Hi all, my 3 year old has finally learned to put himself to sleep in the last week (up til then, we had stayed in his room lying next to his bed until he dozed off) but now that he's in the room by himself, he tosses and turns for up to an hour (sometimes more) before he finally drifts off to sleep. This has resulted in him getting less sleep b/c he still wakes up like clockwork around 6:30am and last night he only got a total of 8 hrs sleep when he usually gets 10. He looked so incredibly tired this morning and I'm getting concerned. I don't want to backtrack and sleep next to him again but at the same time, I really don't want him to be lacking sleep. What do I do?? Any suggesitons, please let me know. Thank you!
Do you do a bath, story time before bed? Maybe sit in his room and read and then talk for a minute with light out or something to quiet him and then go. He'll learn to sleep on his own but I wouldn't start the sleeping by him again at this point. Maybe some quiet music in the house would help him drift off too.
Keep in mind your new routine is still very very new! If he has only been going to sleep on his own for a week, I would say you need to give this more time before making any changes. It might take him a few more weeks to really get used to the new routine. I think I read someplace that it takes about 3 weeks for something to become a new "habit". Try to do the exact same routine at the exact same time every single night (as much as possible). We do bath or wash at the sink, then PJs, then 2 stories, then I will rub his back for 2 minutes, and that is it. He usually falls asleep pretty fast, but he does sometimes have nights where it take a while.
I would not change a thing, my guy turned 3 in April and never really had a problem going to sleep but is sometimes restless, tossing, turning, talking to his loveys for about 30 minutes before going to sleep, sometimes it's instantaneous. Your son is working on a new routine, he will get it in time.
If he is getting plenty of physical exercise the only thing I would suggest is making sure he gets a nap or "rest time" in the afternoon after lunch to help with the sleep he may not get at night, and/or putting him down a bit earlier to allow for the restlessness.
He'll adjust.
The span of time he takes tossing and turning will get less.
And he will be fine.
He has learned to put himself to sleep.
He is 3.
That is the age.
He's learning to do it himself. He's fine. At three years old, he's FINALLY learning the skill of putting himself to sleep without help or soothing from Mom and Dad. You really need to let him work it out as long as he's not asking for help.
There are adults who take a while to fall asleep. Some even longer than your son is taking. Give him time to get used to this new routine and things will settle and adjust. If he wakes up a little tired then he wakes up a little tired. Maybe he'll nap to make up for it. Maybe you put him to bed half an hour earlier.
I think you (and he) are doing a great job right now.
What is your bedtime routine? I would look at that and see if he has the right winding down routine or if he needs more time to wind down before going to his bed.
ah. you sound like me! :)
mine is 2 1/2 and after our bath, book and story in the rocker, I lay next to her and hold her hand for a little while. used to be until she fell asleep. now she let's me let go and we "rest our arms" and she falls asleep. usually with me falling asleep on the floor on a therma rest next to her. I figured if you can't beat them, join them. so i get some extra sleep too. hahhaa
anyway- i too am so worried about her getting enough sleep. so i don't know if i'm going to be any good - but to tell you that i am a firm believer in when they are ready, they will be ready. they are little. some need you to be there when they fall asleep, some don't. mine does. and really, i actually don't mind it. it's not going to last long. she won't want me there soon enough.
some of the things i have started to do to help her fall to sleep a little easier and not toss and turn though -
- trying to start her nap earlier so she's up by 430 at the latest. she's a big napper still too - she goes down hard for 2-3 hrs still.
- getting her to be active between the end of naptime and bedtime. we got a great bouncy from toys r us and it's in our basement - the thing is great - has a slide and everything. she's on that, or we go outside and play at the park, and/or take the dog for a walk, go see a friend/cousins for an hour ...something to get some energy out.
- eating dinner and getting her drink in before bathtime and with time to let it settle. i have even started to limit the nighttime water...i think that has helped.
good luck!! and if he needs you next to him and you can/have the time - well, then just lay next to him. that's what we're there for, eh? :)
This is a great question and I'm looking forward to the answers, as my son is just like this, but he's 13 now. He has a hard time falling asleep.
I would like to believe they adjust like recommended, but it's been 10 years for us. And my son has now developed migraines as well. I don't know if there's a link.
Just last night we agreed upon a calming down period, getting ready for bed, reading, and lights out at a specific time, etc.
I do know that on days my son has had a lot of exercise, he falls asleep well. When he was your sons age, a daily trip to the park was a must.
