and sweet as possible.
A quick "Ok! I love you! Bye bye!" and leave.
He'll make his transition quicker that way.

It's a tough stage but he will out grow it eventually.

One of mine would have a hard time being dropped off at that age. Then he wouldn't want to come home at the end of the day. I used to have the teacher come and get him involved in something when we arrived - and I would leave once he would get distracted. If that's not possible, can you take him over to engage him in something? My mom was a kindergarten teacher. She used to keep an eye out for any child who was having a hard time and she had a special favorite toy (or playodough or something) to engage that child - knew what they were into.

The peeing is likely related to the upset/stress.

My only thought is - is he unwell or coming down with something? My kids would always be more emotional and regress when ill at that age.

Maybe having a little something special in his pocket (one of mine carried a little piece of our special blanket ...) something tucked away that he could comfort himself with without everyone knowing? I would talk to the teacher for ideas.

With one of mine, we would plan to do something 'fun' when she got home - that kind of lifted the mood. So if she was balking at going, I'd say "How about we have a teddy bear picnic when you get home?" and we'd just have a few bears out when we were making dinner. It was enough to have something to look forward to.

It will pass. You need to drop him off and don't look back, just give him a hug at the door of his classroom and give him to the teacher, then walk away.

If he sees you reacting to the crying he's won.

How long has your kid been at prek? Separation anxiety is real but I don't think it should be that extreme. Although we don't always realize it - not every environment is right for every kid. Can you do some observations to see what's triggering your kid?

My child was absolutely NUTS at one daycare and then I switched her to another and she was fine. Same with school - we had one that was a horrible fit for kindergarten - but we moved her to another one which allowed them to be more free - had more physical movement, and voila - happy as ever kiddo at school.

I'm not blaming the school but there really is something to be said for finding the right environment for a kid. Trust your momma instincts over everything. Take a look closely into your school and really form your opinion on whether it's a good fit or not.

At my daughter's preschool there was a little boy like this. After a few months he still was not over it and still would cry almost the entire time (9 to noon)...off and on. It was so sad. He didn't want to participate. The family had moved here from India and he didn't know much English yet. I volunteered at the school and saw that he was treated wonderfully...he just wanted no part of it. Then they switched him to a different preschool and suddenly he was happy and didn't cry all day. No one knew why really. Maybe you should try a different school?