10 Week Old Baby Doesn't Sleep / Nap During the Day, Ever! HELP

If wearing my baby worked to help her sleep, I would do it, for at least a couple of hours morning and evening. That leaves hands free to get at least a few things done, and she'd be getting the sleep she needs to help regulate brain growth and development. It could also help to make napping a more habitual part of her day.

It's also important to know that some babies just can't wait 3 hours between feedings during their first 2-3 months. They can't hold enough at a feeding to tide them over for that long. She could be hungry.

I hear that you are feeling desperate, but 10 weeks is MUCH too young to use CIO. Even proponents of this method acknowledge that the extensive and repeated release of the stress hormones cortisol and adrenalin can damage the brain (it actually makes some brain structures smaller). Babies do eventually fall asleep from exhaustion, but that's not the same thing as connected, cuddly and safe napping.

Have you tried the Happiest Baby on the Block techniques as taught by Dr. Harvey Karp?

How-to's: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6KnVPUdEgQ&feature=re...

Enhanced sleep: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tk5MUOMecHI&NR=1

Firstly, if you're EBFing then you *need* to feed her 'on-demand', NOT per a schedule. This may help with getting her sleepy. I know my 10 week old always sleeps better with a clean diaper, cozy sleeper and a full tummy :)

Some babies just prefer to sleep on mama. My first was like this. The ONLY way she would sleep was in my arms. We had to get a little creative when I needed my arms free, but we managed. Wear her when you need to be up and about. If she's your only, then maybe take her nap times as downtime for YOU! The dishes will still be there after you're done resting, and they're only this little and snuggly for so long.

Finally, hang in there. This may be a phase that'll pass, or you may have a cuddler on your hands :) Either way there is nothing wrong with you or her. Every baby is different - trust me! I've got 3 of the most different little girls you can *imagine*, but they're all perfect.

I had the worst trouble getting my 3-month-old daughter to nap, and she was a great night sleeper, too. A friend recommended the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth and it literally changed my life - our life. I realized that I had to teach her to nap. I started to put her down at 9 am and 1 pm religiously. It was hard and she resisted at first, but within a week she figured out that I was not abandoning her, that she actually was tired, and she has been napping twice a day, every day at those hours ever since. She is almost 13 months now. This book will tell you how to get there and what to do when the baby refuses to go down. I checked it out from the library, but I recommend purchasing it because it addresses sleep issues through the teenage years! Best of luck, and I hope this helps.

Oh you poor Mama!

I know just how you feel. After three kids I feel like I've read all the sleep books - each child had a different "issue" we worked to solve.

It sounds like your daughter is catching little catnaps and therefore never "sleeping" like you'd like for a real daytime nap.

Try watching your baby for CUES of being tired or hungry instead of worrying about "a schedule". Once you get in tune with your baby, you'll both fall into a routine where you know what she needs.

I really think that some babies are great daytime sleepers and have to learn how to sleep well at night, and others sleep well at night at this age.

I also think that if you don't let her fall asleep while nursing, and put her down about 90 mins after she's first awake in the morning, you might start falling into a napping pattern.

Out of all the books I read, I liked this one the best:
http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp...

He seemed to give a step by step schedule for your child by age. The best part is he tells you don't expect the baby to clock watch like you do. Learn to read your babies cues for being tired. Sometimes, they eat first thing in the morning, and go right back to sleep. A routine isn't the same as a clock watching schedule.

See if you can get some daytime help. You do need a break. And you need some rest too. Perhaps you can ask you DH if you can get a housecleaner, use Peapod for a few months, anything to help you rest and get to know your baby.

I'm sorry I don't have a perfect, instant answer. Just know that it will get better soon. My only suggestion is start feeding her when she wakes, play with her a bit, then watch her for signs of being tired. If you feed first, then you'll know the fussing is because she's tired, not hungry. That way she won't get used to nursing herself to sleep and catnapping.

Best wishes

I have 5 month old twins that do the same thing. When i get to the point that i need to have some time to myself i place them in their crib and turn on some music for them. They usually cry for a few minutes but i think than they realize they are tired and take a nap. Its hard to listen to them cry, even if it is a short amount of time, but the time i get to myself allows me to be a recharge and be a better mom

I know you've posted a few times about your sleep struggles. I again recommend Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution. I had a baby that didn't nap and also didn't sleep well at night. I had to wear her at night and day. It may not be realistic, but it became reality for me! The only other suggestion I can offer is to lay down and nurse so you can sleep while nursing. I unfortunately relied on the TV to entertain my toddler when I did this, but as you know, it's a matter of survival!

If you can get any other help, call on it. Have someone take baby for a walk and let you nap. Get a preteen or teen to come over and play with an older child so you can lay down and nurse. Or to play wear the baby while you sleep. Being this desperate, you need to get creative with ALL your resources to improve this situation! Good luck!

Why don't you try wrapping her up in a nice blanket so that when she falls sleep she is warm and comfortable and when you put her down in the crib she won't feel any temperature change or too much movement, that's what I did with my daughter who was the same way and it worked great!

