3 Consecutive Miscarriages After a Successful pregnancy...why?!

Updated on January 07, 2012
J.T. asks from Hialeah, FL
23 answers

I have a beautiful, healthy 2 year old son and my husband and I have been trying for the past 6 months to have another child, but although we've gotten pregnant 3 different times, I keep feeling the familiar cramping pains, then bleed tremendously for days. It keeps breaking my heart. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. We can't afford to go to any kind of specialist right now, and I was able to conceive just fine with my first child (although with my first husband). I have been taking prenatal vitamins for 7 months now, and eating healthy, light excersize, and still this keeps happening. Our last miscarriage was 5 days ago. I feel like giving up. I want a 2nd child very much, but if every time we plan so carefully and we keep getting pregnant, then this keeps happening... what's the point? Has anything like this happened for any other moms out there? Any advice? :/

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

I had 3 miscarriages between my 2 kids. It took us almost 2 years to successfully get pregnant again. I do not know why and did not see a specialist bc part of me was happy with my only child. But then suddenly when I was about to give up trying I got pregnant again. I looked at it in that the miscarriages were for good reasons, but yes, they made me sad. One especially was hard bc I was 7 weeks into it and thought we were safe. I don't know what to advise you except to keep trying. When we did get pregnant I thought we had sex way too early that month to conceive a child. So maybe that is one thing to try. I wish you luck.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

You're going to get a lot of responses... because, yeah. This is really common.

Hugs! Because that doesn't make it easier!

Docs won't even send you to a specialist until after your 3rd miscarriage in a row. Which you're at IF (and I hate to add this) you were at least 7-8 weeks pregnant. If you've been having chemical pregnancies (crossing fingers for you this is the case!), then you can take a deep breath. Most women have between 4-6 chemical pregnancies a year if they're sexually active and not using protection. The DNA doesn't zipper right in most cases, and you have a normal to heavy period a few days to a week or two late. Docs don't count these in the 3 in a row... because there's everything RIGHT happening, instead of something wrong. ((You body and the ovum/embryo do constant checks to make sure the DNA has zippered and combined correctly. These mistakes are caught during the first 6 weeks and include things like not having any bones, or acid for blood. The body or embryo goes "Yikes!" -to simplfy a dyslexic looking combo of chemical reactions- and hits the self destruct button. NORMAL, NATURAL, AND WANTED. If this is the case... then there is NOTHING wrong. It's still painful, but it's not a problem to be fixed. If anything, it's a very very good sign of things to come!

If it's not...

I don't even know how many babies I lost in my late 1st & early 2nd trimester. Which might be hard to imagine at 3 in, but that happens. The most painful was the little girl who was 6 going on 7 months.

For me... I had "nothing wrong" physically or chemically... Nothing that could be determined UNLESS I was pregnant. For me, my placenta rips away (placental abruption) from the uterine wall with the LEAST provocation. Even my son's... was in a constant state of ripping away. When he was born, it had ripped slightly and regrown so often it was over 20 pounds!!! (most are 3-5lbs). Held up in the midwife's (I had a midwife OB team through my office, it was the 'high-risk-mama-combo') hands it stretched well over 3' and possibly 4' wide (I sort of forget). To have my son I was on modified bedrest almost the entire pregnancy. I can't tell you how often I was in tears with well meaning idiots saying I wasn't doing what was right for my baby and THIS kind of exercise was GOOD for you. Thwibbt. No. Thank. You. Since even walking a block could cause a placental abruption in my case. Much less something STUPID like yoga (I live in a very yoga-area. I LIKE yoga. But no exercise could be worse designed for someone with my condition. Even leaning to *reach toilet paper* could cause a twinge and spotting. Much less real, honest to god, prenatal yoga. Yoga was instant-miscarriage for me. Not that strangers would believe me. Seriously. I had to have been majorly hormonal to be explaining myself to STRANGERS! lol. Stupid hormones!).

