2 Year Old Won't Sleep Alone

Updated on January 17, 2008
K.T. asks from Waltham, MA
9 answers

We got my son in a terrible habit from the beginning. He will not go to sleep on his own. My husband and I (one of us) have to lay with him until he is asleep. Until recently we could leave his bed and he would sleep, most of the night. Now, he will not let you leave. If you even move, he cries. I just don't know how to 1.get him to go to his bed alone and 2.stay there ALONE!! My husband and I haven't slept in the same bed in I don't know how long!! I can't really let him cry it out because my other son will wake, and then everyone will be crying!!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Boston on

There are two books I highly recommend getting. One is called "Sleeping Through the Night," and the other is "The No Cry Sleep Solution." You can change things-don't worry!!

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.S.

answers from Boston on

I have the same problem...I accepted that I messed up from the beginning and welcomed the concept of the "family bed". I just managed to get my almost 6 year old out of my bed recently. He still falls asleep in my bed and we take him to his. He doesn't come back anymore! My youngest is still in my bed all night. I see it as the few years I will get to enjoy my children while they are still really young! The difference is that I don't mind. For you it may take time but the whole establishing a bedtime routine and sticking to it for a few weeks might work.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.F.

answers from Providence on

we had a similar problem with our 18mo when transitioning to a big girl bed - toddler bed. It was a gradual process - we started out lying on the floor with her until she fell asleep and then we would leave - this lasted for about 4 months. Then we started minor adjustments - at first we would purposely get off the floor and move something in the room and then lay back down. Then we would purposely leave the room for about 20 seconds and then return, etc. Then we told her we were leaving the room to do some "work" but she could call us and we would always answer (so stay within ear shot of her). Now as long as her nightlight is on and she can hear us she is fine. It took awhile and was very gradual for her to adjust. Hope that helps.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

W.D.

answers from Boston on

I do the same thing. some days I just say "I'll be right back" and just not go back.. try a special toy (sleep with it a couple nights first so it gets your scent on it) and a night light. Try sticker charts too.. they love that stuff. good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.C.

answers from Boston on

Oh do I feel your pain. We had the same issues with our first son (we have three). It's so hard! What we ended up doing was installing a gate at the bedroom door. We explained that it was time for him to go to sleep, and close the gate. Now, we do the same thing with our youngest (who is now 2 1/2. We say "if you stay in bed, the gate will stay open." I felt like this was better than closing the door (which by the way, we did try with our youngest, then a childproof lock on the inside, until he fell asleep, which he would rip off and come out anyway. So, I think it's so important that you keep in mind that you are teaching him how to fall asleep on his own. It may be very hard in the beginning, going to reassure him, but stay firm. As the nights pass, it will get a little better each time. I hope this works for you! It definately worked for us. I would open the gate when he was asleep, so if he had a bad dream, he could come in for comfort, but we wanted him to fall asleep on his own.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.H.

answers from Washington DC on

My son went through a phase while he was 2 as well. We co-slept, though we often did not stay in bed after we got him asleep. For a while, he required one of us (preferably me) to lie in bed with him for hours until he was so sound asleep that he would not notice when I got up. I typically fell asleep and relied on my husband to quietly wake me up if I needed to get something done. But, no fears! He's three and will lie down and go to sleep by himself now. As he got older, I worked more on having him fall asleep on his own. But I can pretty much guarantee you that what your won is going through right now is just a phase. He will eventually get more independent.

I think that age is really kind of a trying time for kids...they are growing out of the baby stage completely, and feeling the need for independence, but still want to be 'babied' because it makes them feel safe and secure.

I know it's frustrating, especially if you have a million things that you need to get done. But don't feel like you are the only one who has experienced it. I thought I had done something terribly wrong and that I was never going to get all of my chores done. But, never fear, it does have an end. :-)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.D.

answers from Boston on

You are the parent...stand strong! It's going to take some tears to break your son of this habit and there may be some really bad nights before it gets better but stay strong and put him in bed ALONE and let him cry. Go to the door and comfort him and if he comes out, march him right back in with no negotiating! I have two kids 14 months apart and they were in the same room for about two years. It does stink when one wakes up the other but I can assure you for the few nights you have to deal with this it will be well worth it in the long run. Take a deep breath and most importantly STICK TO IT! Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from Boston on

He's probably going through a security need phase. He'll get over it, if his needs are met. My son is almost three, and has been through that, and now sleeps much better. At 2, they are just feeling a lot of separation stuff, because they realize that you aren't around all the time, and they want to make sure they're safe. It won't last forever.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.N.

answers from Boston on

K., i feel your pain. My daughter is 20 months and hates to sleep by herself. This is definetely our fault, she was colic as a newborn and until she was about 6 months old so my husband and i held her all the time, she is our first as well. We have her fall asleep on the couch and once she is asleep we put her in her crib but she once she wakes up during the night (which she always does) she wants to come to bed with us. If we don't take her she screams and yells our names. I know we should let her cry longer but it's hard at 3AM. We are trying a bed soon so hopefully that will work but i have a feeling it won't. So if you get any good advice please pass it along.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches