3 Year Old Won't Sleep in His Bed...

Updated on November 17, 2007
A.G. asks from Greenwood, IN
5 answers

my 3 year old will not sleep in his room. I bought him night lights,glow in the dark stars on the ceiling, his favorite sheets, I read to him, tuck him in and even leave his door open with the hallway light on and check on him routinly. Some nights I just end up letting him sleep in my bed. I really need to stop this before the new baby comes, also I don't want my 2 year old daughter to start his behavior.

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So What Happened?

He does have a tv in his room already. but I will give it a try, my problem is also that we are going to florida for 2 weeks, so I will start when we get back. we are working on the potty training again ( he went backwords when his little sister came ) But I am not pushing him on the potty training but we are working on it with stickers and reqards! thanks for the support out there

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K.H.

answers from Chicago on

Hi A. G
I know where you are coming from. My son slept with us until he was 3. We knew it was pass time. We talk to him about, He cryed at first and would try to slip into our bed also. But we stuck to our guns. It was hard because it's easier to let him stay so you can sleep. But you have to return him to his room every time. It might take a while but it will happen. My son has been sleeping in his own room for over a year. It took a couple of weeks. But it paid off.
Good Luck !!!!!!

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A.W.

answers from Chicago on

I agree, you need to stick to your guns. Have a set bedtime routine to transition him. But when it's bedtime, it's bedtime. If he gets out of bed, don't engage him. No eye contact, no yelling, no anything. Just say firmly, it's time for bed. Then put him back in his bed. Period. Even if you wake up and find him in your bed, put him back in his. You can't take a middle ground here because he'll keep pushing.

People always talk about 2 year olds but I think 3 year olds are the most stubborn peopleon the planet. They could give mule lessons. ;) The key is to be more stubborn when it's something important like this. I know it'll be hard at first but it'll be worth it in the end.

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S.

answers from Chicago on

I too had the same trouble with my almost 3 year old son. I was 6 months pregnant with my 2nd son and I could not get my 3 year old to go to bed. Because I was always so tired I just gave in and let him sleep in my bed. Finally, enough was enough and at witts end I bought him a tv for his room. After we say our prayers I put the tv on and leave his bedroom light on and within 10 minutes he is asleep. I then turn the tv off but leave his bedroom light on all night. I am not an advid tv person but I was at witts end.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Chicago on

Hi A.:

As a parent of a 15 year old who slept with us until he was 3, I agree with all comments. You need to decide if it's a big deal and stay the course. But, it doesn't necessarily mean that your other kids will want to sleep with you, too. Does that make sense? My 9 year old spent most last summer in our room because he was having a hard time sleeping soundly. He started in his room, but there was a blanket and pillow in the corner on my floor (don't make it too comfy), but he knew if he woke up he was just to cover up in the corner in my room and not wake us! The blanket is still in the corner and hasn't been used since school started back up. My 11 year old daughter slept thru the night starting at 8 weeks and has never spent a night in our bed. See where I'm going with this?

I was a working parent with my oldest and it just seemed right to have him sleep with us. I was hugely stressed about it though becasue all the grandparents and "experts" said it was a bad thing. Knowing what I know now, I wish that I had just gone with my gut and not been stressed out about it. My daugher has slept on her own without a tear. It can be nerve wracking to listen to your child scream.

Maybe your little boy craves the quiet closeness he gets with you. Good Luck to you!

P.S. I completely don't agree with the TV, though.

On the potty training, my 15 year old wasn't potty trained until well after he turned 3. He is potty trained now, is 6'2, plays high school football, basketball and baseball. When I'm mad at him, I remind him I'm the one who used to clean his dirty butt!

Our first born sons sound an awful lot alike. The time does go just way too fast and he'll "conform" soon enough. Enjoy your trip!

1 mom found this helpful
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A.R.

answers from Chicago on

You've got to be consistent with the message you send him.

I'm not saying that it's wrong to let him sleep in your bed, but it is absolutely confusing to him if the routine is constantly changed. How is it fair to him if one night it is okay to go sleep with mommy but the next night he gets kicked out? I would guess that on the nights when you put your foot down you get a lot of resistance from him.

If you want him in his bed, then put him in his bed and insist that he stay in his bed. If you're fine with him being in your bed, then continue with that.

You know your family dynamic best. Pick the method that works for your family and be consistent. No more flip-flopping!

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