If there IS something wrong... you're going to get a lot of hurtful advice from well meaning idiots that you will need to ignore.

Which is my little Bluebird of Happiness moment. Feel free to thwack me upside the head. But seriously... our cases are ALL different. One kind of nutrition is GREAT for one person, and will trigger a miscarriage in another. Ditto exercise or no exercise. Supplements or no supplements. It reeeeeally all depends.

To ME (and I could be totally wrong) since you have no problem GETTING pregnant... I would think you don't need a fertility specialist (although you and hubby probably need bloodwork to ascertain if there is a lethal gene combo at play, rare, or an incompatibility). This (so far) sounds like 'regular OB' stuff to start with. An OB who specializes in high risk cases, but those are normal copays! From experience! A blood draw. A vaginal exam. A urine sample. An ultrasound. IF something is off physically (hormones, chemically in another way, physically) then a different specialist may well be needed. But there are soooo many possibilities don't jump to 20k IVF numbers floating in your mind to start. A LOT of problems can be fixed with a shot or taking a daily pill. Others can be fixed with some time, change of diet, change of exercise, circlage, etc.

Lots and lots of us high risk mama's pay EXACTLY what low risk mamas pay.

I don't know if you'll decide there is a point for you two. My point in inside doing his math homework and woke up this morning and gave me a flying hug and a "Good morning Mom! Love you!". Which isn't so common any more at 9 years old as it used to be. The pain of loss was worth it to wait for HIM.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

My sister has two children and suffered 5 miscarriages in addition. She had the one daughter, 5 miscarriages, and then a son. She would have miscarriages back to back, only a month or two in between. Finally, a Dr. told her she had to stop. Which, of course...is not what a woman who is trying to conceive wants to hear. Unfortunately, it was the truth. Her body was so messed up from all the hormone surges, drops, pregnancies, losses, that she was out of whack in every way. It is simply too h*** o* your body to continue having pregnancy after pregnancy. They began testing her 6 months after the last miscarriage (Her Dr. told her to wait AT LEAST 6 months to try and conceive) and it turns out her first child left her hormones in a bad place. She had adrenal gland issues, thyroid issues, progesterone issues, estrogen issues. When she got those taken care of, she was able to conceive and carry with no problem. She said the best thing she did (and the hardest) was allow her body time.

Unfortunately, I would say 3 consecutive losses requires a specialist. Most woman, once any body pr hormonal issues are balanced...can go on and conceive just fine. I'm assuming, that you have insurance, since you would need it for a pregnancy. Insurance, should cover an OB. They can do all the general tests and if something comes up strange, you can decide how to proceed from there.

4 moms found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

My mom had 3 babies, then 3 miscarriages in a row. After her 3rd miscarriage she was diagnosed with low progesterone. Her doctors told her that the next time she wanted to get pregnant, to let them know so they could start her on progesterone supplements. She did this and had 2 more successful pregnancies (my little brothers).

When I was pregnant with my oldest I started bleeding around 6 weeks and my hcg levels were low. My doctor told me to start preparing myself for the possibility of a miscarriage. I told her of my mother's low progesterone history, and she dismissed it, but I insisted that she check my levels. Sure enough, my levels were very low, and I asked for a supplement. She reiterated that I was probably carrying an "unhealthy baby, and my body was trying to get rid of it." I called bulls*** and repeated my request for progesterone. She grudgingly gave it to me, but only because my husband grabbed the phone from me and told me that if she didn't prescribe it, he'd just do it himself (he's an MD). My "unhealthy baby" turns 5 next week :)

Good luck to you and your husband! Don't give up, but do talk to your doctors and ask them to check your progesterone and do other diagnostic tests that might help shed some light on your recurrent miscarriages.

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

I'm very sorry for your losses.

It sounds like you're experiencing something they call secondary infertility, but I would recommend asking your doctor to run some tests check your hormones. Ask her opinion on what's been happening, if you've been seeking her opinion at all throughout all of this.

