4 Year Old Having Repeat Accidents

Instead of asking him if he has to go, maybe you should say it's time to go and take him to the bathroom. Also, if he has an accident because he was playing and didn't want to stop, then he should have a time-out. He needs to learn that it's faster, easier and better to stop for a minute to go to the bathroom than to wet his pants.

My son does the same thing. I noticed it usually happens when I am engrossed in something and don't remind him to go.
It also seems to happen when he has a fever - maybe he feels too yucky to get up and walk to the bathroom - or the fever medicine reduces the feeling in his bladder a little...
If it has been at least a week since Ian has had a pee accident he gets a verbal warning to be more careful. If it happens twice in a week the 2nd offence gets a time out after we clean up the mess together and we talk about not being lazy and waiting too long to go potty is bad for our tummies.
Thank God I have tile floors!!!
He has gotten much better - goes for at least a month without an accident and has gotten better at catching himself and getting to the bathroom with just a few drops in his underwear. He NEVER has accidents at pre-school or in front of visitors or his friends - so I know he is aware of his body - just procrastinates.

this is common for kids in their first year after training. It should eventually pass.

A.-Congrats on potty training your son. What you wrote is so indicative of a boy. I have twins (G/B) and my son does the same thing. He is almost 5.5 years old and it still is a challenge to get him to the restroom. He does the 'wee-wee dance' all the time, and the answer is always no I don't have to go. Until the very last last last moment. Luckily his control is good and we don't have accidents.

I don't have any real advice, except to explain (again and again) the consequences of waiting until the last minute (what if the restroom is being used and you have to wait etc.) That type of reasoning seems to work, as well as the reminders.

Good luck
K.

It sounds like he's just too busy having fun and doesn't want to stop to take the time out to go to the bathroom. You probably need to schedule yourself to remind him on a regular basis, and instead of asking, just tell him it's time to go and make sure he goes.

How about getting him a watch with a timer that goes off every hour or so to remind him to go to the bathroom.

Remind him often and if it has been a while since he's gone, take him to the bathroom, don't ask. Just say, time to go to the bathroom and try. This is normal for boys. Just be consistent.

A., this too shall pass. Every child is different- there will be times when this will happen. I make my child use the restroom before leaving somewhere or if we are traveling- the whole family goes out and handles their business, even if they don't have to go.
Now, if he does have an accident although you have tried all that, maybe ask questions.. is he is school yet? has his schedule changed much? did something change in your family that would make him have a reaction and this is his way of getting attention? These are all things to look for, stress is a big factor with children/parents EVERYONE.. just know that if this is just a phase.. this too shall pass. Good luck and hey, have that extra change of clothes ready for him just in case. It beats getting upset with your little one-

Hi A.. I'm super interested in what moms have to say about your question.... we're exactly in the same boat..my son finally potty trained six mos ago as well and he's the same age.. except my son just denies he has to go at all until the extreme last second!! And my son and daughter are exactly the same age as yours.. how funny! Good luck!!!

My eldest had similar problems. She was so invested in playing she didn't want to pay attention and stop to go potty. I had to insist she go when I caught her looking like she had to. I also talked to her about trying to make more of an effort to notice and go potty on time.

My son was the same way. Your son will figure it out on his own. What worked for my son was for him to "take charge of himself". Basically, I just stopped reminding him, and eventually he got the idea. Additionally, if I was doing something "fun" and had to go to the bathroom, I would say, "Wow, I am having so much fun, but I need to take a break and go potty!" That seemed to work also.
There is also a game on http://www.sesamestreet.org/home
were you "help" Elmo stop what he is doing and have him go to the bathroom. My son really liked that game, and I think that helped him as well. The game is called "Toddler: Elmo's Potty Time".

Good Luck!

M. *~

Hehe, I just love those little 'gotta go wiggles' and when I see it, I tell him to GO. STOP what he is doing (talking to me, playing, etc) and GO. (Whatever) will still be here when he gets back.

My son is 6 1/2 years old and still gets the wiggles or sometimes he'll start telling me something then suddenly his face changes and "I gotta go!" and off he runs. It seems like their minds dont really notice 'warnings' that they will need to go and only does it click when they MUST go NOW. Just keep on reminding them. Watch for those little wiggle dances and have them take a 'pause' (cooler sounding than 'time out') from what they're doing and GO.

Oh, and don't ask, just tell him to go. His body is not pretending he needs to go. In his mind mind he may be, but not his body. Just send him.

Oh those boys!!!!!

I have 3, and my sisters each have 2. Oh boy, do i know boys :o) And yes, as soon as they have finally "mastered" the potty consistenly, they do seem to regress, don't they?

I went through it with 2 of my boys, and now my sister is having the same issue with her 4 yr old son. The problem: he's simply too busy :o) She needs to remind him to "listen to your body"......

My son actaully would wait with BOTH #1 & #2....I was getting tired of cleaning him at age 4, so I changed one of my bathroom cupboards to accomodate this "phase'. I lovingly told my son that if he had another accident, here is everything he needs to fix and clean himself. I had wipee's, underpants, sweatpants, etc... After a few times of trying to claen himself, he pretty much stopped waiting to go to the bathroom.

Anyway, one thing I DID learn for sure. Patience and love was the key. Because it's such an embarrassing issue (for them), if I ever sounded mad, then my boys thought I didn't love them because of this problem. So, I learn to always be loving and positive when talking about "the potty issues", and things were just fine.

Good Luck, A.!

~N. :o)

First, don't ASK him if he has to go. JUST TAKE HIM POTTY.
Boys are like that, they just wanna PLAY, man!My son was much harder to potty train than either of my girls.
It is great to offer choice whenever possible, but this isnt one of those situations. They also don't mind being wet sometimes! Really he is being untruthful to you; he knows he needs to go. And it creates an unneccesary nuisance for mom (more laundry & baths etc)
So don't allow opportunity to happen. Just say: POTTY BREAK! You can go right back to _____ (legos, whatever) as soon as you make a quick tinkle.If he says no , just pick him up and take him. Firmly and calmly. "Mama does know best" is all you say.
If you gave stickers as motivational reward, go back to that.
As far as disciplining over it, I would not do that until I tried this first. It has to be a positive experience.
Potty training takes a long time, at least a year. There will be backslides. They need us to keep directing them. ANd keep praising them. Remember how excited you were at first?

A., I am so glad to read all these posts because my 4 year old son is doing the same thing. I always keep reminding myself that it will pass. The one thing that has helped us is to give him the control. He will go when he has to go and if he has an accident, lovingly remind him that this is why we don't wait to the last minute. If I don't nag at him to go, he will jump up on his own and say I have to go potty and go. Keep up the great job!

If I catch my son doing the peepee dance or grabbing himself like he's trying to hold it I just tell him that it looks like he has to go so he needs to go to the bathroom. If he argues against it I just tell him that if he looks like he needs to go then I am going to tell him to go and he has to go. The other thing I do is if its been a while I tell him to go to the potty. We also make sure that he goes to the potty before we leave the house. Another thing is that I found at first he didn't want to leave his playing but what I would do is if a show was on that he wanted to watch I would tell him I would pause it and if he was playing with toys I would remind him that the toys would still be there when he got back and that it would take longer for us to have to clean up an accident than it would be for him to just stop and go potty.

Potty Party! Whenever you have to go ask if he's going to go first or if you "get" to go first this time... either way he has to stop what he's doing and take his turn. My boys seem to have their pee accident when they haven't gone in a while and I turn on the water to do dishes... so now we have regular potty parties before they or I get started on any chore/activity. This is in addition to before leaving the house, before heading home, upon arrival home, before meals, etc etc..