1St Grader Crying and Doesn't Want to Go to School (Its Only Been 4 Days)

Just stay really positive about it when talking to him. Remind him that he has to go to school. Remind him of the things he likes. Try to drop him off quickly...don't show him you are worried. It often takes about a month for some kids to get the hang of things. He will be fine.

Give him time. He will adjust. They get tired. It's a long day. Unfortunately, this is a non-negotiable situation. They do all adjust some sooner some later. Hanf in. It will get better. As long as you remain upbeat and excited, it will be Ok.

Put a penny I. His pocket. When he is sad, tell him to touch it and it will remind him of you.

I think, like you surmised, that he's a bit intimidated with the size of the school and the number of kids. He will adjust.

Try getting the book "The Kissing Hand." It's about a baby raccoon who is afraid to leave his mom and go to school. It's adorable and kids really identify with it and use the technique and it works!

He's adjusting.
It is a transition.

At my kids' school, per the "young" grades, there is a Counselor that works with the young kids, who are having adjustment trouble.
And its fine.
(My own daughter went through that in 1st grade/Kindergarten. And she saw the Counselor. It was play therapy. And it helped my daughter.)

ALL the Teachers/Counselors KNOW that kids these ages can go through that.

Just let your son "vent" or talk to you about his feelings etc.
But don't make him feel inadequate. Tell him he is normal... MANY kids go through that. And you are glad he tells you his feelings.
Comfort him etc.
And keep in contact with the Teacher to see how he is doing.
And see what she can do.... to help him.
But mostly, a kid does need to adjust.
Some kids more than others.

Speaking as a mom (daughter is 18 and just started college) and as an educator (substitute teacher over 12 yrs mostly in 1st grade)

Your son is going through a huge change. Small school and 1/2 day kinder to a large school and all day 1st grade is stressful.

The K program at our elementary school is an all day program and the K's are around the other students often in order to make adjustments to school. STILL, many of the children feel stress when they start 1st grade. I think there is more pressure to perform due to spelling tests that are now given weekly as well as timed math quizzes which are just to get a guide for where the student stands on those subjects and where we need to target any special concerns for academics.

Socially, it is still a change. The grade level is different, schedule is different, some children have matured a bit and others not, the list goes on and on.

I've had many parents stay in the classroom until all announcements were over and I was starting class. Then, when parents start to leave, some children decide they don't want mom to go and then there is a bit of disruption in the classroom which in turn embarrasses the student in front of his/her peers. In no way am I suggesting you have gone overboard... I'm only stating what I have witnessed. Some schools have rules in place that parents do not walk to the classroom. Our school has not done that because we do want parent involvement but it is encouraged to drop them off at class, say your goodbye and move on.

Of course your son is overwhelmed and it make take a couple of weeks to get into the routine. Please do check with the teachers because most of the time, the students who are stressed about leaving mom and the change are ok during school when they are in groups, etc for class. I know if a teacher is aware of some extra stress on a certain child, we do make extra effort (as a teaching team) to make sure that child gets what he/she needs.

I am sorry I have no magic words for you except to be patient, loving and try not to let him pick up that you are feeling so badly for him. Don't bait him with questions if someone isn't nice, etc.

Make sure he gets good rest, good breakfast and if you feel the need, maybe have a reward system in place for him at the end of the day which adds up to a special treat or something at the end of the week if he has all smiley faces, etc from the teacher in his daily report.

Best wishes!

This falls in the normal range of behavior.

First grade is all business. No play centers, not really much story time etc.. This is a work day for him. Not as much time to make good friends right away. They are expected to pay attention to the teachers and to listen and to work.

He does not have a school stamina yet..

Maybe consider seeing if you can gather some classmates with their parents on the playground after school one afternoon a week?First grade Parents can get to know each other and the children will have some real time to play and run around together.
Everyone take a snack and drink..

Be strong for him. Let him know you know he is doing a great job at school, learning lots of things. . Focus on his accomplishments each day. At dinner each of you tell your favorite thing you did at work or at school.

Your job is to stay strong for him and assure them he is doing just fine. That he is making friends. Be interesrted with positive and informative questions..

"Who did you sit next to at lunch?"
"What did your friend take for lunch?"
"What colors are the school colors?"
"Does your school have a Mascot? Oooh, draw me a picture? "
Did you go to special studies today? Like Music? PE? Spanish? What is the art teachers name? What is the Coaches name?

Show me how you write your name. Did you know this is how you spell my name? Wow as a first grader, You can spell when I tell you the letters? That is so cool!

You get the idea..

It is hard to see our children upset, nervous, hesitant, but they end up loving the attention for their successes. Help him realize his successes every day.

