My 3 year old son has been using the potty for a long time now, but he NEVER tells me when he has to pee. I have to take him every hour or he'll wet his pants. I have tried extending the time by increments of 10 minutes, but he ends up wetting his pants. Sometimes, we'll have just taken him to the potty and 10 minutes later he wets his pants anyway.
He likes to do it, thinks it's fun, isn't scared or resistant. He almost always tells me when he has to poop (thought it's always at the last minute and we have to rush to the potty).
I really don't think it is a bladder control issue. He sleeps in underwear and stays dry through the night (with rare exceptions, usually due to drinking too much right before bed). Also, he has on occasion gone as long as 2 hours without having to go and without wetting his pants.
Sometimes he will go as long as two weeks with no accidents and then he will have 3 accidents in one day. (How much he drinks doesn’t seem to be the issue.)
When he is going, I’ll say, “Are you done yet?” Sometimes he’ll say no, but he really is finished, and other times he’ll say yes while he is in midstream.
It used to bother him when he wet his pants, but he doesn’t seem very concerned about it anymore.
He needs my help to go because he is very small, so he has a hard time getting on and off the potty by himself and he can not seem to master the skill of pointing into the potty even though he tries and wants to (heck, even I mess that up sometimes). I wonder if maybe the need for my help every time is what is keeping him from taking initiative to tell me.
What do I do to get him to tell me that he needs to go and to stop going in his pants? His sister was fully potty trained in one day! I guess I am paying my Mommy dues now.
This is just one of the steps on the way to using the potty independently. My son is 5 and I was kind of at this stage with him for about a year. Little kids are still getting used to the signals from their body and are easily distracted by playing. I still have to firmly send my 5 year old to the bathroom at some times, like before leaving the house. He still says he doesn't have to go and then always does when he gets there.
His body may not be mature enough so that he can recognize the signs of needing to go to the potty. Or as you said, he may just be relying on you to tell him because he can't do it independently.
I suggest getting him a small potty or putting a step stool in front of the toilet so that he can do it himself and then just ignore him. Explain to him that he's a big boy now and can do it himself. Make a big deal of the new way of using the toilet. After a week or so of taking him to the potty and leaving the room after he gets on the potty so you can see he can do it himself, let him work it out. Then just remind him to go on a loose schedule so that it will help him realize he has to go every couple of hours or so. Then ignore him. Leave him in his wet underwear for 15 or so minutes. Long enough for him to feel the discomfort.
If he still has accidents, I suggest that his body isn't letting him know he has to go. I'd call the pediatrician's advice nurse and ask about that possibility.
It sounds as though you're having him stand to pee? He may not be ready for that yet. But, at this point, he may oppose sitting to pee. My son was able to master it all by sitting on the pot, the trick for him was to sit on the pot facing *backwards*. By sitting backwards they are more secure and don't need to hang on which frees up their hands for directing flow and for wiping too.
Standing, a little guy almost definitely needs a good solid step stool. Positioning it and him to the side of the toilet instead of the front makes it easier and also gives him the tank of the toilet to hold onto if he feels insecure. Another little trick is Cheerios. Cheerios have for a long time been a great aiming aid for little guys. Throw 3-5, or more, Cheerios in the water and have him try to hit them with his stream. Use more at the beginning to give him greater opportunity for success.
Oh, as far as the mad dash to the bathroom, I don't think I've ever known a little boy that didn't get so involved in playing that a mad dash was either necessary or already too late.
Last, but definitely not least, realize he's doing really well already. Little boys usually train later. Right now though, it really sounds like *you* are the one potty trained. Maybe you need to take a couple steps backwards, ask him once in a while if he has to go, but wait for HIM to be ready. It sounds like he may have the physical control, but mentally, maturity-wise, he just doesn't sound ready.
If he really does have to go every 60 minutes, you may want to talk it over with his pediatrician. A dozen or so wet diapers is what you expect from a newborn, not a 2-year-old. You may want to discuss the training issue with him/her too. Good luck and relax, ask yourself the question... "How important is it?" That question has saved my sanity on many occassions.
Many kids, boys especially, aren't fully trained till 4. I'd keep your attitude as light an nonjudgmental as you can, turning this responsibility over to him as much as possible, so he can feel independent and more in control of his life, which is what this seems to be about for him - normal for this age, for sure.
all kids are different but what really helped my son was his sticker chart. I made him a rewards chart so he gets a sticker each time he goes potty in the toilet and after he gets so many stickers he gets a reward of some kind. he has long surpassed all of his rewards but he still loves to pile the stickers on. good luck
*My child's grandma told me to ask my son 10-15 mins after he drinks something if he needs to go potty then I take him.
*Hubby made a pee pee stool. Short to the ground not tall at all, stable & is put next to toilet to drag out & put in front of toilet (kind of a pain but works) and we put the ring up obviously
*Would it be bad to re-introduce potty treats so he doesn't have accidents and has incentive? I know when my hubby takes me out to eat I'm nicer. ha ha. Just kidding moms!
Also, maybe TELL him when "no pee pee comes out of your pee pee hole then you are done. See no more pee coming out."
My son is in daycare. All of them will tell you that most kids aren't ready to be fully pottytrained until the age of 4.
They have kids from newborn through schoolage kids during the summer. They hold preschool there as well...
My daughter was potty trained in under a week... When she was ready. She was 3.5.
My son is going to be 3 next month and while he never minds sitting on the potty or telling us that he needs to, he nearly never goes on the potty... Mine's just not ready yet.
I know some kids that are 8, 9, 10 that still have accidents at night. All kids are different. My daughter and son are night and day. Don't expect the same from one that you got from the other.
My dad built a little stool to put in front of the toilet to make it easier for my kids to get on the big toilet. Neither ever used a potty chair. Oh, they dragged them around the house and stashed toys in them, but wouldn't use them for potty. Period.
Little kids can play and be forgetful, so you really do have to keep up with just taking them to the bathroom. As you've observed, he'll say he's not done when he is, says he is when he isn't. He's getting used to reading his body sensations and it sounds to me like he's really doing great. He stays dry through the night, he has control. I really think that during the day, he just gets busy with other things. That's very normal.
You just have to be consistant and know that accidents happen.
All little kids get it differently.
Some will tell you that boys are harder, but my son was actually easier so that's not always true.
Like I said, it sounds like he's doing awesome to me.
Just keep working on it. He's getting the hang of it.
Best wishes.
Kids are different. Plain and simple. At least he gets some of it right. Maybe if you gave him a lot of positive for being able to tell you about pooping, he'd get around to doing the same with peeing.
You could throw in there the idea that he can't sit in certain areas with wet pants. Or offer to teach him how to hand wash his wet pants. That'd get old real quick and maybe to avoid it he'd show more effort.
But he's only 3! He can't be expected to get everything right and think like an older person. If he's potty trained by the time kindergarten rolls around, you're doing good! Just keep up the encouragement before then. He'll get it. If he's balking but likes the idea of going to school, suggest he can't go to school if he can't go to the potty properly. No school if he wets his pants. That might convince him
My son was 3 1/2 so don't stress out. I was in the same boat as you. People tend to put pressure on you but the truth is, when they're ready they're ready and not before. You can try to force it, but I guarantee you'll have set backs and I almost think that's worse.
I used the "3 day potty training technique" which I found on the internet. It was $24 to download the PDF file but I figured that was the cost of one box of diapers so I went for it. My son was trained in 3 days, really 2. We never had set backs. We had occasional accidents but never the nightmares that I hear other moms talk about.
Good luck and I promise, it's okay. He'll be ready soon and you'll be a happy mom!!!
