1St Day of Day Care

Updated on February 25, 2010
B.W. asks from Salt Lake City, UT
18 answers

My leave is coming to an end so back to work for me. My little one is going to day care next week (only for ~25 hours a week) . Do any of you have suggestions on making the transition easier for both of us? He is 10 weeks old and going to be in at home child care. We visited today and talked about schedule, what to bring, etc. I am more concerned about the emotional part for me!! I am going to miss him terribly and cry just thinking about it. Any wisdom is appreciated!

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers


answers from Kansas City on

I started taking my daughter to an in home daycare at 10 weeks old. She is now 15 months. I thought I was just going to die from sadness that first week. I could not stop crying! I was even desperately searching online/work at home jobs because all I wanted to do was be near my baby every second of the day. The only thing that I can say that will make you feel better is that it WILL get easier. Someone told me that my first day back to work and I thought to myself, "uh uh, nope, I don't believe you, it will not get better". Fortunately I was wrong and it did. I just kept telling myself that she will benefit from being around other kids. Now when I drop her off the other kids will shout "Mia!" when we come down the steps. They all seem to get along and play together so well. Good luck to you, I wish you the best. Just remember to hang in there :)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Indianapolis on

It will definitely be harder on you than it is on him at 10 weeks old.

As long as you've chosen the best facility, it will make it a lot easier.
Our son was in in-home (at our home) day care until he was 2. Our daughter started at a facility at 9 weeks.

The more you get to know the teachers in the room and the providers, the easier it will be on you (they like getting to know the parents, too). You'll know that your baby is in good hands. At this age, they'll spend most of their time sleeping. And, the teachers LOVE holding and coddling the newborns.

My only advice is to make sure you make up for the time lost during the day in the evenings. You employer should be empathetic initially. What I would not recommend is being tempted to go see him during the day - it will make it harder on you (and him when he gets older).

Another thing that really comforted me was seeing the other parents and how happy they were when they dropped-off/picked-up. To me that was the sign of a good, healthy environment for my kids.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Provo on

Stay home if you can and take care of him. Give up your extras if you need to. Your baby will be so much better off with his own mother.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Denver on

If you can spend an hour or so there b4 the actual might help. Also at 10 weeks it will be harder for you than your litle one. He is too young to really have seperation anxiety. My daughter started daycare (in home) at 7 weeks. You will be amazed at how child providers can manage their kids and keep everyone on a schedule. Yes you will cry of course but it is normal and you will think about him so much but it is an adjustment for everyone and it does get easier. Try to allow work to keep your mind busy and careful driving home as I know you wil be i ahurry to hold your swet baby. My duaghter turned 2 in January and of course I would have loved to have had more time with her but looking back and knowing some friends who put their kids in daycare at 2 or 3, even at 1 years of age I think I would not want that cause it would be even harder on both (mom and child) and may take longer for the child to adjust. I have seen this with some of the new kids that started going to where my daughter goes. Take some peace of mind that he is in an in home daycare and you know the only person that wil be watching your angel. You will not walk in at whatever time and see someone you never met holding/feeding your child, which could potenially happen with those commercial daycares. In home daycares provide more than just daycare they provide a loving home for your child while you are not there. I love where my daughter goes and would not change it for the world, she is soo comfortabl there. She loves all the kids. I am due with baby # 2 and is not worried about leaving this one to return to work. Good luck and hope all goess well...bring some tissure for the ride into work and I promise you will be ok. You are a mom and love your son there is now way around not crying, try to hold most of it though till you get to your car an then let the tears roll. You are not alone in this one.



answers from Boston on

Have you considered an Au Pair program? I know many people has considered this option because of flexible schedules and you know your child will be be cared for in a familiar surroundings, plus you can have more control over child care activities and they can even help with other household need. For the cost, I've researched and on average the weekly cost of having an au pair is less than other childcare options. Well, you can find more information at www.goaupair.com
Hope that helps!!



answers from St. Cloud on

The best thing to do is give take him out of the carseat and give him a hug and kiss, then hand him over and leave. It will be harder the longer you stand there.

Let the daycare provider know that you plan on calling to check in since it's his first day. I always TOLD my parents to give me a call! I understand how hard it would be to leave my little baby and I welcomed anything that would make the parent feel better. That way they could call and HEAR that the baby was okay and not crying and have me tell them a little about the day.



answers from Salt Lake City on

I had to have both my boys start at 6 weeks to daycare. The first time dropping them off you have to just give him a kiss and leave don't linger because then that makes it worse. I cried for the first week of dropping them off but I knew they were in good hands. My daycare knew how hard it was for me that they said call anytime to see how they are doing. So I would call a few times during the day to make sure they were fine. I believe your little one might cry at first but after a couple seconds of you leaving he will be just fine and playing. The daycare people know how to help the kids transition and help get them distracted. It is always hard the mommies because we do everything for our kids. But your little one will have fun and it will just be that much more excited when you pick him up. Good luck.



answers from Great Falls on

When I went back to work my son was 10 weeks. I started adjusting him by dropping him off for a few hours each day for 3 days (Monday - Wednesday) before I really had to start work again (Thursday). I ran some errands, wandered in the mall, just to get used to not having him around 24/7. He seemed to do really well when I dropped him off for his first full day.



answers from Boise on

It is definitely hard, but it will get easier with time. The thing that especially helped me was to go during my lunch break to nurse my son, and now my daughter. It not only keeps you connected, but it lets you see the day-to-day workings of the day care, and feel good about the care the children get there. Really knowing that your child is in a good caring situation helps you feel a lot better. You'll make it, and so will he.
Another suggestion is to plan nothing but mommy-baby cuddle time for the first week or so that you're working. Get some frozen lasagnes and anything else to simplify your evenings during the adjustment.
Good luck!



