3 Year Old and Playing with Other Children

He's just getting to the age to play with others. Family is all he's had up until recently, and socializing with outsiders without Mom standing right there is really hard for some kids. I wouldn't worry, or push. He sounds like a normal, happy, well-adjusted kid. Maybe because he has a speech problem, you're too finely tuned in to every behavior. As he gets older, group activities will help draw him out and let him feel less "different." I think you're doing great with him.

If he plays with other kids when they approach him then he is ready to play with other kids rather than just parallel play. He may just need a script for how to approach other kids. DS didn't get it initially and would just run up to new kids and then run away. We tried explaining that he should try saying 'hi my name is Benjamin, would you like to play?' This worked remarkably well. Occasionally a kid would say no, but almost always with an explanation - eg, no, I am reading a book now or the equivalent. Then he would just report back in and try another kid.

Your son is doing fine. You might try to ask another family over for a playdate if you feel comfortable doing so, and help him navigate conflicts that will arise over a toy or whatever. Regular playgroups are good for this also. Otherwise, I would not expect him to be social other than what he is already doing.

I think you're on the right track. Maybe encourage him to invite someone for a playdate now and again, but otherwise, these things take time. It's okay.

Three is the age when kids start learning to really play together instead of just doing "parallel play." It takes time. My son will be four in May and it's only in the last few weeks that I have noticed a big shift in how he plays with others. The last few playdates we have had, he and his friends have made up games and really played together, versus just doing their own thing side by side.

I don't think there is anything wrong with your son and I'm sure that he will start to play with his friends more and more as time goes on.

K.
http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/karenchao

Maybe he is just shy it doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with him and if he is playing with other kids when they come up to him then you know he can play with other kids. Maybe he is just sacred to start the interaction. Talk to him and tell him it id okay if he ask other kid to play, but if he doesn't want to don't try and make him. It may just take time for him to warm up to the idea or starting the interaction. Good luck :)

Some kids are more "watchers" than intiators. Sounds to me like he is happy playing by himself or watching how other kids play but not so curious that he wants to throw himself into the mix just yet. He'll be fine. He's only 3 and is just paying attention and thinking and being choosey. I think that is a good thing really.

How about inviting one or two preschool friends over to play at your house, where the environment and the toys are familiar? The others will be in HIS comfort area and he will not have to initiate anything. Explain the toy-sharing part of having friends over. Maybe start a play group with new kids - put up flyers at the children's library or the kids' clothing consignment shop. Sometimes groups like the Newcomers Club have play groups, so do churches and community centers. The more exposure he has to new kids, the more chances he will have to be successful. Just don't overwhelm him with too many new experiences at once. And try to be patient. He's developing in other areas just fine - his time will come.

Kids at age 3 are still doing parallel play, he is still rather young to be expected to play with other kids all the time.

Since he goes to pre-school he should start "getting" this very soon.

If he is still doing this at 4/5 then he may just like playing alone. I would think he should start playing with others soon as he gets lots of opportunity.

The kids he goes to pre-school with may be more influential in getting him to play along with them as he learns how to interact with peers.