2 1/2 Year Old Daughter Wont Go Potty

I had the same problem with my daughter. When I finally relaxed and just let it happen, it did. She went to daycare and saw the others using the bathroom and wanted to be like them. It took no time at all. Good luck. My grandchildren have had the same situation. When they're ready, they'll do it. In 15 years you won't even remember there was a problem. Can you look at others and say, "Oh that person was potty trained at one and half, and the other person was trained at 4 years." RELAX and let it happen. J.

My 2 1/2 year old little girl was doing really good and then she just stopped. Now she gets to the bathroom and goes in her pants. She seems to rather go in her pants then change into new underware and pants instead of going on the toilet. I will ask her if she has to go, she tells me no then 2 minutes later she is wet. We tried a sticker chart and that worked for a while, but I think she lost interest.
Anyone that I talk to say that she since she knows how it works when she is ready she will start using the toilet. I know this is not much help but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone in the potty training battle.
Have you tried letting her pick out a special back of underware as an incentive or starting with plain underware and using the Dora/Princess ones as a reward for staying dry??

I understand how you feel I have a daughter who will be 5 in early May and I am a full time student too.

I tried PT with my gilr till I was blue in the face and we were both put off at the thought of a potty. We did EVERYTHING people and books recommend. She finally caught on 3 days before her 3rd B-day. Ever since she has stayed dry (except over night. The only thing I can suggest is to keep it positive and keep on gently. She wont use the pot till she is ready.
Good Luck,
Rebecca

She's just not ready. Wait a few months then try again.

Have you tried taking her to the store and picking out pretty big girl panties? That really worked for one of my girls and one of my granddaughters. You'll probably think this is terrible, but for one of my kids I made them wash out her wet panties in the sink. She knew how to use the toilet and she would pee her panties and then come immediately and tell me. I assumed she just wanted the extra attention. I showed her how to wash them out and it didn't take long before she stopped peeing her pants. Her age? 2 and 1/2

We are going thru the same thing with potty training. My daughter likes stickers so we have a piece of paper on the fridge with the label "Going Potty" and I drew a picture of her toilet. When she goes, she gets to pick out a sticker and put it on the sheet. I try to remind her of how neat her stickers are. "I'm #1"- was the funniest comment she's made about what sticker and going potty. Many people have told me not to stress out about it. Each child will get it when he/she's ready. I wish you luck also!

it has been my experience that waiting until they are ready works much faster. that might be 3 or even older. my son didn't pick up the first time we tried at age 2. we waited until just before age 3 and he caught in less than a week. My daughter was 3 when we first tried and it took about a week as well. Maybe letting it go for a couple more months will help her mature that much more and she will catch on. i know too that some children are just more difficult to potty train. Good luck, i know it is frustrating.

Honestly, I would just take a break from it for awhile...she just might not be ready. My experience with both my kids is the more I pushed the more they resisted. They both eventually got to a point where they decided they wanted to use the potty...and once they started they were great...very few accidents.

I had the same issue with my daughter. She was at a daycare and she was learning to go but then when I had to take her out and I had to put her with a babysitter, she refused to go to the bathroom in the toilet. She would every once in awhile and I tried a kids potty, a dora toilet cover for the regular toilet and I also tried to show but she would not go. Once I put in head start and she seen other kids going then she began to potty train now she's fully potty trained and she just wear pull ups at night. I always felt that she just wasn't ready and I wasn't going to force her. You can stress a child out if you force them to potty train. My friend has a set of twins and one was potty training and the other one wasn't and she was kind of pressuring the other one to go and her daughter began to get stressed and started pulling her hair out so you don't want that. Just give her time she will start on her own terms.

If your daughter likes books, set some by her potty chair, to ease her fear. Also, if the chair seems more like a toy to her, maybe she would prefer the new seats that attach to an adult toilet. I need to ask how quickly you respond to her wetting. Maybe if you make it more inconvenient to change her, she might not like the feeling of wearing soiled pantys. Children know what will make you react quickly, if you don't react immediately when she tells you, maybe she will decide she doesn't care for the feeling of it as well. I'm not saying make her wear them for hours, just make it a bit more uncomfortable for her to continue with this habit. I also found the reward system to be useful in potty training.

