I just posted the other day on here about some of the things my 3.5 yo DD tends to do, and for the most part I've chalked it up to her being 3, as well as having a strong-willed personality. But then someone else posted on here yesterday about their son not seeming to understand the things he hears and it got me wondering if this is something else to be concerned about.
Sometimes I wonder if DD really understands what we are telling her, because she will end up saying the same things over and over. For example, I had to take her to the doctor today because she's had a bad cold and her ear was hurting (turns out yes, she has an ear infection and is now on antibiotics). I had told her before we left that we were going to the doctor and all she kept saying was, "I don't like going to the doctor." And I kept telling her I know she doesn't like it, but the doctor was going to make her feel better. And it was still "I don't like going to the doctor." over and over and over - not yelling or getting upset, but just repeating it 10 or 15 times until finally I had to tell her that was enough - I had already heard her the first time, I know she doesn't like going, but we had to go and I was not changing my mind.
Or she wants to go to the water park and it's winter - I'll tell her we can't, because it's winter and it's closed, but we can go when it is summer again. She'll still keep saying she wants to go, even after I've said I understand; yes, the water park is really fun and I know you want to go; etc. Sometimes I just have to finally tell her that I'm done talking about it and I'm not going to talk about it anymore, because otherwise it will never end.
Or she will keep asking me to do something like play a game with her, and either I can or I can't, but if I have to say no and I give a reason ("I need to get dinner ready.") she'll keep asking. And if I can, it's usually, "Yes, as soon as I finish XYZ.", but then she will ask AGAIN and I am like, "I just said YES - when I am done with XYZ!"
It got me wondering if this could be something abnormal, like an auditory processing disorder. She understands when we give her instructions, like please do this, or go get that, and she has no problem answering questions, like her name or her age. For a long time she would keep asking for things like blueberries or play-doh, even after I told her there wasn't any in the house, but I think that has started to ease up a bit (although sometimes she will insist that yes, there is - that's usually when I tell her to go find it then and show me where it is). She is in preschool 2 days a week and the preschool teacher has never indicated that there could be a problem. So is this normal, and maybe just her trying to see if she can get me to change my mind once I give an answer? What are maybe some better ways to respond when she starts sounding like a broken record?
Pete and Repeat strikes again! :) I know this can be a very trying time in a child's development for the parents. My daughter went through a similar time at the same age. Part of it I think is them trying to sway you to their side and part of it is just wanting to talk NONSTOP all the time and control any/every situation. This will pass as she gains better conversation skills. Keep doing what you're doing, she sounds very smart!
Um, my 14 year old sometimes still does this!!! Usually when I am on the phone or working then I get the same question over and over again.
This is normal 3 year old behavior - don't worry about it. You seem to have the right responses - just stay calm and gentle - and tell her when you are done with the conversation. Kids get a thought stuck in their head and just go with it forever until another thought gets stuck there. Come to think of it, I know adults who do that also. LOL
And to a three year old once there are blueberries and Play-Do in the house they are always just there. Concept of time is just developing - hence the repetition.
She'll outgrow it - at least until you are on the phone or uber busy. :)
Good Luck and God Bless
completely normal- my son is about to be 3 and he does this all the time. Im sure your daughter is perfectly normal! no worries!
You could ask the preschool teacher about it if it is a concern to you, but I think this is normal. My seven year old is mostly out of this habit now but I remember often telling him that I had heard him and that was enough.
Children have the energy us parents need! I think what you are seeing here is your daughter thinking that if she repeats a question, request or statement often enough, you will finally break down and give her the response that she desires. She has all the energy in the world to ask you again and again the same thing over and over, and she's probably very optomistic that you will cave in eventually if she asks often enough. I have yet to meet a child yet who is not like this. The examples that you have given are not too uncommon.
But it seems like you are very concerned about your daughter and think maybe you should have her evaluated by a developmental pediatrician or maybe a speech therapist just to rule out auditory processing disorder and the like. Possibly this will put your mind to rest if you get a favorable result or, maybe you will find that there is cause for your apprehension about her development. I think you should just get her evaluated so that you know for sure what is going on with her.
