4 1/2 Month Old Who Doesn't Sleep

Your milk is certainly enough for him. Unless you want to supplement for other reasons, don't think that your body can't produce enough for your baby. A four hour stretch is pretty good for a 4 month old. It will gradually get longer and longer and one morning you will wake up and realize that you slept through the night! It's a great feeling, just know that it will happen eventually. I can't help you too much with naps, I always struggled to get my daughter to nap. Some babies like to just cat nap though, mine did. She rarely took a long nap at that age. Maybe at 6 months but I don't remember. Have confidence in yourselves as parents and in your ability to feed your son.

Hi T. - Kudos for working and breastfeeding! I mostly want to say that this will pass; from my limited experience and from what I've heard, your 4 1/2 mo old is acting like a totally normal 4 1/2 mo old. It would be weirder if he did sleep in bigger blocks. But here are some other thoughts, for what they're worth:

As to the big formula bottle he drinks, babies get milk out faster from a bottle, so they'll drink more in one sitting. He'd guzzle more breastmilk from a bottle than from your breast too. Plus I believe breastmilk is more calorie dense, so he can get just as sated from 3-4 oz. breastmilk as 5-6 oz. formula. _Plus_ the formula might upset his stomach and be counterproductive - waking him up instead of helping him sleep. Do you pump? It's a pain and a drag sometimes but it has worked well for our family.

Also, do you guys co-sleep at all? I found this a lifesaver for getting through the night, since I could just pull the baby over, plop my boob in her mouth, and we could both literally sleep while she ate. She would wake up every few hours just like your son, but it was much less disruptive to our nights - we could go 9-10 hours without actually getting up.

And this may not apply to you at all, but it did for me. You can provide opportunities for your baby to sleep: rocking, cuddling, etc, but he may or may not bite. Sometimes I just had to accept that my daughter was not going to sleep and roll with it. I found this very hard to do, but once I let go of my expectations for how much she should sleep and kind of rolled with her schedule, life got a lot easier.

Totally normal!! Don't stress!! My daughter didn't nap "well" till she was 6 months old (and after extensive internet looking, I found this was more normal than not) and was waking up 2x a night till she was about 5.5 months old (really, till we forced her to sleep through the night--she's 13 months old now and she'd probably still be up te eat if we let her!). Keep feeding him and be patient.

Also, it was very helpful for me to keep a log of when she was going to sleep/waking up and when and how much (or for how long when she was nursing) she was eating. I kept a very detailed log for a few weeks and started to notice patterns and was able to follow her lead, which was good for both of us.

Good luck!

I went through the exact same thing except my son's night-time sleep stretches were shorter than 4 hours.

Don't mix cereal in the bottle, it's an old remedy that works for a few kids but has no scientific basis when studied - it just happens to work for some, mostly because their digestive systems aren't ready to handle it so it just sits in their stomaches without being digested (does that really sound like a good option?).

A baby will ALWAYS take more from a bottle, whether or not he or she needs it. Your body may be making almost that much and you just don't realize it. Or, your baby gets what he needs at the time and is just fine. If you are worried about the amount he is really getting from you, bring him to support group at Community Hospital (PM me for days and times). You can weigh him before and after feeding him so you know just how much he takes. As long as he's peeing and pooping and gaining weight, you really shouldn't worry and don't need to supplement. There are things you can do to beef up your supply if you want to do that as well.

My son woke every 3 hours for the first 6 months. The truth is, in breastfed babies, as long as they aren't getting up to play only to eat, they are considered to be sleeping through the night. Breast milk is SOOOOOOOO good for them, partly because it's so easy to digest, which means it doesn't just sit there in his stomach making him feel full when he's not getting as much nutrition like from formula.

When he starts to show signs of wanting to eat (watching your every move at the dinner table, reaching for your plate, pretending to chew) start with regular food, not cereal. This will get more calories in him and help him sleep longer stretches. There's no reason to start before he shows signs of being ready (and yes, it could be later than 6 months, wait for him, don't force it). Start with things like avacado, mashed banana, and sweet potatoes. They are all very high in nutrients and calories. Cereal was developed to "teach a baby too young to eat, how to swallow against the tongue thrust reflex". It's iron fortified for formula feds who don't get the good iron from mama and can make breastfeds pretty constipated.