She's probably not ready yet. If she understands the concept, she'll do it when she's ready. Does she go to a Daycare? If so - she'll also see other kids going on the potty. My daughter was about 2 1/2, but she'd been watching me work w/ her older brother too - he was 3 1/2. When I was sure they were ready (actually I'd try here and there when I was home, you definitely know if they aren't ready), I let them run around naked. They didn't like wetting themselves and were trained within a day or two - I want to emphasize - when they were ready. Good luck :-) She'll do fine.

goodmorning,
Just remeber she will not go to kindegarten wearing a diaper, so relax and enjoy your daughter. When us moms relax and let the kids think that it isn't a big deal, they will then start wanting to go potty on there own. Remember there aren't to many things that they have control of at 2 1/2.
Have a great day
S., mom of 4...10.7.5.2

Let go of your expectations. The frustration that this has caused you both could be preventing her from motivating herself to be potty trained.

She knows what she needs to do. Once you give up she will do it. My daughter did the same thing and I just stopped myself from saying anyting or doing anyting that even remotely seemed like encouragment. I changed her diaper without comment and moved on. The next thing you know she was doing it all by herself.

Just breathe and watch the magic.

Most children are not physically mature enough until they are on average 30 months old to fully know when they are going potty and "hold it" when they need to. That being said, at 2-1/2, be patient. She may simply be too young. She's familiar with the potty by watching you and will likely decide on her own over the next few months.

When she does, take her shopping for REAL big girl underwear or fancy training pants (not pull-ups or any other disposable diaper alternative pretending to be underwear) and she's going to wear those and no diapers or pull-ups. She needs to feel the pee running down her legs so she really knows what it's about.

"Part time" training doesn't work. It lets the child know that they don't have to do potty in the potty all the time - it's optional. It has to be all or nothing which is why you really need to wait at minimum for physical maturity before working on this and the child's interest in it as well.

Either way, be patient and just wait a few months. I'd pretty much leave the potty chair in the bathroom and drop the subject for a while. Don't drive yourself nuts over this - she's likely smart enough to see that she can control you if you do.

My first feeling is to say, don't rush it. But if she is showing other signs of readiness (dry through the night or extended periods of time during the day, telling you when she goes etc.) then there are several things you can try to get her more comfortable with the potty. Let her take one of her baby dolls in to sit on her potty chair, either alone or while she is sitting on the big chair; let her take the potty chair into the family room or living room and allow her to sit on it with her clothes on, just so she can get used to sitting on it; there are tons of great books and videos out there (I checked them out from the public library so I didn't have to go to any extra expense) I read the books to my daughter in the bathroom and eventually while she was sitting on the potty. If none of these things seem to work, I would suggest waiting a while and revisit potty training later. I introduced potty training at 2 yr. 3 mo. to my daughter b/c she was often dry at night and was interested in it when I would go to the restroom, but it wasn't until the week before she turned 3, that she was really trained. I ended up just dropping it for a few months and then all the sudden about 6 wks before her 3rd bday, she was asking to go potty and SHE was the one interested in it, not just me. Remember she is still very young to be trained, so don't feel badly if she's not ready. Good Luck to you and Kennedy!

My daughter recently turned 3 and we have finally mastered the potty chair. We were using pull ups, and she refused to go in the potty. She would kick and scream, acting fearful when I would take her in there. I did many of the things you described with the same result. She would come to me when her pull up was wet and tell me she needed changed. I was so frustrated, but also so busy and I just let it be for the longest time. One day we ran out of pullups and money was very tight that week so I said, I am not buying them she is big enough to be potty trained. I went to her room and got one of the many pairs of panties we had and put them on her. From that day on she has been using the potty chair. I think the pullups were a crutch for her AND ME! I hope this helps.

A.

My oldest now 4 1/2, started the potty process at 2.5 (because everyone said that is when you do it)she wouldn't potty we tried EVERYTHING. We finally put her back in diapers and waited until she wanted to do it. she mastered it right before she was 4. With my second daughter we didn't push anything, we talked about it here and there but never asked her to go in the big potty or anything, sometimes she would ask and we would let her try but never pushed at all. Just after she turned 3, we started "trying" she was trained in a week. I do beleive if you are trying for too long the frusteration shows. I won't try and train any of my other children until they are at least 3. I would rather pay for diapers and have everyone happier!