My daughter didn't have a new school but had a very hard time adjusting to 1st grade. She loved K. She wanted to go back to K. I was told its not uncommon. Tell your son that and keep comforting him and reassuring him. No easy fix but it got way way better with time. It's so hard to watch I know. It's part of growing up and it's painful but unavoidable. Kissing hand is good. Notes in his lunch. Foster friendships. Try to set up play dates. Remember that him getting thru this will make him stronger. Tell him he's not alone. Lots of kids probably want to be back in k. Make up a story that you hated 1st grade at first but then it got better. It won't happen overnight though. :(

We went though the same thing.
When our son started 1st grade he cried every single school morning till almost Thanksgiving.
I felt so horrible - I didn't know what to do.
It was a new school for him, they didn't do naps in 1st grade at all (they did in kindergarten), and the teacher he had that year was particularly awful.
But once he got over his morning cry, he seemed to settle down and have pretty good time the rest of his day.
Fortunately, 2nd grade (at the same school) was fantastic - he had a teacher who was a kindred spirit and it was an all around wonderful year.

We went through this. Two weeks of "my stomach hurts. I am going to puke." "Don't make me go." "I wanna stay home." Went to visit and have lunch with him, thinking it would help, and his first grade teacher had to literally peel my child off me. And when I left he tried to grab the door and escape. He was going to the same school he went to for kindergarten and it was all day kindergarten. He knew many kids. His teacher was wonderful. It didn't make any sense at all. His teacher assured me it was normal, that many children have a hard time adjusting to the big changes. And it sounds like your kiddo is having a tougher time with it.

In our school our counselor spends the first two weeks at the start of the day with kindergartners. The principal explained that most everyone is happy the first day. The second day, kids get nervous and start doubting themselves. By the third day they realize it's a permenant thing and that they aren't so sure. By the third day, that is when the tears start. So the counselor is there to help with the transition.

It sounds like your son is just stressed from the change in schools. I think I would enlist the help of the counselor. She may have some suggestions to make the transition easier to handle. Good luck mama.

The Kissing Hand was the first thing that popped into my mind, too.

Sounds like your little guy is exhausted! Maybe the two of you can snuggle up in bed this evening and read a book together. You've received some really great advice already.

Patience, patience, patience. He will find his way, it's just hard for him right now. Try not to push other kids on him too much, let him settle in and get comfortable with his new surroundings. Then he can start to recognize familiar faces and begin making friends.

Just make sure he is well rested, had a good breakfast and has mom waiting with a hug when he gets out of school! Good luck- he'll get through this, you'll see! :)

Aw.. I am sure that hurts!
This is a huge change for your little boy, and he will need you to be sweet but strong to get used to the adjustment. Kindergarten is all fun, now First Grade is fun and..... work.
When I sent my oldest to Kindergarten, he was very thrilled about it, and then when he went to First Grade, it was like you mentioned here, my kid was sad and reluctant. I made for him a red and soft heart with a piece of flannel and I filled with rice, I glued a "I love you" patch on it, and I gave it to him. I told him that it was my symbol of love for him that he could hold every time he felt sad or uneasy. He liked it very much and made him feel better (at that time, I told his teacher about it). You may want to do something like this.
It would be very good that you talk to him very enthusiastically about school, classmates, teacher, activities, etc every day before and after school, but do it in a casual way, like : "I'll give you a good breakfast before you go to school that will keep you focus and smart, what would you like to have:oatmeal and apples, or pancakes?", then..."sweetheart, would like to take these new crayons to school?, yo can share them with your best friend in the class!". After school, you may say something like: "How fun was your school day, Paul?", "What did you do in Math?", "What was your favorite part of your day?,why?, "Who is your best friend?", etc....Tell him about nice and funny things that happened to you at his age at school, and laugh together! Talk in the car these things but shortly, and when you get home forget about school and let him play, have a good snack, and then later if there is homework, guide him and let him do his stuff. Before going to bed, prepare together all his things for the next school day: clothes, backpack, shoes, etc, and ask him about what T-shirt he would like to wear, etc. When he goes to sleep, tuck him in, hug him long and kiss him good night, and tell him : "I am proud of you to be so courageous, tomorrow it will be a good day, and you'll learn many things!"
A. :)