As for naps, here's what worked for us (Eli was taking 30 minute naps a few times a day and crying most of the rest of the time):
With information from a combination of books (PM me if you want titles) I learned to better recognise his sleep cues early on. I had gotten so used to him nursing and then sleeping that I was missing the signs that he was tired even when he wasn't nursing. I put him in the cradle (or car seat because of his reflux) and covered it with dark fabric or a blanket. I turned on a fan for white noise. He quickly fell in to a much better sleep pattern and developed a regular schedule within a few weeks. The best I found was
Eat
Play
Sleep
So when he woke up, I would immediately feed him. Then he'd have his awake time and as soon as he got a bit fussy, rubbed his eyes, or yawned, I'd put him back down.

I hope that is helpful.

"We've started supplementing because I don't think I'm providing enough. He'll eat up to 5-6oz with the sitter and there is NO way he nurses that much from me."

Please, have a little confidence in yourself, T.! Your body is smart and as long as you feed your boy on demand, you ARE producing enough. Babies tend to "chug" milk from bottles - frequently they actually overeat because it's easy - but I suspect that he gets that much from your breasts without much trouble. Even if you aren't pumping nearly that much, that actually has NOTHING to do with how much you're actually producing. There's really NO reason that you need to supplement. But, if you do keep supplementing then you will have to because your body will not keep up with your son's demand. I would encourage you to spend a weekend (or better yet, a long weekend) and just nurse your baby whenever he's hungry instead of supplementing. This will boost your supply back up and, if nothing else, you can save $$$ on formula.

So... for the sleep part:
Try and get him into a routine. At this age he can do it. I would not expect him to sleep through the night, but he can be on somewhat of a schedule. Here's what we did for our son around this age:
6:30 PM - bath
7:00 or 7:15 - nurse with mom (lights off in the room)
when finished (usually 10-20 minutes) sing some songs in the rocking chair, put in crib, and leave the room.

He probably ate 2x each night at this point. Usually the first stretch of sleep will be the longest (which isn't really ideal because if your baby goes to bed at 7:30 and sleeps for 6 hours, that only brings you to 1 AM! Still, better than nothing.) So I think in this regard your son sounds typical.

Anyway, another thing to do is avoid late-afternoon naps. You can probably also think about getting him on a nap schedule. Maybe he wakes up around 6:30 or 7:00 AM. Nap #1 might be around 9:00 and nap #2 might be around 1 or 2. I would NOT put him down for a nap any later than about 4:30. If he seems tired and it's only 5:30, just start the bedtime routine a little early instead.

T.,

Just quickly I will tell you that is how my first one was too. I don't have a solution because we never found one. However, a couple things to help you survive until you might find a solution - one day he won't want you to hold him, cuddle him, sleep with him, etc. Enjoy it now (even if you aren't sleeping much). Just be sure to support your husband and he support you. There were times when you just don't know what to do, that is when you really need each other. One thing that at least helped at night to get him to sleep, was a mile long stroller walk and he was out for at least a few hours. Good luck and hope things get better.

C.

he could be overly tired. Try putting him down or 1-2 hour naps during the day.

Good luck with this, and if you find something that works, let me know! I have a 14 month old who still wakes up twice each night. :( Talk about pooped!

T.,
I wish I had the answer because we are in the same boat as you. I would LOVE it if my DS only got up 2x/night- lately it has been about every 1-2 hours from 9pm on! So, be happy that it's only twice!!! :) I'm so tired I can barely function some days because I too am working PT and BF'ing.

Here's to the days we can FINALLY get some zzzz's!

:)
T.