S., I don't know if this will be of any help or not.My 3 1/2 yr. old granddaughter has been potty trained for about 6 months or so. My daughter tried bribing her & punishing her when she went in her diaper. Ellie, my granddaughter is a very stubborn child. She didn't care what they tried. She eventaully decided on her own that it was time. Just keep working with her and I believe she will decide it's the right time. Good Luck!!!

I just brought my 3 1/2 year old son to the DR for a check up. I have tried potty training him numerous times (consistantly for the last 6 monhts). I even put him in big boy underewear and he didn't even notice when he went in them. He would have sat around in his wet pants all day. The doctor told me not to push him and eventually he will decide when he is ready. I haven't pushed him in a week, hasn't even sat on the toilet and low and behold yesterday he started telling me that "his pee was coming" and had no accidents!!
I know it is hard waiting until they are older. I have many people hounding me about him being three and not potty trained and it makes me feel like a "bad" mom. Once I got all those thoughts out of my head it made it much easier. All that hard work and kicking and screaming to get him to sit on the potty, when all I had to do was wait until he was ready!!
Good Luck!

When my daughter was potty training we went out and I let her pick out her own underwear. While we were home at night I would put her underwear on and nothing else or even let her play naked on the kitchen floor. I let her play with things that I didn't anyplace else, like paint and playdoh while I was cooking. If she didn't go on the potty and peed on the floor it was easy to clean up. She did not like the wet feeling and quickly learned to go on the potty.

My son was older and harder to train. He just wasn't interested. One day he took off his diaper and told me that he didn't want to wear diapers anymore. That was it. It only took him one week to figure it out. It was so weird, but he was all of a sudden ready.

I also have a friend that would dress her daughter in dresses since it was the summer and not put underwear on her. Every time she did there was an accident. She didn't like that wet feeling either.
Good luck with everything!

I also have a 2 1/2 year old daughter, and what worked for her was a "potty chart". I got some 8X10 poster board and drew lines vertically and horizontally to make squares. We labelled it at the top with "Noelle's Potty Chart". At the end of each row, she chose a prize, such as a new book, an ice cream cone, etc., with the biggest prize on the last row. Every time she went potty she got to put a sticker in one on the squares, working toward that prize. We did three charts like this, then moved up to her having to fill the entire chart before getting a prize. Once she had mastered this, we did a "poo-poo chart". Within two weeks, she was completely potty-trained. Since your daughter is so bright and seems to understand the concept of going to the bathroom, she would surely understand the concept of a chart. Plus, it's something tangible that she can really take ownership of. Let her choose the stickers and help make the chart to make it even more her own!

S.-

I have a 7 year old and a 2 year old. It sounds like your daughter just isn't ready for the potty yet. She's not "behind schedule" and there is no exact age that all kids start. My 2 year old was very interested in the potty about 6 months ago, but now wants nothing to do with it.

Your best bet is leave the potty chair out, maybe also get a toilet seat insert and see which one interests her. When she is ready, it will go fast. If you keep on her, it will make the process longer.

One thing a friend did with her little girl was to take her shopping for little girl panties. Once the child understood she needed to go potty on the toilet to wear them, she was done with diapers.

Just remember that all children are individuals and have different needs and wants. Just aim to have her trained before she goes to Kindergarten and you won't be dissapointed!

Hang in there!!! You'll laugh about things later.

Don't push her and stress about it. She'll go when SHE'S ready.
K. S., mother of 4 boys

My daughter is 2 1/2 as well and she is scared of the potty too. She also knows when she has to go. She wont get in the bath tub even though it is her favorite thing to do sometimes because she knows she has to poop. And sometimes she will sit on the toilet and continuously wipe herself with toilet paper, but she holds it in. As soon as she knows she can't hold it anymore she cries for us to put a diaper on her. I have tried to distract her by giving her a cookie or putting her favorite show on while she is sitting on the little potty, but she has not gone yet no matter how long she sits there. She just waits until the diaper is back on. She is my third so I do not have high expectations, but I understand how you want to keep encouraging her. It is hard when you know how bright your child is to wait for them to just do what you know they can do. We have a few training tools you could try. Buy a potty book with bright colors you can read to her over and over, we also have Elmos Potty Time video, pull ups, and I liked the comment one mom made about letting them run around naked. My daughter does this sometimes and does not like the pee running down her legs. She did pee once on the potty while running naked, well mostly on the potty, I did need to clean the floor around it. You can also try to give her large amounts of fluids so that she needs to go more often. That way you have more "trys" each evening to work with her. Stay positive. Your doing great!

