4 Year Old's Become Super Clingy

I would have to wonder if something is going on at the daycare that is upsetting him. If he enjoyed preschool and had no problems going and then suddenly became clingy...well, that sets off some alarm bells in my head. Talk to him and see if he can tell you why he doesn't want to go there. It may be nothing, he may just be going through a clingy phase, but if this is the only time he does that, I would be concerned that something is going on there that is upsetting him.

Sometimes kids do things that we will never understand - or maybe we will when they're in their 30s and actually able to verbalize how they remember things. He may just be getting some separation anxiety going on.

First, I'd talk to him about daycare and nonchalantly ask what kinds of things they do, about his friends and teachers, etc. In talking, he may end up sharing something that is unpleasant during the day for him -- hopefully it wouldn't be anything big, but there still may be something you can do to help.

Second, if you don't do this already I would suggest having some special time with him when you get home in the afternoon. Just 20-30 minutes as soon as you walk in. What worked/works for us is reading, because your child can pick out books to read and sit snuggled up next to you, which is comforting. After that time, explain that you have to cook supper (or whatever) and that he can play/etc. But that time right off the bat that he gets to spend with you can really make a big difference!

Best of luck!

If he is an only child, try finding a play mate to invite over. This might help him see that you are not his only friend to play with. Try to make it a regular part of your routine. It may help some.

Is this only happening when you drop him at the gym? Did the daycare at the gym start immediately after preschool? I get a strong feeling that there is something going on at the gym day care. It may be another child or a care worker that he is having trouble with.

Try to think specifically about the day it started and if there are any constants at the gym in regards to time of day, children present and which care worker. All so talk to the top most management at the gym to see if anyone else has complained, as well as other mom's you know that take their children there.

I have a lot of experience with kids and this sort of behavior. If it is just discomfort with something new the behavior wains and eventually stops, if the new situation is positive. I know that this is uncomfortable to think about, but it is absolutely worth exploring.

Best of Luck
L.