3Yr Old Twins Wont sleep...any Advice? Help

I too have twins (almost 3), one that takes a nap very willingly and one that is impossible to put down for a nap. The one that sleeps easily gets to nap in the bed with Daddy, but the one that won't sleep has to stay in her room for one hour (I put the gate up) and find some quiet activity to do. Mostly she reads her Tag Jr. books, but sometimes the activities are not so quiet, like jumping off the bed. I just let her go, unless I think she may be endangering herself. If I put them in the same room at naptime, they would never sleep! At bedtime, it's a different story. They both go to bed fairly easily in the same room, although there's always exceptions. We do the calming down routine--change into PJ's, brush teeth, read a book, go potty, cuddle and sing songs, then it's off to bed. You could try separating them at naptime by putting the less rambunctious one in bed with you, then let her sleep by herself while you have some "me" time. Also, I would let them sleep as long as they can, instead of waking them up at 4 PM. I only start to panic when they sleep past 6 PM. Good luck to you--I couldn't imagine trying to do it by myself!

I'm sorry but as I read your post all I could do is smile and laugh! I have 7 year old fraternal twin girls and honey I know EXACTLY what you are going through. My girls have always been in the same room together because for the most part back in the day that was the only option. Now we have an extra bedroom but they still want to stay together-and its fine because they sleep well.
I remember working full-time and they were about the same age as yours and I would put them down at 8:30 or so and they would laugh, giggle, talk, scream, and play for hours! I tried everything and would be so frazzled by the end of the night I started regretting ever thinking I wanted kids-lol!
Then my world completely changed when another mom (my cousin) told me about an herb called Melatonin. Of course I asked the Pediatrician FIRST and she said it was absolutely fine to give to them. It was a drastic change from "Ok kids time for bed" and them fighting, screaming and crying at me to .....give them the Melatonin 30 minutes before bedtime and them coming up to me and telling me "Mommy I'm tired can I go to bed now? Naps were long gone at about age 2 for me but when I found out about the Melatonin...same thing I would give 30 minutes before their naptime and then lay them down ....I would have to go and wake them up after 2 hours but they got their nap in for the day and I was able to catch up on the things I needed to do such as bills, laundry, housework, etc. and keep my sanity most importantly. I know others wouldn't agree with what I do but its an all natural herb and my ped even said it was fine to give. Furthermore, sometimes you have to do what you got to do and any negative comments take with a grain of salt because they aren't the ones having to deal with the situation-I am or you are. I have also heard of people giving Melatonin to their dogs for seperation anxiety, or if the dogs have issues during thunderstorms it gives them a calming effect but I would check with my vet before doing so as well.
Hang in there sweetie I know what you are going through and it does get better but you also need to enforce that structured schedule if you don't you will be dealing with this issue for a very long time and I know you are trying to enforce it but these issues you are having with the twins is what makes twins different from those singletons :()p. I couldn't have survived the first year with my twins had I not set to my structured schedule and my husband would make fun of me but in the end he saw how much calmer the house ran for everyone on the days we stuck to the "plan". So in the end I was the genius :())
Mine are 7 now so any milestones you seem to be struggling with send me a message....I don't have ALL the answers but I can certainly suggest some things and tell you what worked for me. Good Luck!

I have 15 month old twin boys and a 5 yr old boy. My five year old still takes a nap every afternoon for about an hour or else he is miserable by dinner. You just have to tweak their schedules. Try putting them down at different times. 1pm, 2 pm, 3pm and see if they do better. My five year old was taking a nap at 1pm until he was about 3 yrs old then I had to move it back to 2-3pm because he wasn't tired until then. I did have the same problem of him sleeping too late and had to get him up. But after staying consistent his little body fell into a pattern and it worked better.
I was in a similar situation as you for about 6 months (living space was 2 rooms, my room and my 3 boys shared a room and my husband was working out of town. The kids sharing a room presented a problem but I had to put my twins down first (in your case your 2 year old first) and after they fell asleep I put my oldest down. Naptime and bedtime went this way. If they are still giving you trouble I would tell them they have to have rest time. 1-2 full hours in their room (reading, watching a movie or something quiet). Whether they fall asleep or not they are still getting some downtime. I bet they would fall asleep in now time after getting used to the routine and trying you for a bit. Stay consistent mom, I know it's tough when you don't have help. But it's for your sanity and theirs.

I have 3 kids ages 5, 3 and 1. They are a roudy bunch. Right now we are living with my sister b/c I recently went through a bad seperation. We are cramped in a 2 bedroom apt so you could imagine the sleeping quarters are tight. My son wakes first at 7:30 then the girls follow no later than 9am. I lay them all down around 1-2pm. I have to put the 1 year old down first and when she is sound asleep, I lay the two older ones down. One on the bed and one on the floor. I will then sit in the room until they fall asleep. They are seperated therefore no laughting and playing, and no waking up baby :) I just whisper to them...be quiet, lay down, close your eyes. Everytime they open their eyes or move...I repeat myself...close your eyes, don't move, go to sleep. Before you know it, they are out within 10-20 min. Then they sleep for 2-3 hours, and we go through the same process starting at 8:30 pm and everyone is asleep by 9-9:30. I can remember my mom laying down with us until we fell asleep. Now our world is not perfect...every now and then one will not be able to fall asleep, so I will let them get up, but they have to watch tv, play a video game or read a book until the other 2 wake up. Its mostly my oldest, my son who has ADHD who sometimes can't fall asleep, he will tell me...mom you know i can't sleep when my brain is awake...I can't make him lay down when that happens...its too funny. Good luck!!

I also have twins and getting them to sleep can be challenging. I don't know if this will work but instead of napping tell them that it is quiet time in their room. As long as they are quiet, reading or playing they don't have to nap. Then you can still have some time and hopefully they can fall asleep earlier in the night. It won't be easy to get them quiet but hopefully with lots of patience and reminders they will eventually get it. Good Luck!

I understand that as parents we miss that afternoon naptime more than the kid does. My daughter is 2 1/2 and has mostly stopped napping. She now gets tired and is in bed by eight, whereas, it used to be a two hour nap during the day and then to bed between 9 and 9:30. The point is that tey quite simply nee between ten and 14 hours of sleep and if they are getting what they need, that may not include the nap. My daughter sleeps 12 hours a night and that is apparently what she needs - only one hour less tahn what she got when she was napping. But she is a little older and doesn't need it. She was a little grumpy in the transition but isn't anymore. Now I am the grumpy one at about 3 o'clock! But if they can play by themselves, etc and you can power through your chores and get done what needs to be done that's what is important. I don't believe in fighting the kid's nature to the extreme and to your own frustration. An hour of fighting them can be better spent getting what needs to be done, even if interrupted or just enjoy reading a book while watching them play. The adjustment and training is really for us parents because 'we wanna' do what we wanna' do, darn it!!" I feel your pain

With each of my children, I stopped naps when getting them to nap became a struggle. We did quiet time or a video for an hour so they had some down time in the afternoon and I had a break. I moved up bedtime. Yes, they were grumpy around dinner time. But that was easier for me to deal with than fighting to get them to sleep twice a day. It only took about a month to get them used to a new schedule. The first couple weeks they needed a nap once or twice a week.
Good luck!