Hi...
We had trouble with our daughter when she was about that age as well. We just put her in undies and stayed close to home all weekend. She really didn't like the feeling of being wet and it took a few days and then she was wanting to sit on the potty seat! Yes, it was a hassle to clean up accidents but it paid off in the end. Good luck!

This is very common. My youngest daughter did not want to use the toilet. She could do it if she wanted to but usually she just wouldn't go. She is my stubborn one. I didn't push her nor did I stress over it. Sometimes kids just need to decide when they are going to do it. Her decision came last summer when I took her to see her preschool room. She loved it but that night at the dinner table I told her she wouldn't be able to start school in a few weeks because she didn't go potty on the toilet. Guess what? She wore underwear the next day. No accidents either.

I work in a Preschool/daycare where you do not have to be potty trained since we start at infant on up. It's funny that the children of parents who "demand" that they wear underwear are the ones having accidents several times a day.

I find that once the child is ready it's going to be no problem. You could just go cold turkey and put her in underwear and she will not like it when she is wet. I just don't think bribery works that well.

Best of luck.

I wonder if she is just stressed out too much over the potty, and needs a break? She may then get back into it & surprise you. She may just not be ready. Sometimes even when my trained child won't go, I make the potty funny & have the potty talk to her by saying " what's that potty? You want """ to use you & give you potty?" Sounds strange, but it can work. Relax your self & show her how nice it is to sit. Just let her watch you. Good luck.

I'm sure people have told you that "when she's ready, she'll just do it"....well believe it! I was in the same position as you are at one time. I wanted my daughter to be potty trained before my son was born, but she had other plans! She did the same thing...she would say she had to go, but she had already gone in her diaper or pull up. I tried puttin gher in panties, but she would just look at me and say "mommy I'm dripping"! I tried a sticker chart and told her that after 5 stickers, she would get a prize, but she had to go potty 5 times first....and that kind of worked. But finally...one day...she looked at me and said she had to go potty...and she did. She has been potty traind every since SHE was ready to do it. She is 3 1/2 and has been using the potty for 6 1/2 months. It was later that what I had wanted, but she just needed me to back off so she could decide when it was time. Just be patient with her....she will get it soon...I promise! I hope this helps a little!

S.,

Children potty train when they are ready. Leave her alone for a while. She will potty when she is ready. Most of us parents want to get them potty trained as soon as possible, but it is so much easier if you leave it alone. It becomes a power struggle and you lose! Be patient. She will come along when SHE is ready.

L. :)

A little about me: Mother of 2 adult children and grandma of 1 beautiful little granddaughter :)

The only thing that really worked for me was to put them into regular underwear. After about 2 days of that, they would get to the potty chair on time or nearly on time. And ask them many times in that process if they need to go potty. It may be messy, but it really worked. If they make it to the potty they get a treat. Or you could use a sticker chart. That worked for my girls...if they went potty on the chair 3 time/day, they got a little gift. After a few days of that, increase it to 4 or 5x day to receive a gift.
It only took a week with my 1st & 2nd daughters...my 1st was 3 when she was trained, my 2nd was 2 years & 3 mos when she was trained. My 3rd is 22 mos. old & I'm going to start with her in a month or so.

I have 2 girls and they both trained right at their 3rd birthdays. My older daughter just kind of did it on her own when she was ready. With my youngest, I told her that we weren't buying diapers anymore after this package was gone and she would have to use the potty. I knew she was ready, but if given the choice she'd choose diapers! Don't stress over it and don't stress her out. Keep talking about using the potty, but don't make a big deal out of it.

Hi S.: I also had a hard to toilet train child. I made a chart and hung it in the bathroom and everytime my child did his job he was allowed to put a star on the chart. We had red a d gold stars. When he reached his goal of a certain number of each colored star he was allowed to pick a prize. It didn't take long and he was train on the toilet. Worth a try anyhow don't you think.
Good Luck. Dee

S. - my advice to you is to relax! It could be a power thing with your daughter. If you just quit trying to make her use the potty, she just may actually want to. I have an 8 year old son and a 7 year old daughter. I nver pushed potty training my son and right after he turned 3 he was ready to do it on his own. He was fully potty trained within a week. It was the easiest thing I had ever done. My daughter, on the other hand, wanted to potty train at 2 years old (at the same time my son was getting potty trained) and it was a huge struggle. It took six months! Trust me -- your precious angel will not be wearing diapers to kindergarten. Just relax and it will be so much easier to potty train when she is totally ready -- not just because you are ready! Good luck.

S. L

S.,
I went through a much similar dilemma with my (now) 3-yr-old. We tried everything--she was scared of the potty--wouldn't go. And then one day, everything just clicked for her. We did a lot of naked time, but I don't know if this is conducive to your living/working lifestyle. My neighbor first suggested the naked time to me--she mentioned she was fortunate enough to potty train her boys in the summer, because they were naked all the time!
Plus, 2 1/2 is still little--she'll be ready when her little brain gets to the stage--and one day (very soon, I promise) she'll tumble out of the bathroom with an "I did it!" (Proud moments). The real battle is #2--at least it was for us. There was no way our daughter was going to do #2 in the potty--she must have held it for a week! (and honestly, there wasn't a thing we could do about it--but wait it out) But then, she discovered that once she did it everything was OK.

Good luck! I know it's tough--and just keep telling yourself--YOU are NOT alone!

K.

Hi S.!
I have 3 daughters, ages 8, almost 6 and 2 1/2. I just want to tell you not to worry. I stressed with my first, but I think that it's around 2-3 yrs. that's most common for kids to recognize ahead of time the signs of having to go potty and be able to make it to the bathroom on time. It will happen even though right now seems frustrating. My second daughter showed no interest unil one day she decided she wanted to "tinkle" on the potty, she did, and used all the time after. My third has used it on and off because of her sisters, but I just haven't pushed it and she is the same age as yours. I did see a Dr. Phil episode a few years ago where he showed having the child drink LOTS of fluid, then after and half an hour to an hour of fluid overload, they marched the child into the bathroom, went thru the whole routine of pants down, sit down, try, back up, pants up, back out of bathroom. Keeping everything fun, they did this 8 times and when the child had success, they threw streamers, cheered, etc. I think Thomas the Tank Engine called and said congrats and continue with the good job going on the potty like a big kid. Anyway, I believe 8 times might have been the magical number and keeping everything upbeat, fun and stressfree, not to mention the fluid overload. Everything is a season and before you know it, you will know where every bathroom is in every store and gas station within a 20 mile radius.
Good luck,
C.

Sounds like she is not ready. Please just leave it alone. She will do it when she is ready and if you force her before she is ready it could cause serious behavioral and psychological problems (from what I have read and witnessed) 40% of 3 year olds are in diapers. It is NOT a big deal. The last thing you want is bad emotions tied to going to the potty.

Let her get involved - go pick out some underwear together. Then make it part of your routine for now. You try to go potty after you wake up, before you leave the house, before lunch, before and after nap... Even if it's only for 3 seconds sitting there and a grunt - take it. With both my kids one day they woke up after this routine and said that they only wanted to wear their underwear now. I said great that means we only go in the potty and went from there. If you are FRUSTRATED take a break for a few days. From there you can do treats after she goes or make a potty chart - 5 circles and she gets to go out and buy a doll or she gets to watch a movie after she poops on the potty... Good luck.

Does ur day care know ur trying to potty train her? If there not working with her there its going to be harder at home. My daughter loved stickers so I put a lil sticker board in there and every time she went I would give her a sticker. we also did the m&m trick. Also let her pick out some underwear that SHE likes. pull ups are great BUT they only let them know its still a diaper and they dont feel it as easy as the panties. (sure its a mess but..) go to a thrift store and get a bunch of panties that can be thrown away if u dont like cleaning out messes.Also if shes NOT ready and wanting to try this now just WAIT if u keep forcing she WONT go for a long time. I had a freind who kept forcing her boy to go and he was almost 5 when she finally got him and there was ALOT of yelling and screaming cause she would get flustrated. Good LUCK. hope u find something that works.
W.