answers from Albuquerque on

Oh, I feel ya! My girl (15 months) started at her daycare when she was 9 weeks old and it was probably one of the hardest weeks of my life! I was breastfeeding at the time, and fortunate to find a daycare ~1mile from my work, so I did go to see her every day for lunch (just the first week). It made things a little easier, and I could "sneak in" to see how they were treating her during the day.
I think the care provider you choose is one of the most important decisions you will make in your babies' young life. So, be sure that you are entirely comfortable leaving him there. I never felt uncomfortable leaving my girl, and now she walks herself in the door, goes right to her classroom (now with the toddlers), and hugs her teachers hello and goodbye!
Like the other mom(s) said, it will be hard, but it will get better.
Good luck and best wishes!



answers from Denver on

It's hard no matter what. I would agree with some of the previous responses to try not to linger too long the first morning. If you need to sit in your car in the parking lot for a while to cry, that's fine! Also, do not be afraid to call and check in - it will make you feel alot better. Finally, for the first couple of weeks I slept with a blanket every night that I would leave with the baby at daycare the next day so that he would have a familiar smell in his crib when he was napping.



answers from Denver on

There is no magical way to make it easier, but know it's completely normal to be sad (and in my case cry uncontrollably on and off all day at work!!!). Just get through it one hour at a time and don't let yourself get overwhelmed and think that you'll never feel okay leaving her. Commit to one week and then see how it is going - each day will get a tiny bit easier. I called the provider to check on the baby which made me feel better. I even went at lunch to feed her, but I realized it was leaving twice in one day, and I couldn't do it. Take it one day at a time, and don't be too h*** o* yourself. Let yourself cry and be sad... you'll be just fine.



answers from Denver on

I empathize with your situation. I did the same thing, at 6 months, and felt like my heart was being ripped out. I came and visited at lunch to breastfeed, and it was so difficult. He also didn't adjust well to the situation. After a few months we took him out and got a nanny and life has been wonderful ever since. We are all much less stressed and much happier. He sleeps A LOT better. It depends on you and on your child. My point in writing is to tell you to stay aware and realize there are other options if you need them. The part time nanny was pretty simlar in cost for us. (This is not always a better option, I am just mentioning it in our case.)

Good Luck!



answers from New York on

I am a mother of two and a family childcare provider and I think the best way for you is to have your husband or partner drop off, so it's easy on you and the baby. I am sure the baby will be fine, but maybe ask the provider to have a couple of trial days where you can get some time to disgest the process, and have sometime to regroup before you return to work. In the end you will be sad but look forward to you pick up time daily and your nights/weekends with your little one!!!!



answers from Pocatello on

It is very hard to go back to work after a new baby, I can sympathize! With my second I went back to full time work when she was 6 weeks old. I cried all the way to work after dropping her off, luckily I was riding to work with a good friend at the time. Having another mother to talk to on the way really helped. My work week is Monday - Friday so I went back on a Thursday so I would only have to go 2 days & then I could spend 2 days with her before having to go back again on Monday for a full work week; that seemed to help me with the transition. She didn't seem to have a problem with the transition. Another thing that helped me was to get up early enough to be able to feed her & hold her for about an hour before going to work; I know that may sound crazy but it was always the best way to start the day & I had to be to work at 7:00 w/ 1/2 hour drive to work so this meant I had to be up by 4AM to be able to do that but it was totally worth it. You might need that extra hour just getting ready at first until you get in the swing of things. Good luck! You will be ok & so will your baby.



answers from Boise on

Okay, definitely call throughout the day if you need to. Daycare providers understand this need and should be very supportive of it. I would suggest having a routine. For me, it was holding my son, or put him down, while I put everything away (we did cloth diapers, so that was a daily thing for us). Then, when I was ready to leave, I would give him a hug and a kiss, say goodbye, and hand him over. That helped for when he got older.

This will be much harder on you than him. I would make sure that his schedule is as consistent as possible. My son started with Monday and Friday (that was what the center had available), and he was horrible. When we went to 5 days, he was amazingly better. Don't visit throughout the day, and take advantage of the time you do have with him. I am going to have to do this again with my next in a few months, so I feel your pain. Hang in there. It gets better.


answers from Fort Collins on

It looks like you already have a lot of good advice. I am an in-home daycare provider and also a mother who has had her own infant in childcare. I would just like to add that, as both a mother and a child care provider, I completely support the idea of mothers visiting their children during the day to nurse/visit. I did that with my son when he was in care and I have mom's that come to my house to do that now. I think it is a wonderful opportunity for bonding and it helps the day go by faster! (Of course, if you find that it makes things harder for you or your child, you may not want to visit.) I LOVED seeing my son at lunchtime each day...and I know it is an important part of the day for the infant I watch now and her mother. Also, the mother is very comfortable with leaving her daughter here because she visits so often and knows what goes on daily. She knows me and the other children very well and I think that helps her to be more comfortable when she goes to work.

Your baby will adjust well...and so will you, over time. Just be sure you are comfortable with your provider and feel free to call and/or visit whenever you'd like. (Personally, I would only put my child in a child care that has an open-door policy.)

Best of luck!



answers from Denver on

You will cry and be sad for a very long time. Just remember, this is ok, your baby is fine and in time you will feel better and so will he. I wish there was an easier way to transition but like anything we don't like, it just takes a while to work through it.

Your baby is lucky he has such a caring mother. Good luck!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions