4 Year Old Crying at Bedtime

I would strongly suggest buying a copy of Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers. Her book is a gentle guide to helping children sleep, while helping you to sleep and stay sane. Give a try, I think it would help tremendously.

Seems like she doesn't like the idea of moving maybe?

Hi J.,
My 3 1/2 year old son has issues with the dark. Could she be afraid of the dark? We bought him a "glo-buddy" and he LOVES this thing. We tell him Globuddy chases away the dark and that was good enough for him. It also soothes him to sleep... He can also take it to bed with him safely as it has no cords and has a rechargeable base:
http://www.amazon.com/MOBI-70175-TykeLight-Portable-GloMa...

Hope this helps!

Yes it's totally normal when there is change in a child's life. Sounds like the change in her berhavior is due to the changes happening in your life with moving in with your fiance'. She is only 4 and as hard as it is for adults to adjust to changes imagine what she must be going through. Be patient with her and I'm sure once she adjusts to the new living arrangements she will be fine. Give her lots of hugs & kisses before bedtime and cuddle wih her a lot! It's great therapy for kids and will help her feel more secure =-)

Congratulations on the engagement!!!

I second the opinion of Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers. Her books are wonderful, and always seem to have things I've never though of trying. Good luck, that sounds like a hard situation! Eventually this phase will end, and another will begin.... sigh. Fun to be a mom! :)

Going through something similar with my 4 year old now. He doesn't like sleeping by himself and is now telling me he's scared on the posters on his wall and doesn't like his room. Nevermind that these posters have been on the wall the past couple of years...last night I had to take one down before he would go to bed, but still many tears before I could leave him on his own.

I think being 4 is tough...not a baby but not a big kid yet and there are a lot of transitions in their lives. Some of their friends will still be in preschool and others going into Kindergarten and that type of thing. With the other changes going on in your life it's probably partially just an adjustment issue as I'm sure she knows you are getting married.

I know some people will disagree but we let our son have a movie on to fall asleep and our door is always open. I often wake up with the little guy laying next to me in the morning and the movie doesn't keep him awake, it's more of a comfort thing. Just try to be there for your daughter, lay down with her, sing to her, whatever makes her feel more comfortable going to sleep in her room. I always ask him why he doesn't want to sleep alone and that's how we got to the poster thing. You never know what's going through their minds!

Good luck!

My daughter has started saying she is a baby too... I just remind her how cool it is to be a big girl. When she says she is a baby, say, oh... then I guess you can't eat ice cream or pizza. Or, I guess you can't run and play... whatever she likes to do... remind her that babies can't do those things. That usually snaps my daughter right out of it.

Also, before you leave her room, have a talk with her... ask her if there is anything she needs before bed because she can't scream. My daughter will scream too unless I cover all my bases and eliminate an excuse for her. I make sure all closets and drawers are shut. I don't forget ANY part of our routine. And then I ask her... Are you going to scream tonight? It's no fun is it? WHy don't you go to sleep nice and peacefully? Whatever the case is... Acknowledge that she screams but that you want it to be different and ask her what SHE needs.

I think it's a phase too. Since she is four, maybe help her in solving the issue. Ask her what she needs and then find solutions. If she needs you or doesn't want to be alone, maybe lie with her until she falls asleep (I know it's controversial) or maybe find a new stuffed toy or blanket to soothe her - or night light. Find out what she is needed and try to find a way to comfort her that you can deal with. My daughter is 3.5, was a great sleeper as a baby and VERY independent. Now she "needs me" or my husband at bedtime and night time and doesn't want to be alone. She won't want me forever, so I am there for her - parenting doesn't stop at night (just my opinion).

My four year old does the same thing. I think they are just at that stage. I have rewarded my son for not crying and sleeping all by himself and it has seemed to work when I have done it. I tell him he can get a gum or something he hardly ever gets but really really likes if he doesn't cry and shows mommy he is a big boy.
I know change in life has a big part to do with it, but I'm not sure its all of it. I think its just another milestone in children. Good luck!!!

Most children DO NOT LIKE CHANGE.
Have you been talking to her about moving in with him, around the time this has started?

She might be upset about it and not want to do it and she might be wanting your attn.

God bless you and your family.

♥

I completely agree with Denise P and VS. Not only do kids go through natural changes in their sleep patterns, but this is a HUGE move for her, and she's old enough to understand part of what it means.

I believe she's trying to not-so-subtly tell you that she's having trouble with all the changes in her life and needs some reassurance getting through them.

Our 3.5 year old has developed an irrational fear of the dark (even though his room has 2 nightlights, and we keep the door open). He needs us there, too, to help him fall asleep most nights. It usually takes 15 minutes. One of us lays down with him, we hope not to fall asleep ourselves, and then we get working on trying to figure out why his younger sister is still awake.

Good luck!