My son will be 3 in April. He does the same thing your daughter is doing - tells me he is going potty while doing it. He was very interested in going to the bathroom several months ago and then it was completely gone. I feel pressured to get him trained, but know that he is not ready. We've tried treats, he has his own potty chair, and big boy pants. His daycare provider knows we are trying as well. I have talked to friends and when they pushed their children they actually regressed. Keep trying and don't give up. I agree, it will happen when she is ready. Good Luck!!!

I would just back off for a little while. It is amazing once kids are ready they go at it whole heartedly. Once my son decided that he was ready, at 3 1/2, it took him one week to be accident free and fully potty trained. You said that you work full time, does Kennedy go to school during this time? If so, are they working with her on it? finally most kids at this age start going at regualar intervals, such as after morning snack and just after lunch. If she is becoming this regular, try sitting her on the potty right before her "normal time." She may know "what is supposed to happen", just not "how to make it happen." Hope this helps!

I know it's not something you want to hear, but try not to push her. Both of my kids went when they were ready. My son was almost 3, and my daughter was as well. I did not use pull-ups, it makes them think they are in diapers. Buy the absorbent underpants, and put those on her. I also let my kids run around without any underpants or pants on when we were at home. I also took the potty chair wherever we were playing in the house, and used stickers on the calendar when they used the potty. If she has an accident, make sure you tell her it is no big deal, don't ever yell at her, it only makes them not want to use the potty even more. I also set a timer, and every time it went off, they had to try to use the potty. There is no easy way to potty train if they are not ready. Give it time-she will get there!!! Good Luck!
K. L.

My daughter just turned 2 in January and we had bought her a potty chair about 6 months ago and just put it in the bathroom for her to just try it out when she wanted to. When she turned 2, we started encouraging her to use it and she did so so but wasn't that interested. My sister sent her a Cabbage Patch doll for her birthday. The doll had on underpants instead of a diaper and her name is Brianna. When we opened the doll, we said Brianna is a big girl because she's wearing underpants. Our daughter laid on the ground and cried and said she's a big girl and then she got up and went to her room and grabbed her underpants out of her drawer and never went back to diapers again. She says all the time that she's a big girl and not a baby. It was crazy but maybe some little trick like this might help your daughter. I just thought I'd share what helped us.
Good Luck.

When my daughter turned 2, I decided that I was going to start potty training!! Bad idea, she is very independent and that was not something she was even interested in. She knew what she was suppose to do, and would go once in a great while, but if it wasn't HER IDEA, she wasn't going for it.. 2 days before she turned 2 1/2, she had a major, major blow out, I mean poop and pee out her diaper, down her legs every where, while we were on our way home so she had to sit in it.. As soon as we got home, I took her clothes off, wiped her down, and put her in the tub. When she was done taking a bath, she said no diaper, I want my underware and has wore them ever since. I know that this is a little different then your daughter, but you might just have to make it her idea and like you said, don't push her because it will mostlikely back fire on you!!!!!

My advise to you is let it happen in its own natural time. I was under pressure by well meaning family to potty train my daughter and nothing worked. After talking to a co-worker she gave me the advice to let it be. When my daughter turned 3 I was sure I would be packing diapers with her to Kindegarten. Two weeks later she came to me and asked to where her big girl panties, which she helped pick out months before. We put them on and she never had an accident. She also slept throught the night with know accidents. I truly believe when they are ready, that is when it will happen. Good luck and keep a sense of humor about it.

I felt like we had a horrible time training our twin daughters to use the potty. I first started trying to train them just after they turned 2, and it was a process that went on for what felt like forever. They finally got it the next summer, after they turned 3. I would definitely do it differently next time - I don't think they were ready or interested, and so nothing i did made a difference in their training. When they finally learned, it was while we were visiting my MIL, who has a pool. the girls spent a lot of time running around naked or in their swimsuits, and by the time we came home from vacation, they were pretty much accident free.
I guess my suggestion, and what I would do differently next time, is back off and let her decide she's ready to use the potty. It will happen, I promise!! I'm sure you're pretty frustrated after a year of trying to potty train your little girl; I know I was. From what I've read, the later you start trying to potty train, the quicker it's going to go because they are more likely to be interested, and their bodies are developmentally ready for voluntary elimination.
Good luck!