13 Month-old Sleeping in Our Bed... Bad?

Hi C.! I am going thru the same thing with my 16 month old. She has always been a horrible sleeper and I need to sleep eventually too! So I have have been trying the cry it out method, and it lasts longer than I hoped. So I just bought The Homedics Sound Spa Lullaby, and for 2 nights she has slept thru the night! It has 3 lullaby's and 3 sounds, rain, ocean and heartbeat. But it also has a projector with 3 discs for pictures on the ceiling. So far so good! I got it on Walmart.com if you are interested! Good Luck!

K. G

This is another one of those no right answer sort of questions. At this age, I don't think you're doing any psychological damage to her, but you may be setting yourself up for difficulties in the future when she's 3 and refuses to sleep in her own bed. However, because of your current living situation, this may be the only option for you, and you do what is necessary to keep the household somewhat at peace. For me personally, it's a bad choice, but every family is different. At 6 weeks my son went into the crib in his own room (he had been in a bassinet in our room, not even in our bed) and that was the end of any discussion about it at our house. But again, he didn't give us much trouble and who's to say that if he fussed a lot, that I wouldn't have brought him back into our room? It all comes down to personal decisions, and you're going to catch flak for it no matter what you decide, just like with every other decision you're going to make. I can't believe how everyone has an opinion on EVERYTHING I do with my son - I caught it for not circumsizing him, for choosing to breastfeed, for not letting him sleep in my bed, for not staying home with him until he was in school, for my methods of discipline, for not reacting when he trips unless he's obviously hurt, for choosing to use sign language in addition to English & Spanish, for only bathing him every other night... and the list goes on.

Just do whatever feels best for your family and you won't be wrong. She's big enough that unless you guys are reaaaaly deep sleepers, you probably won't roll over onto her at night (she'll let you know, lol). If you really don't want her sleeping in your bed though, buy a few pairs of earplugs for your parents and let them know that you're trying it this way. Best of luck!

My cousin let her daughter do the same thing... 4 years later she's still in bed with them. She refuses to sleep in her own bed. They start the night off in her bed & by the time morning rolls by, she's back in theirs again. As long as you don't mind her being in bed with you, then let her sleep with you. Otherwise, change things now, even if your parents have to wake up from letting her cry it out a few nights or so.

No,she has found comfort and that is important. My girls both had that issue. We made a bed on my side of the bed on the floor and they slept great and so did we. My girls hated their crib, but loved the floor and beds. We even put a mattress on the floor and that would work too. We started the transition durimg naps in their room on a mattress and it went pretty well. I love slEeping with my girls! Wish that time didn't go so fast! They are fine, by the way! No problems!

It can cause some dysfunction, but then there are societies that all sleep together, so go figure. It also can get to you and your husband's need for privacy. The best solution is to let her cry it out. Begin with the first nap of the day. Tell her in a soft voice that momy is not going to pick her up and she has to stay in bed for her nap. Just put her down without any of the soothing such as rocking or back rubbing or turning on music, Then walk out of the room as confidently as you can. When she starts to cry, wait 5 min and pop your head in the room, then wait 10 min and pop it in again. If she sees you that is good, she will cry even harder and wear herself out. After 15 mnin pop your head in again. The purpose of your looking in is to reassure her that you are indeed still there and to reassure you that she is indeed okay. Go where the crying is least loud. Before you start, tell your parents you are going to try something that works and they may hear some more crying, but it will end. If she is really tenacious let her cry the full nap time and then get her up. Do the same for the next nap (if she is still taking two). Keep track of how long she is crying and see if it doesn't decrease, that will encourage all of you. Now at bedtime do the same and if and when she wakes up at night. At night, do not do anything to stimulate her, but once again just check her diaper and feel for a temp and if she's okay, calmly say momy is leaving now. Get the picture. The whole point is to change the bedtime routine so that now she must learn to be self-soothing. This will serve her in good stead all her life and introduce her to the one who will always be with her, herself.

If it's working for you don't change it. Yes it may be hard to transition later, but the sleep now may be well worth it. And no I don't think it will cause dysfunction. Check out healthy sleep habits happy child. I think he says to just be consistent with it.

From my (limited) understanding of co-sleeping/"the family bed," I have read that some Pediatricians feel there are great advantages to sleeping as a family. That being said, I believe that the family bed requires a strong, longer-term commitment and does not allow for quick and easy transition out of your bed. My husband and I are not family bed people. But that is our preference. I'm sure Moms who choose the family bed will have more info!

However, about the "cry it out..." If you are sleep training and try the cry it out method, it only lasts a few days (for most babies). If you and your parents can manage through a few tough nights, the crying will subside and your daughter will adjust to the schedule. I strongly recommend getting a copy of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" by Marc Weissbluth, MD. He offers great solutions to sleep issues (both cry-it-out and a softer approach).