J.,
I think what you are doing is fine. However, either you need to snuggle her after you feed her, and lay her down once she avoids your eyes and starts getting fussy, or hold her to sleep, but once you lay her down in her bed leave. She will cry, but that is just because she is use to you holding her for naps. Let her learn how to fall asleep without you. If she is sleep that well at night, then she obviously knows how to put herself back to sleep and jut needs a little nudge for naps. It almost sounds like she is over stimulated, and cant fall asleep. If this is happening she will need to cry before she sleeps to release all the tension and stress of being awake to long. Her crying doesn't mean that you are not dong your job. Babies cry to feel better too. Just like PMS:) I am not sure what the EBF schedule is but try feeding her, keeping her awake a bit and then putting her to bed when she starts getting fussy. Check the clock too cause once you know about how long it takes for her to get tired, if you put her down a few minutes before, she might not have all that stress to get rid of and maybe she will just drift off to sleep peacefully. I bet that it will only take about 3 days for her to start taking naps once you are consistent with what course you are going to take. Right now she needs about 16-20 hrs of sleep, so you are definitely right about her needing to nap. and just because she wakes after 30 min doesn't mean she is done napping. her naps should be 1 1/2-2 hrs long right now. So encourage her to go back to sleep, by leaving her alone for while, or comforting her and leaving her to sleep again. This still might involve crying, but she will pick it up quickly.
Lay her down and put some music on for you. She will benefit from this as much as you will, if not more.
Good luck
E.

Oh ya, and I am a big fan of a fan in the room. White noise always helps:)

Time to teach her how to sleep/self-sooth.

So if you are nursing, nurse her till she is really tired, and then put her in the crib. She will pop awake. Nurse again. Rinse and repeat until she sleeps. In about a week, you will be able to put her in the crib and she will then just go to sleep. It is worth the effort and energy to teach her this NOW.

The nature of baby sleep changes around 10-12 weeks. By 12 weeks, their sleep cycle is like ours, so the holding for 20 minutes doesn't work anymore. In fact, it makes it worse because they wake up and scream in horror because they don't know where they are --just like you would do if you fell asleep on a couch and woke up somewhere else.

Once you get this down, then you get the fun of nap consolidation in another month or two. When that happens, when she wakes after only sleeping 30-45 minutes, nurse her back into a tired state. She will then sleep longer. Or you can do the 5 minute startle (go in 5 minutes before she usually wakes up, get her to roll over by startling her awake a little bit). This resets the sleep cycle. With both, after a few days she will sleep 1.5-2 hours on her own. Anything less than 60 minutes is not a nap.

Last thing, start a schedule NOW. So first nap 1.5 hours after waking up. second nap 2 hours after that, etc. A schedule is great, because they will literally fall asleep at the same time every day --if you let them!

Hang in there. Just think, she could not be sleeping at night, which is the case for most people.

I know how you must be feeling. We all think we will get things done when the baby sleeps or at least have some time when no body wants something from us. When baby won't sleep it can send us into a panic and state of helplessness. Your daughter is still very young. I would not recommend CIO until much older. I used that method with my kids at about 8-10 months old.

First, let go of the expectations you had. This will not last forever, I promise!! But, this is how it is for now.

There have been lots of great references given and they are worth reading. However, I noticed in an earlier post that your daughter had a stuffy nose at 2 weeks old. PLEASE ask your doctor about the possibility of REFLUX. That is when the stomach flap does not stay shut and the contents of the stomach come back up into the throat irritating it. This could be why she is sound asleep, but when you lay her down she wakes up. Being upright keeps the stomach contents down. When she lays down flat, the stomach contents comes up. Google "infant reflux" and see if your daughter fits the symptoms. Children can have it at varying degrees and for varying lengths of time. If you have more questions about it, send me a message. I have survived 4 babies with reflux :-)

Best Wishes!

I really feel for you. I have 4 children (11, 7, 5, 2) and I can imagine how you must feel. None of my children were good sleepers at that age. Is she just awake or is she fussy? If she's just awake, I would suggest trying to let her fall asleep on her own, and when she wakes up in 20 minutes, wait a bit to see if she settles herself back to sleep. You could also try white noise. My kids always slept longer when a fan was running, but not blowing on them. This time of year you could try a white noise machine. I suspect she is sleeping well at night because she is so exhausted from not sleeping during the day. If she's fussy (like mine were) she may have reflux. We had to get a prescription for the last 3 ( we couldn't figure out what was wrong with the 1st one- looking back, we're sure he had it too) and it made a HUGE difference. Best of luck. I understand that kind of tired. It won't last forever; it just feels that way. Hang in there.

I feel for you!! My daughter was the very same way. I could sometimes get her to nap, but most days it was the two of us from about 6 AM to 5 PM. I can tell you that while it was REALLY hard when she was that young and you are so tired, look back I would not trade it for anything. Getting a good night sleep (even when she still got up during the night) was great. And, if it helps, she is 2 and still a great sleeper!

First, there is nothing wrong with your baby :-) or with what you are doing. This is normal!

My daughter spent many lovely naps sleeping on me or her Daddy or her big sister (17 at the time) the whole time (putting her down ended the nap immediately, so we didn't even try). The other things that would get her to nap were long walks in the comfy stroller (especially in cooler weather), and car drives (I drove around 'til she slept and then parked and had a book along to read). Really, I don't remember one nap at this age that didn't involve these things.

Once she started daycare, the very experienced women there could get her to nap, but even there, at some ages, they had to keep her separate from the other nappers cuz she would wake them up. They discovered that if they let her sleep on the floor among all the noise she would sleep better than in the "crib room".

BUT, she did keep napping until she started Kindergarten, we just had to stay creative in how we got her to sleep.