3 Year Old Waking in the Middle of the Night

My 2 1/2 yr old did this not too long ago. We started giving him a warm bath RIGHT before bed, and then massaging his legs and feet really well with lotion right before he went to sleep. I also thought it was growing pains, but massaging his legs/feet seemed to relax and help him. It only lasted a few weeks. Hope she is better soon.

I don't think growing pain is the problem from what you said, and would not keep giving motrin. She may just need her own space, three in a bed can make her confined or too warm either one. She maybe just needs soothed and laid back down and will fall asleep soon again, with a little lullaby.
Try having her sleep in her own bed, even if you need to sit beside her and read a story or something until she falls asleep, and she may be fine sleeping all night.

If she sleeps with between you and your husband it could be that she is just too warm. Kids get restless when they are too hot. My grandson used to sleep with us, when he would visit, now he tells me that he can't because he can't get his legs out from beneath the covers and he gets to hot. Try putting her in her bed, and you won't feel her moving anymore :-), of course this will take a while for all to get used to, but maybe everyone could get a great night sleep after a few sleepless nights. As far as the Motrin, I personally don't think it's a good idea to give a child medicine to help them sleep when they are not sick, reserve the meds for when they are truly sick. Hope this helps.

Cuddle time is great, but you really need her in her own bed and everyone will sleep better and be happier. Your husband needs your time as well. Kids are hard to raise and balance. You need to make sure your husband has time with you as well.

We are big fans of co-sleeping, but when it affects their sleep & yours it's time to move on. What we did for our first child was we got a toddler bed and put it at the foot of our bed. So we all still went to sleep "together", but she adjusted to sleeping on her own. When she was good with that (ie not waking and not wiggling off the bed or hopping in ours) we moved her to her own room. That was at about 2 yrs of age, because our second child was on the way and we didn't want the newborn to keep her up at night. I am also not a fan of using long term drugs...a good night time routine and a lavendar bath should suffice. Good luck, hope this helps.

Hi K.,
I understand wanting to cherish every moment. Too few parents remember that. I know this will be hard to do, but she needs to be in her own bed. It is not fair to her (or you) for her to be dependent on you and your husband for company at night, let alone dependent on OTC drugs. You are obviously frustrated and that is also not fair to her because she will sense your frustration. It will hard for a week or so but give it a try of having her sleep in her own bed.
Best,
A.

Maybe she is crowded and needs her own space.

To echo a few others and chime in with our own experience: we found our now 3 1/2 year old sleeps better in her own bed. We did co-sleeping until after she was 3 also (because of long work hours, moving multiple times in the last few years, etc).

We transitioned first to a "big girl" cushion / mattress right next to our bed, then to her own bed in our room (long story about house layout), and now to a big girl bed in her own room. Some nights she still wants someone to lay with her until she falls asleep and others she's fine to crawl right in and go to sleep on her own. There are still a few middle of the night wakings (usually b/c she is wet - much longer potty training story - or is overtired from the day previous).

We have a "treasure chest" of little rewards/toys/books for nights she sleeps in her big girl bed. At first, she would have to put one back if she needed to sleep with us in our bed. After about a month or two, she has mostly lost interest in it and no longer even asks to sleep in our bed.

I don't think the Motrin is a good idea, and may even be contributing to the poor sleep quality. We have found that medications make our daughter groggy, but she doesn't sleep as deeply and is more tired and irritable the next day.

Anyway, just 2 cents from our experience.

All the best.

Three year olds just seem to need a lot of space and wiggle room in the bed. They kick, they move, they turn sideways (and woe to the person who is on the foot side). They simply don't seem to like being cramped in the bed. (I have a 7 year old and a 4 1/2 year old who did the same thing.)

My advice? She needs to sleep in her own bed. It may be a difficult transition for you both, but if you're not getting sleep, it's not good for you or your family. And medicating her for a normal behavior is not good either. Motrin is h*** o* the digestive system, so use it with care. (Same for Tylenol and the liver.)

I love snuggling with my kids. They slept with us as little bitty ones. When they reached the kicking stage, out they went. Now we find other ways to snuggle. We watch movies and eat popcorn; we read stories in bed every night; we sit and talk about things; I snuggle in their beds at bedtime and listen them talk about their day. And in our bed? Well, I'm a SAHM and when my husband gets up for work, the littlest one usually hears him and comes in our bed to snuggle with me for a while (and the oldest did the same when he was about 4).

Think up some snuggly ideas of your own -- you work full-time, so maybe a Saturday morning snuggle time, a Friday movie night curled up on the couch, extra time snuggling at bedtime to hear about her day. You can do it!