Hi T.,
I'm also a mom of a 4 month old, as well as the mom of two older boys. It's so hard to be sleep deprived! I think that some of us get babies who sleep long stretches and some of us get these little guys who don't need as much (just like adults!). I recently read a book about babies and sleep in which the author said that a 4 or 5 hour stretch for babies is considered "through the night" by many and is VERY normal. It also helps me to remember two things: since these little ones are growing SO much, 1.) they need to eat A LOT (this is also due those tiny tummies and the efficiently digested superfood that breastmilk is) 2.) this stage really truly won't last long!
The book I referred to is "The No Cry Sleep Solution." It has some helpful hints I think.
Good luck and take care of yourself - rest when you can, take hot showers when you can, keep up on those vitamins, etc.! Every little bit of self-care helps!
Best,
C.

I nursed with both of my children and had the same problem with my first son. I was working full-time and was able to come home on my lunch hour and take an extended lunch to nurse and I also pumped my breast milk. My child did not sleep thru the night until he was a full year old. I found that with the second child, if a put about a teaspoon of baby cereal in the milk and had my husband feed the baby thru the bottle we could get a longer time period of sleep. Have your child checked for colic as well, they have over the counter colic drops that are a Godsend! Good luck and God Bless.
J.

My son--now 5 and a great sleeper did not really have more than 2 hr stretches until he was 10 months old! Hang in there--everu child is different and I would count myself lucky when your child sleeps for 4 hrs at a time. It will eventually lengthen. PS--my 2nd child slept great right from the start !

I have had lots of luck using the sleep suggestions from the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weissbluth (SP?) I have a 5 and 3 year old who are great sleepers and a 4 month old boy who sleeps anywhere from 6-10 hours at a stretch at night. He doesn't get great naps because we are on the go alot but I try to get him down whenever possible. I also breastfeed and have to supplement about 4 oz around dinner time when my milk is lowest.

Mix formula or breast milk with the rice cereal in bottle, that works wonders

It takes time for babies to learn to comfort themselves. After about 6 months or so, if you feel like he does not have to burp in the night when he wakes up, which would make him uncomfortable, then you want to let him cry himself to sleep, it may take an hour the first couple times, but if you let him figure it out, he'll become a great sleeper at night and napper. Make sure you tell your babysitter not to let him fall asleep while she's feeding him! Get those burps out and he'll feel better. Mom of 4 fabulous sleepers.

Have you tried swaddling him?

Hi T.,

I found that what helps my kids sleep isn't a lot of eating, it's a consistant routine.
My Dr did tell me to feed him every 3 to 3 1/2 hrs instead of 4 around your sons age. They need a certain amount of milk daily and they intuitively know it...

Anyway, what I did was start a routin, don't know if you do this but it worked for both, my son is 6 months and sleep 8:30 to 6 or 7 am BUT my daughter at 6 months was a bigger eater so she was more like 10 pm to 5 am.

So, I avoid the last nap as the other woman said - sorry didn't get her name. So he's really tired.
Around 7 I bathe him.
Then I feed him one more time at 8 to 8:30 and he's done.
I laid him down asleep at first, then a little awake. I am now training him to slef-soothe so what happens at night is that he wakes up and doesn't know how to self sooth so he needs you to feed him or hold him.

If you begin teaching him to self-soothe, when he wakes up in the middle of the night will go from you going in and giving him a paci or shhhhhhing him.... to not needing you. My son still needs me to walk in and touch his head, say ssshhhh, give him a paci and he's out. But my daughter no longer needs me, she has learned to self-sooth.

Hope this info helped some

Hi T.,

I don't have any words of advice or wisdom but can sympathize. I work full-time and my almost 5-month old DS does not take long naps (30 min at most) and wakes 4-5 times between 9pm and 6am. He's exclusively breastfed and prefers nursing to the bottle. He gets between 31/2 to 4 oz from the bottle and then nurses throughout the evening and night.
We found that co-sleeping works the best for us because like others have mentioned we both sleep while he nurses.
Hang in there! I hear that it will get better eventually.