It does sound to me, however, that you're not giving your body time to heal after each pregnancy loss. Three losses in only six months is a tremendous trauma to your body, not to mention emotionally. Your body needs to rest and heal before it can even try to get pregnant again, and if your doctor is telling you otherwise then I would suggest finding another doctor or midwife.

If after giving your body time to heal per your OB then I would suggest talking to a fertility specialist. I really wouldn't recommend doing any of this on your own. Getting genetic testing done on your own sounds like such folly I don't understand why you wouldn't handle it through your doctor. Going through some random company online rather than a trusted source seems irresponsible.

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M.P.

answers from Raleigh on

I took me a while to get all straightened out, physically, emotionally, and hormonally from my miscarriage. I used to hate it when people would say "give yourself a little time to heal" when I had my miscarriage, but looking back, it was definitely necessary. Maybe you haven't gotten back to normal from the back to back miscarriages. Take a little time off from trying and give yourself time to heal fully. And don't give up.
I really wasn't ready to try again until after 6 mos had passed, even though the dr said we could try again after 3 mos. It took 4 mos past that for me to finally get pregnant again. I know your heartbreak, and I am so sorry. *hugs*

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D.F.

answers from Fort Myers on

I had three consecutive miscarriages after my first as well, however, not so close together as yours. (I had to wait a year after my first miscarriage for medical reasons) After waiting a year, I had a second and third miscarriage in the same year. I finally gave myself a 4th chance and with the help of progesterin (your ob can prescribe) I finally had my second girl. She is now 6. I, too, wanted to give up but I did what my ob suggested (wait three months to heal then try again and use progesterin suppositories when the preg test was positive) and finally it happened. My ob was the one who gave me hope....I could at least get pregnant, like you can as well. My advice is to give yourself a little time to heal and try again.

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W..

answers from Chicago on

Second-stage miscarriages are actually more commonly documented than miscarriages for women who have not had a successful pregnancy. Why? dunno. maybe cuz we knew what it felt like to be pregnant the first time, so we knew when we were the 2nd time. And then we knew the moment we weren't any longer.

What's the point?

dunno.

could be cuz you want it. could be cuz it's not 'right'. could be a medical or chemical or hormonal issue. could be could be could be. dunno dunno dunno.

It sucks. It sucks worse each time (I had 3 miscarriages after my daughter was born at 8, 12 and 16 weeks consecutively). It sucks to get pregnant cuz you're scared and it sucks to miscarry cuz you were right. It sucks to be right and it sucks that it sucks.

My advice to you is the advice you don't want to hear. QUIT TRYING. Enjoy your husband. don't let the stress of this tear apart your marriage (or pick away at it quietly). Don't let the stress of this consume you. Don't let the stress of this make you miss ONE INSTANT of your son's life.

Whatever you do (give it god, put it on your 'secret' board, throw it to the universe) do it and then stop trying to find a reason. There may not be one.

What's the point? At some point you may conceive and carry a beautiful baby that completes your family. That's the point.

Good Luck.

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Momma:

I really feel for you. I'm sorry for your losses. I've lost 3 pregnancies - 12, 14 and 22 weeks.

After reading your other post? The last thing you need to do is add to your family!! Sorry - not what you want to hear - but you NEED to hear it.

You can't afford to have another child. Your body is telling you this.

What gets me? is that the way I read your post is that you have gotten pregnant every two months over the last six. Were you really pregnant or was your body simply reacting to the stress of living in your MILs house? As that truly sounds hinky to me that you've lost 3 pregnancies in 6 months. your doctor should have told you NOT to have sex for at least 3 months after the first loss.

According to your other post, you are not financially able to live on your own and are living with your MIL. You are not liking that situation at all. Why on earth would you put yourself and your husband through this stress?

STOP trying to conceive. Seriously. Get your own place and on your own two feet. Then and ONLY then start trying to conceive. you are putting yourself in a no-win situation by continuing to TRY to get pregnant. Get on some birth control, get a job and get a place of your own.

