2 Year Old Driving Me Crazy - Help!

Well K., I have three now and I remember that stage so well! Don't worry, if you discipline now, the rest will be so much easier. The most important thing is that you have to show her "who's in charge"! In my humble opinion I would send her to the corner and sit with her till she understands her bad behavior will not be tolerated(she understands it by now). Whatever you do, DO NOT give her too many options (example: she obeyed you (don't overpraise, a simple "thank you" will do then maybe she can watch a show she likes...if she doesn't behave, i.e. picking up her toys...walk with her and pick them up until she is done then say "we will do this again later on" till she gets the hint, basically "stick to your guns"!

P.S. Stick with it and don't overpraise and don't let her run your house! You are in charge not her!

MY daughter can be the exact same way at times, but what has helped is me NOT over reacting, but staying calm, getting down to her level, looking her in the eyes and telling her it is not ok. She has learned that if she throws something and makes a mess that she is the one to clean it up, not me. At first she threw a fit about this and it took almost all day to get her to do it, but now when she decides to throw something she has to pick it up, if she spills something (weather on accident or purpose she will have to get the towel and wipe it). Now, if she spills something she will say ugh oh, towel, clean the mess. and she does it all by herself. I have given her more responsibilites now also. When she is done playing with something I make her put it away. When she finishes eating she takes her plate and fork and puts them in the sink. With regards to her shoes, we have a basket that is full of all her shoes. I tell her in the morning to get some socks ( also in a basket) and pick out a pair of shoes and if the shoes dont match I take one and tell her to find the other one. I have made it more fun for her because she is a very independant person and WANTS to do EVERYTHING HERSELF! It can drive you crazy or you can use it to your advantage. My daughter is potty trained and will try to dump in in the towlet also, sometimes she makes it and sometimes she spills. I do not yell at her becasue she is trying to do the right thing. I just try to help her do it by lifting the towlet seat and telling her two hands TWO HANDS! Also she was and still is a jumper and climber and it was driving me nuts. So I put her in a gymnastics class and it has helped A lot! Granted she does still climb and jump, but it is more structured at home so if she decides to jump on the bed I can tell her no jumping on the bed here, jump on the mat ( we have a small gymnastic mat for her) If she tries to climb I can redirect her and have her do climbing where she holds my hands walks up my legs and flips. After about 5 or 6 of these she is happy and doesnt care to climb on top of the refridgerator :) She also understands that taking turns now ( due to gymnastic class) so if she is doig something I dont want her to I can tell her its not your turn and she will stop. Hope this helps. Good luck

Karen summed it up perfectly!!!! Especially the positive reinforcement. My daughter LOVES when we go and tell Daddy something wonderful she did... peed in the potty, helped make brownies, cleaned her toys etc... We will even wake him up to tell him or call him at work. She loves the phone so this is a huge treat on top of the praise.

I love the idea of putting the toys in timeout... I forgot that is what I did with my son 17 years ago! Surprisingly, it works! And it is easier for them to understand compared to putting them in timeout. I personally believe 2 is too young for them to be put in time out.

THe other thing I do with tantrums is ignore them and when she is done I will re-direct her. Or if it is the mother of all tantrums I will get on the floor with her and whisper. When you speak quietly she will have to be quiet to listen. And when all else fails... I take a time out! lol Sometimes us Moms need them too!

Good luck and blessings to you.. remember this stage does not last forever!

Fun age hey! Well you have to stay calm and not react negatively because that will fuel her even more. continue to give her consequences. Natural consequences are the best. If she messes up she has to help clean up. I know she's only two, however, she will be able to do one little thing to 'help' clean up a mess she created. Most people use a time out for punishment but it is a way to get the kid to stop doing what she is doing. For example if she is hitting and not listening to you or she is screaming and not listening you give her a time out to allow for a change/distraction. So then after 2 minutes in time out she has forgotten or calmed down and then you can talk to her about her behavior. While she is doing it and throwing a fit she isn't in any frame of mind to listen to anything you have to say. A lot of time I put my self in time out because if I don't I will explode. This allows me to remove myself, calm down and think of how to appropriately deal with the situation. The kids are usually stunned because all of a sudden I yell Mommy needs a time out and I'll leave and they just don't know what to do with it so they stop what they are doing and of course following me to my time out. By the time I get upstairs to my bedroom I'm a bit calmer and am able to deal with whatever is going on. At her age time out needs to be where you can see her and be able to return her to her spot each time. I put my kids on the bottom step of the stairs. If they get up they are marched right back and have to sit for the duration of their age in minutes. As they get older (4-4 1/2 years, depending on the individual) I move them into the bathroom. Usually they don't do anything because they know, but if they decide to play with the soap or toilet paper they have to clean it up and that only happens once. I make them really clean it up while I direct them as to what to do and they have to do it or they will just stay in time out until they are ready to clean it up. Anyway, it is a hard time. Stay consistent, don't allow your anger to get the best of you, watch your reactions and always follow through. It will feel like all you are doing is time outs or giving consequences or feeling like you need a time out but if you stay the course she will learn. For awhile anyway, until she is five and starts testing you again because of her development needs during that time.

The other responses gave great advice. Something else to remember, give her as much control as possible. For example, let her choose which pair of socks to wear, which color of cup to drink out of. I'm going through the same thing right now with my two year old, she loves to help make decisions and this helps with her behavior.

Sounds like you need to have some logical consequences for her actions. For example, if she misbehaves while eating (like putting food in her milk cup) you take away the milk. Done. If she mistreats her toys, the toy has a time out the first time, and gets taken away for the remainder of the day the second time. You can use counting (I wait at least 5 seconds between 1-2-3) and enact the consequence at 3. That gives her a chance to correct her actions.

When my 2 yo son has a fit about getting ready to go someplace fun (like a class) I will count and remind him that if I get to 3, we will not go to the class, but instead will sit at home and be bored. The key is that you need NEED to follow through with the threat. (Yes, I know you wanted to get out of the house too, and that we pay for the classes, but she won't take you seriously if you don't follow through. Sometimes I give my son a chance to "earn" back a privilege by being extra good/helpful). With the grocery store thing (yeah, you can't not go to the store I know) I would probably leave my son strapped in his car seat (tightly, if necessary) and stand by the open car door ignoring him until he calmed down and was ready to behave.

The other thing you can do is positively reinforce. Make sure you let her know EVERY time she does a good job. Even if it's a simple "thank you for helping me get your shoes on so nicely today" and a kiss, this makes a big difference. Make a big deal out of things by pointing them out to others too. For example, "Daddy, did you know that Emma is such a big girl she got her coat on and climbed into her carseat all by herself today? I'm so proud of her!" If we get through a whole grocery run (and my son has been well behaved the whole time, we will sometimes get a treat like a juice box, that he can drink on the way home in the car. (The key here is to remind him that he only gets it if he's really good).

Check out Dr. Harvey Karp's book "The Happiest Toddler on the Block." It explains why toddlers act the way they do. I'm out of my mind when I don't follow his advice with my middle-child (just turned 2 a couple of weeks ago), but when I do we get along much better.