It's hard to let them grow up and move to the next stage. We want the snuggly little baby (without the diapers and the crying). We have to let them have their own space. This is only the first of many ways in which you will have to give your child her own space.

I reccomend not medicating her to make her sleep. SHe may be getting to big (physically) to be comfortable in bed with you. I would start putting her in her own bed, you may have to start by letting her fall asleep in your bed, then moving her. She may like waking up in her own room. I know how difficult it can be letting them become independent but you both need that. My children are 23,19,17 and now 3. I was a single parent with the first 3 for many years. My husband would not appreciate our 3 year old in bed with us every night. He does soemtimes get frightened and come to our bed, we assure him that everthing is Ok and he is safe, then take him back to his bed.

When our now 10 year-old daughter was 3, she would wake in the middle of the night much like what you are describing. We thought maybe she needed to go to the bathroom, maybe it was night terrors, or some form of restless leg syndrome. We would sit her on the potty and she would go but in the process would rub her feet together so rough that she would rub her feet raw. She did the bathing, the Motrin/Tylenol, even video taped her so that her pedi would see, but what helped was time. She grew out of it in a few months. Keep reassuring her and doing whatever works for her.

Hi,

I have two kids that are 8 and 10. We never, ever, ever slept with our kids so I don't know what that is like. I wouldn't give her motrin unless recommended by my pediatrician. She may just be having a nightmare. Maybe she just needs more room. Your husband may be snoring and waking her up. My daughter wakes up every night. She doesn't know why she is up. Because she is like me I know she has to go to the potty. She is half asleep so I just tell her to go potty and she goes right back to sleep.

Best of luck.

She may be needing her space. Transition her out of your bed by putting a mattress on the floor and letting her sleep there. That way it won't matter if she flails around and maybe she will learn to get herself back to sleep. Then after she handles that get her sleeping in her own bed. She may want you to lay with her for a while. My daughter always slept in her own bed but wanted us to stay with her til she went to sleep. We did that for a while but then changed the routine so we read a story, turned on music, and we stayed for only 5 minutes. We left the music on and that seemed to work.

PUT HER IN HER OWN BED!!! Your sex life must be non-existant which, if you think your husband doesn't mind...your crazy! You need to spend precious time with your husband when she is sleeping, not precious time with her. If you don't move her now, at what age do you think that will that happen?

It is not good to give medication to your child on a daily basis when you dont know what is wrong with her. It could be that she is hungry late at night you know how if you are hungry you cant sleep right. I believe if you give her some hot cocoa before you go to sleep this will help out a lot.

Do your husband,yourself and your daughter a favor! Move her out of your bed and into her own room! It is not wise to give anyone medication that they do not need.
Blessings,
B.

Maybe it's time to move on. I did co-sleeping and/or cradle till each of my kids were between 4-6 months old. I never could do it past that, I love my alone time and privacy. Not trying to be rude or anything, but how would someone get the intimacy if you had a 3 year old in bed with you all the time?? Just curious.

Just a few suggestions. Daily Motrin is NOT a good idea, especially if you do not know what is wrong with her (or anyone for that matter). I was a nurse in my pre SAHM days, gotta tell you long term Motrin use has some vicious side effects. In the short time that they are sick, fine, but not long term. Try a warm bath and messaging her legs before bed. I was a big fan of co sleeping until my eldest hit 3 1/2. Then he would wake us up with all of his wiggling. Now they all sleep in their own beds. Now I'm much happier and so is my husband who used to go sleep on the couch (I'd rather have him in the bed with me than then kids) because now we get a full nights sleep.

this may be hard to hear but perhaps she is outgrowing sleeping with you and dad and needs her own space. It could be there is not enough room for all of you and she may be uncomfortable. Also, I do not believe it is safe to give her motrin every night and good for your intimate moments with you and your hubby, consider putting her in her own bed, the later you wait the harder it will be, I know because our 3 yr old slept with us on & off since birth and we put her in her own room in her own bed and now she sleeps more comfortable and I have my bed and intimate moments back.

This is a long shot, but is it possible her feet are cold? Moving around and pulling them in close could be her way of trying to warm them up.

As far as sleeping with you- don't feel guilty! Do what you are comfortable with and don't let others say anything about it. I rocked both my girls to sleep every night for as long as they let me and I wouldn't trade that snuggle/ bonding time for anything. Lots of people told me I was doing a bad thing because they would never learn to sooth themselves to sleep, etc... but they are 3 and 6 now and great sleepers.