Please know and understand i am not trying to be mean. I am truly sorry for your loss, however, your body is telling you ENOUGH. You MUST listen to it.

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S.L.

answers from Boca Raton on

It may be something as simple as your body needs a little break. You had a baby 2 years ago, and your had three miscarriages since then. That's a lot happening to your body in a short amount of time. Try to relax, don't think about it, and soon enough you will get pregnant. I think your body is just asking for a little time. You will be fine. Take some time off mentally from all of this - it's a lot to go through both mentally and physically.
I wish you the best!

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I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

I had two miscarriages in between two beautiful children. My mother- in-law had 4 miscarriages and 4 children. Think of it this way, you can get pregnant (thats a huge hurdle many infertile woman never get over). Reading between the lines it sounds like you are loosing them early. So it not as though you have an incompetent cervex or something that would cause you to loose them late. This is very common. You are not doing anything wrong. stastitically speaking, your due for a successful pregnancy. Take heart. Try again.

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi J.,

I am so sorry for your losses. I know how it feels to lose a child. I would highly suggest seeing a specialist--I know you said you can't afford right now--but it be best to wait until you can see someone and get evaluated so you can hopefully avoid any more heartache. I am so sorry and am wishing you the best! Take good care of you.... FYI Most moms I know who have had similar circumstances have had clotting problems. Maybe its something like that? Take care and good luck.

M

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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am so sorry for your losses. I too lost three babies and it is horrible to endure. I was checked for everything I could through blood tests. I turned out to carry a defect called mthfr which may lead to clotting problems during pregnancy. There were many other things I thought might be the problem. Please please get checked by a high risk ob before you try again. Blessings and healthy times ahead.

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S.S.

answers from Miami on

BLOCKED ENERGY! Go to a natural healer (cranial sacral, accupuncture, NAET, chiropractor, Reiki, Emotional Freedom). We carry many things in our minds and bodies that we are unaware of but the body never forgets.

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

Many years ago, I had a neighbor that had repeat miscarriages after having 2 healthy pregnancies... she had maybe 5 or 6 while I knew her, and maybe more after we moved away. We went back to visit several years later, and found she had gotten into a specialist and it was also a clotting problem.... I don't remember what it was, but basically, she had to take a baby aspirin every day to keep from having the clots form and cause a miscarriage... (I don't remember at all what it was, sorry). She did have some other issues with it as it got closer to delivery, but did have a relatively healthy baby. (I think he was premature.. don't know how early, though.)

I agree that a reproductive endocrinologist is your best bet..... hold off a bit .to give your body time to recover, and save up some money, if possible...

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

GO TO AN RE. Not just your OB. My friend had 2 kids and then kept loosing babies. Turns out, she had a treatable clotting problem that only happens to women after they have a kid or two. If your OB can't refer you, ask him/her to get you tested/refer you. Find out what kind of referral is covered by your insurance. If you have something like what she had, you need to be tested and treated. Once they figured it out, she had her little daughter, now 2.

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T.D.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

Yes- you are going to hear that it has indeed happened to many of us. I've had 2 miscarriages and then a chemical pregnancy a few months ago. Keep hope! Not knowing how far along you were when you lost yours- they may have been chemical pregnancies too. (another poster wrote about these) But very early losses where your period is just days late or even on time- are considered to be chemical. My doc says a chemical pregnancy is not a bad thing but indicates that your body is just preparing for a successful pregnancy. They are so common it can occur every other month he says. Most women are just not looking for them or notice anything. When you are trying to conceive though- you don't miss a trick- so we notice what many do not. He also says they don't count against you- like most people would consider a miscarriage increasing future risks. Your chances of conceiving a healthy baby are just the same. The good- no great news is that you get pregnant easily. I have been trying over 2 years- since having my daughter. I am seeing a specialist but there are no answers which explain my losses or difficulty conceiving. I would guess that you probably do not need a specialist but you could ask your OBGYN to run some blood work. Nothing may come up (great!) but you will feel reassured for having checked. Your going to hear a lot of advice, and a lot of people are going to say the wrong thing while you are hurting. Or insist that it must be progesterone or it must be clotting or an infection etc. etc. When I hear this I always feel like this is putting the burden and blame back on me. Those issues are not common- but have your blood work done to reassure yourself. If something comes up then you have an answer and something that can be done to help. If the blood work is clear then you can breathe a sigh of relief, relax and try again. Hang in there. You are NOT doing anything wrong. And whatever you are feeling is justified. I will keep my fingers crossed for you- that this miscarriage path is not a long one for you and that you get your baby wish soon. Best of luck.

