Hi T.. Your son most likely doesn't have diabetes. If he DID have diabetes he would be so thirsty that he would welcome water and not insist on sugary drinks.
Craving sugar is a sure sign of a strong will or a sugar addiction! Most likely the accidents are from sugar overload.
And I do want to add, that kids are developing Type 2 diabetes at younger and younger ages. There are 3 year olds with Type 2 and since you have a history of it in your family I would eliminate ALL excess sugar from his diet.
My daughter has Type 1 diabetes.This type is NOT caused by excess sugar intake, but let me tell you! It's the hardest thing I have ever experienced. If I would have had an opportunity to prevent it, I would have!
I know it's hard to deny sweets, especially if they REALLY want them, but you will be building a foundation to GREAT health if you eliminate sugars.
Stay away from fake sugars like Splenda. Safe sweeteners include stevia and xylitol but xylitol does cause a laxitive effect in large quantities.
There are several drink mixes made with stevia that have zero effect on the blood sugar. One brand is made by Celestial Seasonings and you can get it in the same aisle as crystal lite. They come in pouches that you add to a bottle of water. It's a WONDERFUL alternative to a sugar drink!
Good job mom for seeing that something needs to be done for your child's health! Stand strong and say no to sugar! :)