Don't feel bad about supplementing. It's your choice and You should always follow your instincts about your kids as a mom. There is soo much pressure on new moms to breast feed and when a hiccup occurs so many women jump in to tell you youre wrong, when in reality pressure and stress are why hiccups occur. I had to supplement, because my body really did not produce enough, and even my la leche league consultant told me I had no choice. She also sat down with my husbands family and yelled at them for putting so much stress on the process.
That said
Your son is at the age that if you are ok with the CIO (Cry it out) technique then its a good time to start and to get him on a schedule. If not, then still try a schedule, but understand that waking up twice in a night is really pretty normal and could continue for a little while. Starting Rice cereal could help him with needing fewer night feedings too, as he's the right age to start learning to eat from a spoon.
You'll feel more rested soon. Im not a fan of CIO, though I did try it twice now with my son for three weeks each time and he's one of the rare cases where it did not work at all, which is why im not a fan. HE's 17 months now, and still sometimes wakes up 2 times a night due to teething pain. Good luck, and you're almost at that turning poing between zombified and human.

Of course it will pass! If you're getting tense about it, it'll take longer. You know there's nothing wrong with putting the baby in bed with you if he wakes up. I slept with my daughter next to me for a long time, because she'd wake up - with sleep apnea - almost every night. Or she'd just stop breathing for a beat too long. Since she was right next to me, I could feel that and just shake her to get her back on track and we'd both pretty much sleep through it. (I was half-concious, but that's all it took.)
It went away after a while, and then she could sleep through

congrats on your son!
you'd be surprised how much he can nurse from you. it's more than you can pump b/c babies are more efficient than a pump.
getting a 4-hour stretch at night is great for that age. and supplementing w/ formula will not necessarily make him sleep longer. babies aren't usually able to sleep longer periods at that age. my 7.5 mo DD is still up 2x/night in a 11-12hr time period. It's a rarity to have a baby that will sleep even 6hrs. It will get better and better. I have read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Weisbluth. It's a great one for understanding when a baby should be getting ready for sleep, how often they should nap, what the routine should be. It's a great guideline anyway, and I learned that the biggest thing at your DS age is to not let them stay awake for longer than 2 hrs. They should be wound-down for a nap w/in 2 hours of waking.
Also, if you're not working on Mon. a.m.s, i have a breastfeeding moms support group that meets every week at 10:30a.m. at Wheatland Salem Church (95th/Book) in Naperville. Please feel free to come! Email me if you want more info.
best of luck. take naps when you can. it gets better and better. :-)

I think it was around that time we decided it was time to sleep through the night. I started by nursing less and less during the night and then my hubby started stepping up to the plate and would go and comfort him, not to confuse him w/milk with me. It actually seemed to work for about a week. I had to sleep in a sep room with a loud fan so i wouldn't hear him crying and worry. Sounds a bit hearless but it worked. As far as naps... i can't remember when it went from every 2 hrs to basically 2 a day? perhaps putting him down at regular times after feedings he'll get the picture (?)

Sounds like your little guy isn't hungry but comfort feeding. That is his way of telling you he wants to be cuddled and tended too. He is still young enough to desire the attention but smart enough to figure out that mom and dad come when he calls. If he is consuming especially 5-6 ounces of formula, which is suppose to take longer to digest. Then he wants to be soothed for an apparent reason. He then gets fussy with you because he wants to feed and you are not letting down enough milk for him. Do not supplement him with anything else unless you get your pediatricians okay. Research has shown that introducing babies to early to solid foods including cereals can lead to food allergies later in life. Most people do that because there parents did that. If he is growing and putting out enough soiled diapers then he is getting enough to eat.

Another thing to consider if he might be teething. Some babies start out teething early and the most painful part for them is before there teeth are about to break through.

Regardless hang tight it's just a phase and he will outgrow it very soon. He senses your frustration because you are first time parents.

There is a book by Tracy Hogg called "The Baby Whisperer" She interprets every kind of cry a baby makes and what they want. I am amazed at how it helped a lot of new mothers interpret what their babies needed. Especially if you are a first time parent this book might be a relief for you and your husband. I highly recommend it. I recommend it to all first time parents.