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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

What does your OB say about this? Unfortunately this is much more common than women think.

I don't like to bash other companies that perform genetic testing but if you are considering the company that the previous poster mentioned (although she didn't post the name, I know who it is) please reconsider this company and their method. It is very inexpensive as far as genetic testing goes...red flag. They do test for 100 genetic conditions - 30% - 40% of them affect 1/1,000,000....yep one in a million. They also have less than a 10% detection rate and the OB/GYNs are simply not prepared to counsel for this nor are the genetic counselors.

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H.P.

answers from Orlando on

Hi,
First I'm so sorry for your losses. I've lost 3 babies (2 pregnancies, twins & a single), so I know the pain. I certainly don't haby any answers for you.
The only thing I can think of is that you aren't giving your body enough time in b/t miscarriages. Your uterus needs time for the lining to build back up. I've heard of women getting pg immediately after a m/c & having a healthy baby. I've also heard of the opposite. I think you said you had natural m/c's. I had a d & e w/my first loss & a d &c w/my second. While in the hospital having my 2nd d&c, one of the nurses (who has lost 2 babies as well), told me to give my body a full 6 mos until we try again. I know that 6 mos seems like forever right now. But it'll be totally worth it once you're holding a sweet baby in your arms.
Again, I am so very sorry for all that you & your husband have been through.

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R.C.

answers from Phoenix on

You don't need a specialist to run some basic blood tests to rule out some possible causes. A nurse midwife or OB/GYN or even a family practitioner can do that. You also might want to get the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler and consider doing some temperature charting during the cycles when you are trying to conceive to determine if maybe you have low progesterone (as a low temp after ovulation would indicate). This book can be found at many public libraries and is very helpful.
Good news for you is that after 3 miscarriages, you still have a 60% chance of carrying a child to viability.
I'm very sorry for your losses and know your heart must be breaking right now. Please seek some help from a nurse midwife or Dr soon to give you the best chance of expanding your family. Wishing you the very best....Nurse Midwife Mom

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R.A.

answers from Boca Raton on

check out a good acupuncturist, and research false unicorn root, vitex and l-arginine...

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S.D.

answers from Tampa on

I would have your OB run some blood work. I had 2 consecutive miscarraiges (both early) after having an uneventful first pregnancy/delivery with my older son. My OB ran some bloodwork and I came up positive for MTHFR & Factor V Leiden Mutation. These are basically clotting disorders - oddly enough I'd never had a blood clot in my life. We believe this was the cause for the miscarraiges. I was put on baby aspirin daily and stayed on that for 36wks of my last pregnancy. I also had to take blood thinner injections throughout the pregnancy & 6wks post partum. It was tough, but I now have a healthy 10mo old boy. I too wondered why do I keep getting pregnant only to go through the miscarraiges - it was emotionally draining. One day I just prayed out loud to God wondering if he doesn't want me to have anymore kids then why does he keep letting me get pregnant (this was after the 2nd m/c and I was angry). Oh, & I did have to go to a specialist, but not until after my OB ran the blood work and gave me the results of that. Good luck and I hope that you can have that 2nd child you are longing for :)

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

Has your OB done bloodwork? This can happen if your progesterone levels are too low. Start with your own doctor first. They can often help solve problems like this.

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