Wishing you and your daughter all the best.
Welcome to the 'trying threes'. My daughter grew out of that stage a little after her 4th bday. My son (now 2.5) is just starting it. WEEE!
Normal. You're doing just fine.
ETA- One of the things that got my daughter to stop is that I'd start to ask her things back (after I'd answered her question of course) and repeat myself with the questions. : ) I know... I'm a mean mom.
My 4 year old STILL does this. I have to tell her to be quiet after several times.
I believe in my case it is a her desire to gain control by repetition. She understands, but she'll say she doesn't, especially if she thinks it will delay a punishment or something. She is extremely strong willed.
I'd recommend reading James Dobson's Strong Willed Child. It was a true eye opener to what goes on in their minds and WHY the give us so many stressful issues. They WANT to break you down, they ENJOY winning and challenging us. If you give in once, they'll always wonder if you'll do it again.
Stick to your guns Mama. She's old enough to understand, she's just trying to get her way, either by convincing you by the repetition, or driving you nuts that you're willing to ANYTHING to get her to stop. :)
Best wishes!
I seem to remember you asking about developmental issues before, am I wrong? I did not look back. If you have had minor concerns, and more than a few, especially about langague develpment and the like, just go get an evaluation and put an end to the wondering. Evaluation is a win-win. You either walk out the door knowing what to do to help, or you walk out the door knowing you don't have anything to worry about.
What you describe could be echolalic speech, or it could be that she is stuck on a ridgid idea, or it could be related to central audio processing...many things, and it could be nothing. I would want to know when she is young enough to help her easily, and that time is right now.
You should call and make an appointment with a speech therapist. She may qualify for some services through your school district, but these are almost never enough, so go private first, then pick up what ever you can through the school. A school is only required to make your child functional, and you want to maximize her potential, huge difference. Get what you can for free, but be sure that you know every thing she needs to be all that she can, and see that she gets the rest.
If this is more than langague based, see a Developmental Pediatrician. You will know that you have missed nothing if you see one, and you will not have to wonder any more. They can be found at all major Childrens hospitals.
Good luck! Never wait on Development, and never spend time wondering IF your child needs help. Get the evaluation, and find out for sure. Children have too much to lose, and so much to gain if you should be worried...so stop worrying, and find out.
M.
Sounds normal to me.
My opinion is that she is 3 ... my 4yr old does it all the time ... it seems to me that she thinks the more she says it the closer she is to you giving in. I could be wrong but I think it is an age thing. From my experience they are more worried with contsant repeating of a phrase they hear and using it wrong ie: to infinity and beyond ... good for when you are pretending to be buzzlightyear but if you are getting that as a response to "johnny would you like more applesauce" there may be a problem there. So, like I said from what you described I see it as an age thing.
I tell my son, "you only need to say it once, if you ask for the same thing more than once you will not get it for the same amount of days as you asked" So if he asked for pop tarts 6 times he can not have them for 6 days.
My 3 1/2 year old does the same type of thing. He is a stubborn child, always has been, and I think he just has a hard time with not getting what he wants in certain situations where he really has his mind made up. It could maybe be classified as some kind of issue, but I have already seen him improve with it, he is great in all other areas, and it does not cause him any issues socially or at school, so I am not jumping to classify it as anything. We do sticker charts for good behavior in our house and there are a few things that a sticker can be removed for. Repeating when asked to stop is one of them for him. This has helped tremendously with helping him to learn to get off a topic and stay off it. Of course it probably wouldn't hurt to have her check or discuss with teacher, but if she is fine in all other areas, maybe give it another year and see how she does.
I think sometimes adults use to many words for their child, when you give a 3 year old a long sentence like we can go to the water park in the summer, that's to many words for a 3 year old, buy the time you get to the summer, she has no idea what all you said before that, use short answers for this age, and try to avoid long explinations. Repeating about the doctor, she was probably hoping you would not take her if she keep telling you, or she may have felt you were not listening to what she wanted or didn't want so she kept repeating. You can ask her ped, but at 3 I would not worry to much about this, little girls are talkers. J.