Nursing infants can be a little tricky to schedule. Just when you think they're getting "better", they nurse more often! This is because their need for milk is growing as their bodies grow. Oftentimes, they nurse more often for a little while so that your milk production will increase to fill the bill. (We can't be sure exactly how much they're getting when they nurse. You might be surprised at how much it is!) Anyway, your supply increases, and before you know it, they're getting more sleep, and so are you!

Is it possible that you're overdoing things a bit? Since we all know babies are a fulltime job, and housework adds more, you are actually holding down two jobs! This will definately affect your milk production. Checking your priorities might help; if nursing is high on your list, you may have to look at getting extra rest (a mid-day nap?) to help your milk production.

Even though I didn't like the taste, my beloved mom-in-law advised a beer with lunch so that I'd rest more easily afterward. Another sleep-inducing routine would work, if Mom's idea isn't your "cup of tea". When you and your baby are both well-fed and well-rested, even your marriage will benefit.

p.s. Bottle feeding can wreck your nursing relationship with your baby, so that, too, should be carefully considered as you set your priorities. Whatever you decide to do, remember that you were the Mommy chosen by God for your baby, and your decision will be best!!!

Sounds like a pretty normal 4 1/2 month old to me.

At this age, babies have outgrown the newborn sleepy stage, and it isn't unusual for him to stay awake 4-5 hours at a stretch. And eating every 4 hours at night isn't too unusual either. My 13 month old still gets up once a night to nurse.

As he continues to grow, his sleep patterns will get easier. But for now, the easiest things to do would be to keep it dark and quiet, and nurse him as needed. Don't do anything that could stimulate him or possibly keep him awake. You could also try making his last meal of the day a teaspoon of baby cereal. This MAY help him sleep, but it doesn't always.

I won't go into the supplementing issue except to say - just because baby is taking a 5 oz bottle doesn't mean that he isn't geting enough from you. If he wasn't getting enough he wouldn't be thriving. And nothing you have said would even suggest he isn't doing just fine.

Good luck. I hope this helps.

M. J
mom to 8 great kids - ages 16 - 1
former breastfeeding counselor at WIC
WAHM

I know how you feel. My youngest boy who just turned 4 didn't start sleeping through the night until he was almost 3. I asked his doctor if there was anything my husband and I could do and he said not really. For some reason some kids just take longer to sleep through the night than other kids. It will pass over time and I hope that it doesn't take as long for your little one as it did for mine. Also you might want to try a warm bath with a mild soap of chamomile and lavender. Good luck I wish you both the best. D.

I am also a first time mom with a 3 mo. old daughter. If you haven't read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child"...I would get it ASAP. It helps a lot and gives you an idea as to what to expect from your baby. They overall key is to put him down in his crib before he is cranky. My daughter sleeps from about 7-midnight, eats and goes right back down for another 4-5 hours, eats, and then again for another 3 hours. So, she sleeps a lot at night but does need to eat about twice. During the day she takes naps that are at least 1 hour and is never awake for more than 2...another key part to this book.

Let me know how this goes...go get that book!

Your situation sounds very similar to mine when my daughter was that age (if not slightly better). At 4 months, my daughter woke every 2 hours during the night and at best napped for 45 minutes during the day. I received lots of "help" from moms who's children slept through the night at 4 weeks - none of their advice worked for me and only created a lot of frustration. To be honest, at 13 months my daughter still gets up between 2 and 5 times a night.

It is healthy for a child this age to be waking twice at night - especially if they are breastfed. I am still currently nursing my daughter and never could suppliment for allergy reasons.

Things do get better over time and children's schedules are constantly changing. You will probably find something that works for you and in a month or two may change again.

At 4 months we started instituting a routine - particularly at night. Our routine consisted of bathing in a warm tub (or baby massage with lavander oil) reading 1 or 2 stories and then nursing. Then, when I placed her in her crib (or bassinet at that age) I would turn her mobile on. If she was still awake after the mobile stopped playng, I would turn it on again. At this age, I found that using a cradle swing could buy me enough time to take a shower. Other than that, I would use a sling to get stuff done around the house, and she was very content with that.

