3 Year Old mIilestones, Is My Son Delayed?

Updated on March 10, 2012
E.V. asks from Tempe, AZ
11 answers

So, my son was born with cleft lip and palate. He got his two surgeries before he turned 1. Some people told me that general anaesthesia will affect his brain, but doctors said no. When all of other kids went to speech therapist, I didn't take my son. At that time, we were not rich and to see the therapist, we must fly to the capital of my country. A psychologist also told me that many cleft lip kids turned to be not confident because therapists in my country like to point the mistakes and discourage the kids.
However, I have some mothers friends in FB that show that their kids, who went to the therapy, already speak lot and fluently. I was like DOWN. I tried to tell myself that every kids develop differently, but now as he turns 42 months old, I begin questioning again.
He can sing many songs, but he hasn't create his own sentence. Like some of the kids I know, they already tell their opinions, but myson hasn't. He only say one word. He is talkative actually, he likes mumbling, singing and pointing. I am talkative and try to engage him in all of my activities. My hubby talked to his classmate, who is a speech therapist, and she said yes it is late. But, since we are from non english speaking country, she can't help much about it. She also said that it might be a confusion because we talk 3 languages at home. That's why. But not only that.
My son can't draw like other kids do. I saw my friend posted her sons drawing and I am so worried because my son hasn't reach it yet. He can only draw circles. He shows no interest on coloring, too. Even though I teach him to do it.
Could it be because he is the only kid? Because he has no friends, except me? I took him to the park, but he is busy with himself and never chat with other kids.
Is it because the anaesthesia? Other people get their kids the 2nd surgery when they turned 2. I should have been more cautious.
Everyone told me to take him to the doctor, but I can't because we are low income family. The state where we live also doesn't allow us to get any public medical assistance. Actually, he is just like other normal kid. He eats well, good stimulation, so I don't know what's wrong.
I wish I can meet a mother with cleft lip,too. So I can ask her face to face. If you have a friend with cleft lip and live in AZ,please let me know. I want to know how is the speech should be. I never meet any other mom, because the mother friends in my FB meet in online world,too. Thanks.

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Featured Answers

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

Here is a link on development in a 3 year old. You might like to read it.
http://www.nncc.org/Child.Dev/mile3.html
There are other baby/child sites which have this info. Pick one you think is knowledgeable.

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A.M.

answers from Phoenix on

If the school district doesn't want to start him until the next school year, you can contact First Things First and receive some services until he starts school. They will come to your house and it's a free service to all kids up to age 5.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.C.

answers from Flagstaff on

Yes, the school district will definitely test him and provide services. They can help with his speech and with other issues (if there are any). It sounds like your son has had a rough start in the speech area, and it is good that you are aware of his needs. It is still early, so he could get caught up and excel in school. Unfortunately, speech is one area that affects many other things, such as his ability to learn to read later. I'm glad you're on top of this.

My son was speech delayed (said nothing at age 3), but he is now 7 and in the first grade and excelling academically. I can tell that you are a good mom who really loves her son and wants what is best for him. Love him for who he is and he will blossom!

P.S. My son also had anesthesia at a young age, and is fine. There were no lasting side effects.

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M.B.

answers from Phoenix on

Please call the school district you live in. They have monthly screenings at a specific school that will determine if they want to test your son. They will look at all areas including speech, fine motor (drawing), gross motor (running jumping), cognitive (how the brain works). If they see delays in one or more areas, they will set up an evaluation. Once the eval is done, they will qualify him for preschool or not. If he qualifies for preschool, it is free and he gets all his services there. This is all districts as it is federally mandated in the IDEA act. They will also give you a huge pack of papers that tell you your rights as a parent. In it will be phone numbers for local agencies that can offer help at reduced or free services. I can't tell you if your son is delayed but it sounds like he may need some help and the process will tell you one way or another if he needs help. All kids develop differently. Mine didn't talk until he was three (he waited to talk in full sentences!) he hated drawing and coloring so didn't do that either. We had to find other ways to develop his fine motor skills like legos and doing mazes. Just a note - if he does not truly have a lot of words, then start with single words or two words when he points at something then as he imitates these words, move to longer phrases. Good luck.

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

Go to the library and ask for books on child development. You should be able to find one for any age, or collectively from 0 mos - 5 yrs old, that will tell you what function and skills children need to master each year. Good luck finding support.

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K.H.

answers from Boston on

Have you looked into having him evaluated by the school district? At age 3, my daughter was tested for speech delays at our public school and qualified for free speech therapy. I'm not sure if this is true for all schools, but you should look into it.

Kids really do develop at all different rates. With that said, if something with your mother's tuition is indicating something isn't quite right, you should look into it.

You could also call a pediatrician's office and see if there are any local agencies you could talk to that might do a free evaluation for you. They might be able to point you in the direction of some resources.

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

Kids develop at different stages so don't worry so much. The 3 languages may be confusing him a little. He sings, plays, has a good appitite. As far as coloring goes 3 yr old usually don't have good small muscle control. They just haven't developed the control over the muscles in their hands. You could have him string beads, give him big pieces of paper and like old newspaper and have him draw or make circles, squares whatever he wants. Is he able to use spoons and forks well? Can he get the food from his plate to the spoon then to his mouth without spilling a lot?

I would contact the Easter Seals Society. They deal with all kinds of disabilities in children. They should have resources for you and be able to tell you where to find help.

I would also start looking for activities for you and him to get involved with. Check out the local library for programs for children. I think he needs to spend more time with kids, so he can learn to play with kids.

I doubt if the anesthesia did any harm to his brain.

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

Kids develop differently. They put their energy into different things, so while some can draw, others can't. In fact, if they aren't interested in doing something, they aren't going to develop those skills. If your son is really pointing, make sure you are giving him the words. So when he points for a cup of water, say "please may I have a cup of water." You have to feed them the words.

My daughter didn't draw till almost 4. And she is still behind her peers in lots of way. I don't worry about it. She is the most imaginative kids I know (there is a crocodile bridge at the park, etc.)

Sounds like you need to get involved in some activities. Story time at the library is great. You could try meet-up for a mom's group.

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E.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

You should be able to have him evaluated by your school district to see if he qualifies for free services.

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S.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Call your local school/school district and tell them that you need him evaluated. It is all FREE!! He can be in preschool and get services, all for free. This has nothing to do with what medical insurance you have.....it is all state funded.

Don't delay...I am not telling you that your son is delayed....but put your mind to rest. Either they will test him and say he is not delayed...or they will give you help.

FYI - before the age of three, they would be in the Early Intervention Program in AZ....now that he is over 3 it is all done in the school district.

Two of my kids have been through the program...so if you have any questions, PM me!

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S.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

A Dr. told my friend to stop the 3 languages at home that their brains just can't process that much at such a young age... she did and they kids were great. 2 I don't think is a problem... but 3 + languages are.

Also - try some sign language w/ him.. that will hep if he's getting frustrated. If you're a resident of AZ there has to be early Intervention programs that the city/town you live in offers through the School system. At 3 he would be eligible for an evaluation and then services that are free.

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