Ugh. As a parent that is the worst feeling knowing your child is struggling to adjust. As a teacher I can tell you that drop off time has to be like ripping a band-aid off. Be upbeat and positive, give him a hug and kiss, but then turn him over to his teacher....as difficult as that is to do!! It truly is for the best! Teachers are very good at redirecting an emotional student and it will also give your son and his teacher opportunity to bond with each other. When he gets the impression from you that this is normal and you will see him later, it makes it easier for him to adjust. Keep in daily contact with his teacher and even speak to the principal or counselor about the situation. Many times another teacher will "triage" with students that are struggling, so they will make a special effort to check in on them throughout the day when the classroom teacher is unable to do so. Sometimes the teacher, counselor or another staff member will set aside time to have lunch with your student and another child or two from class to help forge new friendships. The more he gets to know teachers and classmates, the easier it will be to settle in. Make some noise about it if you must, to ensure everyone is helping him adjust to this new environment. Teachers, especially the very young primary grades, focus mostly on classroom community building in the first several weeks, if not months, creating an environment that feels warm and safe for the kids. Just know he is most likely in very good hands, but keep tabs on it until the situation resolves itself.
Things you can do at home to help. Make sure your son is getting plenty of exercise, rest and good nutrition. All of these things play a huge, albeit seemingly silent role in your child's success at school. The more consistent you are with routines, the more comfortable and trusting he will be with adapting to these new changes. Reading books like the Kissing Hand or adopting your own special ritual will help him feel connected to you even when you are away. Talking about his day will help you gauge what is going on at school. Be patient with him. My son started kindergarten this year and I don't get a lot of information from him right away. It usually comes out in bits throughout the afternoon and evening as he decompresses. Putting notes/treats in his lunchbox or backpack can help. Visiting for lunch is always a treat, but I would give it another week or so to let him get used to school, so he doesn't get upset all over again. Good luck! My daughter will start kindergarten next year and can have separation anxiety too. I will probably be re-reading this post to remind myself what to do since I am in the parent role now instead of the teacher role!
Hope this helps!
A.

!st grade is much more academic than yrs ago...
It usually takes time to adjust. Some kids are more sensitive than others.

How did the testing go w/ your son?

When I was in first grade, June E. cried all day every day for about a month. Her mother made her go to school. She finally relaxed and did ok. She was in my kindergarten class, too. We all felt for her. She was the youngest in our grade.

I'm sure the big school and all the kids is overwhelming... Not to mention all the work, the rules, and the changes from kinder.

Just keep plugging along. He will adjust.

What a hard, heartbreaking time for you. I haven't experienced this directly with my own child, but have with children I have cared for as a nanny.

First, and this is important just to ease your mind: it may be that it is just the separation from you and the change of situations which trigger the tears. This in itself is enough. My guess is that he's been pretty transparent about what's been going on. It IS a big deal to have new adults introduced to you and then have OTHER adults walk you to lunch. That might have even felt scary for him, to look up and NOT see this new teacher he is going to want to bond with, but a completely different person. I get it.

One child I cared for was just a wreck before school during drop-offs. Her mother really worked with the teacher to figure out how to be supportive while not disruptive. If you can talk to the teacher and ask if she has any suggestions, that's great. Most of us who work with children are big believers in a confident goodbye and just leaving; sometimes the child has a harder time moving into their day at school when parents are around. Yet, too, the teacher may see that this would be helpful. My advice would be to check in with her as to what you could do to help her help him, if that makes any sense.:)

My guess is that he is also now mourning the loss of his old school and the sense of security and safety he experienced there, plus the longer day is a change as well. It IS extra work for him. Wrap all those things up, and your little guy is experiencing a LOT.

Can I share a couple ideas with you? My son is also moving from half-day kindergarten in a small building to full-day in the 'main' building of the school. His school start next week. On the day before school, we get to visit the classroom and I'm going to take an extra few minutes to walk him around again, to show him where the bathroom is, etc as well as reminding him where comforting places like the library and cafeteria are. I don't expect that he will have forgotten, but it's to offer some balance in the 'newness' of things. I am also planning my days so that things like shopping and dinner prep will be done before I pick him up; I'll also have a snack in hand because I know he'll be hungry. We'll likely even stick around the playground for a bit to play with friends-- and that might be something to do if you have time. Lastly, I am expecting that he is going to really need my support after school and I'm going to be flexible about expectations as he adjusts. Lots of cuddle/snuggle down times as I can find them and earlier bedtimes.

I should also add that it sounds like you are doing everything right.:) So do check in with the teacher and then go forward. Last year my son had a very, very rough first couple of months starting school which I would not wish on anyone. Even doing everything the very best we can, this is their challenge to manage, all we can do is give them our support, love and encouragement.

Good advice here. You might try something off the wall, like get a yearbook and let him look at the pictures of familiar people and learn their names and see the rooms for specials. Let him tell you his day(and stresses) as he looks at the pictures.

I just remember kinder was fun, and first grade it got real...and I never enjoyed it. I was bored out of my mind all the way through school, starting then. It's way too long, and a bunch of other stuff. My kids are going through this and I'm trying to think of an alternative...but I'm not wanting to homeschool, and I don't think that would be ideal either. They need a professional setting, like school.
I had a tic thing too and it was ruthless with the other kids.
School is...tough.