3 Year Old Boy Is Afraid of Animals and Characters

sounds like my 4 yo son (started when he was 2 out of the blue)... and EVERYBODY in the world thinks they can just fix him, like neighbors or even complete strangers will stop when he's having a fearful moment of a dog or a clown and say, "you're safe...blah blah blah." and they just can't believe how panic-stricken he is, mainly b/c he's so easy-going, loving, happy most of the time. truth is, we've tried to help him pet the animals, we've smiled and picked him up and told him how everything is OK, you're safe, it has taken two years of extreme patience and constantly telling him that he's safe for him to even show progress! His 2 yo brother runs for the dogs/characters; and the 4yo runs the other way, not fun. I don't think there is a quick fix, it's just a long process. good luck.

K.,
Does your 3 yr old WANT to go to the parade? Does he know about the costumes, characters that will be there? And don't feel bad if you choose for him not to attend. It's probably more important to the adults than the younger kids and toddlers.
Why does he need to go if he will be terrified? Consider not taking him this time, until you can work with him gently until he outgrows it, which HE WILL, but on his own time schedule. This isn't abnormal, but I would suggest monitoring very diligently which dvd's, cartoons, books, etc. that he's exposed to. Sometimes even what appears innocent to us, it quite frightening to a toddler.

The more you give to his fears the more of an overreaction he will give back to you. If you are calm and act like it's no big deal then he will see that. That also means not getting over excited about dogs and another animals. If you get all ecited about them and then make a big scene trying to get him to pet something he doesn't want to then he'll just freak out more. If you pet the animal and send it on his way pretty soon he's going to want to try. Characters freak out most children. If he wants to participate in the parade let him and since it's preschool many parents have to go so you could also be in the parade to hold his hand if he needs it. By the time he's 10 he'll want to have snakes and other scaly creatures and anything that breathes with fur on it. And he'll wear masks that scare small children. Enjoy this phase while it lasts. He'll be ok.

He will outgrow it eventually. The character thing took my now 5-year-old a long time to accept and my 3-yr old daughter is terrified -- so we avoid it if possible. As for the animal thing, my son was terrified of all animals, but we have slowly introduced him to friendly dogs and cats and he is petting them and likes them (we have no pets at home). My daughter-- still terrified-- she told her teachers at school she was allergic to bunnies because she didn't want to pet one. But.... she will outgrow it too. It's a phase. I would go to the parade and just keep your youngest close to you and don't let the characters near him (they know some kids are scared)-- by watching your oldest, he might see it's ok.

Mel

I have a grandson, now 8, who was also freaked about clowns. He isn't now. I think they go through a stage when they can't verbalize and it comes out as screams from fear. I would read lots of books, tell lots of stories, avoid places where mascots and animals will be. He will outgrow it. Just try to keep your life sane right now.

The character fear is a total normal phase, all three of mine went through this at the exact same age as your son. I have to admit, those critters can be strange,especially through the eyes of a tiny child. Even Santa at the mall sent my kids in a tiff. As for the animals, I'm not sure how to take that other than continue to expose, hopefully this is another phase that he is experiencing and I'm sure with enough positive exposure, he will grow through this. My kids have had a dog since they were born, she's 12, and they are way too friendly with all animals and have no fear, I'm not sure which is worse! When they hit about age 4, you'll see a big improvement especially in the character fear. The animal fear may last until he establishes trust on his own level. Good luck!

I agree that this is all just a phase and he will outgrow it eventually. I have 2 boys that are 5 and almost 3. My oldest has always been terrified of all animals and my youngest is pretty much the same because he's seen how his brother reacts to them. He ended up saying he wanted to tell everyone that he was allergic to them because I think he was embarrassed that he was so scared. But finally, he is starting to come around and, although he is still a little scared, he will at least attempt to pet dogs and farm animals as long as he's not near their faces. And now they both keep bringing up that they want to get a dog of their own. So coming from a mom of a son that was completely terrified of dogs (any size) for 5 years, I do think he will outgrow it. You just have to give him time to do it on his own. The same goes for the characters too. My sons were fine with them, but my sister-in-law's youngest was scared of them and now at 4 is starting to get over it.

The character thing doesn't surprise me, some of them are a little creepy even to an adult. As for the animals, I have an 11 year old daughter that is scared stiff by just about anything with fur. No clue why. Like yours never bit, never attacked, nothing like that. We have, of all things, a black lab. We have had him since she was 2 and she is fine with him. My sister's chihuahua is another thing, she screams and won't walk past him if he is barking. It's like that with any friends' animals, even the really small ones. You can forget petting zoos. My 2 younger children have no problems with animals. The people that try to "fix it" are worse then the problem, most of the time. It is frustrating, but we have beed doing this for about 8 years now. It has gotten a little better over the years, she no longer actually runs in the other direction. Now she can a least be in the same room and if she is sitting she does better for some reason. I think it is because they are below her. All I can tell you is what I do. I tell her to keep walking. I politely tell others that she just really prefres not to be near animals. I hope this helps

Hi K. D

It sounds like he has seen scarry things on TV or around him. Just hold him and let him know you are there for him and to not be afraid. Start having reading time with him when you can. Something has cause this trama. He has been scare terribly by something. I hope you can find out what it is.

Have good day Today

Vicki W.

Make sure he knows that characters are really just people in costumes. Maybe having someone he knows dress up and then unmasked themselves might help. It could back fire though and he could then not like the person who dresses up so beware. If the 5 yr old doesn't have this issue it may help if he is friendly towards a character, may openly being amused by one. He can show his little brother that these things are fun and entertaining, something to laugh at, not be scared by. (I had to use this approach with my 1 yr old. He wouldn't go near my in-laws until recently. Them babysitting without mom there was completely out of the question. But he idealizes big brother so after a few times of seeing Big Bro have such a great time playing with them he decided he could too.)

Have you tried little toy animals to play with him with and have them talk to him nicely, etc. Then maybe graduate to puppets and then maybe animals at Petsmart behind glass. These things might help to gradually desensitize him. Oh and read books about nice animals, kids with pets that saved them, etc. Good luck.

We had exactly the same situation of unprovoked fear and terror in our daughter. We decided that counseling or getting a calm adult rescue dog were the solution options. We went with the latter. in three weeks we saw progress, and now she is able to go to petting zoos, peoples houses, trick or treating, Chick E Cheese--you name it. Whew! Our medium sized, 3 year old rescue dog was the healer. Good luck, and let me know if you would like to know of great rescues in the area.