There is actually more that you can do for yourself to help how you are feeling - including with frustration. First, be sure your significant other is helping out. We took turns in our house as to who got up with the baby. I also used nursing at night in bed with us to help me get more sleep while still comforting the little one. Be sure to get out in sunlight (or sit in a sunny window). Vitamin D and iron do a lot for making you feel better as well as more rested. If you cannot get enough sunlight, be sure to take a suppliment (a multi-vitamin should be enough but check with your doctor). And finally, take some time off. Call family over to help out or use a friend. If you only take a shower, so be it. But, if you can get out and pamper yourself without the little one a bit, it will lift your spirits immensely.

Good luck - things really do get better and you should see some improvements soon.

My daughter who is now 15 month was the same way. She never want to nap or sleep. Me and my husband felt so desperate. The only comfort we had during that time was the fact that she did not seem to want to sleep even when she before she was born. It wasn't until I started keeping a journal of her daily behaviors that I finally found her pattern. I wrote down everything from what time she woke up; what time she had her stool and how big to how much she drank at each feeding. After finding the pattern we decided to add a small bowl of rice ceareal to her last meal along with her regular feeding of milk. She started to sleep through the night. Hope this will help.

Hi
I'm 56 yr old grandma.do you drink alot of caffeine? You know when you breast feed you have limit all kinds of things,even chocolate.It passes through your milk to the baby.If thats not it you might have to feed him a little cereal with his milk.I had to with my boy's used Barley they all seemed to like it best. I have 1 girl,2boys,and6 grand-kids. Good Luck M. M.

Maybe try switching bottles. My son was the same way, and we found out the bottle nipple was the wrong shape for him and he was taking in too much air when drinking. This can cause the cramps and because he was not eating enough he was constantly hungry.

T.,

I don't think that you should feel bad about supplementing. If you don't want to though, I don't think that you have to. I breastfed my daughter while working full-time until she was 6 months old and then supplemented one bottle a night until she was 9 months old, which was more for my sanity than anything else. I would have loved it if my daughter only work up 2 times a night at 4 1/2 months, for us it was 3 times a night still. 4 hour stretches are pretty good.

I think children want to breastfeed rather than eat from the bottle, so my daughter continued to eat at night. It was comforting for both her and I, even though I would have loved a little more sleep. During that time I would go to bed at 9 pm every night to try and get as much sleep as I could.

For me the fifth month was the hardest, I think because we didn't start solids until she was 6 months old (she was at high risk for food allergies). If you think you might be ready to start solids, I have been told that adding some cereal may make life easier for you. Perhaps you could try some for dinner or an hour or so before bed time to see if that might help him last a little longer for his first stretch at night.

Good Luck,
D.

What you're describing actually sounds quite normal. One of the silver linings of having my babies in NICU before we brought them home was that our NICU nurses got them on a feeding schedule of every 4 hours. I can't tell you enough how wonderful this was. When the trio was finally home, I did everything in my power to stick to that schedule. At that age of 4 1/2 months, once they woke up in the morning, their "schedule" started - morning bottle, some play time then a nap, and 4 hours from their 1st bottle came the 2nd bottle and 4 hours later the next bottle and son one. In between bottles were naps and playtime. Eventually, they did start sleeping through longer periods through the night but the routine always started the same every morning. I think the consistency really helped to get to sleep through the night and nap during the day.

To help with his naps, I would just start giving him some "down" time during the day. Use a swing or bouncy - something that can strap him in so that he realizes this is time to chill out. He might not sleep at first but eventually if there's nothing to do, he just might start to nod off.

As for nursing vs. the bottle - the bottle is always going to be easier because babies don't have to work as hard. It's great that you're doing both! Good luck!

Try feeding him baby cereal. It means he's not getting enough to eat. doctors say that you shouldn't feed till a certain age. but my 2 boys was doing the same thing, and I fed them baby cereal and they slept very well and you will be sleeping to. They will let you know when they had enough, and don't make it too runny, or too thick. Make it just right for digesting. My boys slept so long I had to keep checking on them. When milk isn't satisfying them then they are ready for cereal.