1 Yr Since Mom Passed

I posted a question and asked why people put those stickers on their car windows, I just personally wouldn't want the daily reminder that they were gone. But then too I guess its a reminder that they lived...so maybe ask them? I would rather do that than assume anything. Good luck!!!

My father has been gone over 20 years and I think the only thing needed is to be there if someone needs a hug or to talk or reminisce about the good times. I wouldn't send a card of condolence for something that is over a year old now and I don't think that is what you are meaning to do, but sometimes just being there is good enough. That shoulder to cry on or talk to.

Just be there for whomever needs you is my advice.

Hi C.-

My dad died several years ago. My mom was devastated...so was I. He died in April, but his birthday was dec 21st...So the 'first' birthday, we all gathered at my mom's and I cooked my dad's favorite meal (ham, mac N cheese, baked beans...and a chocolate/chocolate cake). It has now become our tradition to 'celebrate' dad's Bday (and his life) and share HAPPY memories.

Three of my children have April birthdays...so 'their' celebrations have helped my mom 'thru' the day of his death...

I am so sorry for your loss...

I send healing thoughts and prayers to you and your family...

Best Luck-
Michele/cat

If this is what helps you grieve, go for it. I would get something simple, like 'mom, 19(whatever)- 2011'.

My uncle, my godfather, passed away on my birthday 4 years ago this past Sunday. I always do something to remember him, and until this year, spend the day with my aunt... THIS year, we're mixing it up, we're going out to brunch for his birthday (Jan 31) and we're going to order all his favorites :)

It's not celebrating the death day as much as remembering all the happy times! You're celebrating their memory, and it's the best way to keep someone 'alive' in your heart :)

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom; I wish you peace :)

We remember it...but we don't celebrate it. Too sad.

My SIL and her sister do the Susan G Komen race for the cure. They do the longer one... like the 4 day one or whatever. You could get your sis and dad together and the three of you could be a team.

Everyone who participates says is cathartic.

The other thing you could do is plant some trees or flowers in a certain spot in someones yard. Maybe your moms favorite or even your sister's favorite. That way you could always think of her while you are tending the plants.

Why not make a donation in her name, to help cure cancer or one of the others. I would do something to remember the life she lived not the day she passed. I have lost many people close to me from cancer, heart disease etc. (including my older brother at the age of 42). My family does not celebrate anniversaries of death. We remember the life they lived and are always thankful for being a part of it.

I'm so sorry for your loss first of all. I lost my mom unexpectadly to a brain aneursym in 2008. It is still difficult to cope with at times. One year for my dad's and mom's wedding anniversary after her death, I created a collage of pics of my mom and dad together in their early dating days up to their wedding day with clevar sentimental sayings throughout it and had it framed for my dad. I also framed a picture of our mom for my sisters and found a fitting poem to go along with it and gave it to my sisters for mother's day. On another mother's day, I framed some drawings that she had done and gave them to my sisters. All of this meant a lot to each of them and to me. If I were you do something that is sentimental for each if you think that it will help. As you can tell from my examples none of them are worth a lot of money but they are rich with sentimental value. Anything you do I'm sure will be appreciated.

I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sure it's been a tough year and I'm glad to see that you have family around to help each other through this time.

I like the idea about gathering together around a good meal. Share your memories and celebrate her life!

Hi C.,
I am sorry for your loss. I really do.
I lost my mom one year ago also. My sisters (dad passed away 7 years ago) and I just talk and pray for her. WE just try to keep in constant communication (they live overseas)and remember our mom with a mass.

My dad passed away 10 years ago but I know I like to still talk about him and the great memories we had. I would think making time for all of you to be together and do something that is in honor of your mother. Or maybe get together and each of you gets to say one memory that you really remember about her that makes you happy. I don't know if a present is actually necessary but spending time together reflecting and having someone to listen.

We planted a favorite tree for her on the one year anniversary of my Mom's death. I like your ideas for your Dad, a framed picture or just a simple card with heartfelt words. I think whatever you do would be fine. The idea is that she's remembered....

My mom passed away suddenly a year and a half ago. On her birthday last year, my young son and I wrote a note to her, put the note inside a balloon, and took it outside and released it. It feels better to me (so far) to not put much focus on the anniversary of her death (sadness) but rather focus still on the anniversary of the day she came into the world.

I am sorry about the loss of your mom.

my niece has a tattoo on her foot that says: Daddy's girl. Around it, it says you may be gone, but your never forgotten, you live always in my heart. Then it has his dates.

Last year for Christmas I got my dad a small plaque that was ingraved with grandma and pops dates ( we lost them 3 months apart).

http://www.walmart.com/ip/Personalized-Cross-Memorial-Sto...

So sorry for your loss. Trust me no matter what you do or get them, they will love it!

We do something for the grave, flowers, add a plaque, a stepping stone, a picture, whatever. Then, when the next person comes, it makes them feel good to see it.

I have one brother that still struggles and he loves loves loves for me to frame a picture of her or find some old trinket of hers and give it to him. I have another brother that doesn't want to be reminded of it. I just text him and say I love you on thise days.

We all have sort of an unspoken agreement to text each other on her birthday and mothers day.

Buy her an inspirational book, encourage her, and just listen to her reminiscence. There will be spur of the moment outbursts and you just take it in strides. I lost my father 1 yr ago as well and it happens like that. You just be there for that person who is having their "moment". You don't have to buy a gift.

Hey C.!
I'm not far from you. I live in Rio Dell.
I'm sorry to hear about your mom's passing. The first year is really hard.
I lost both my father and step dad within a year of each other.
It was pretty tough.
For my father, a year after he passed, we had a family reuinion and memorial service for him. It was really wonderful to have us all together in rememberance of him.
My step dad passed away on my sister's birthday, which was really hard for her, so we celebrate her and the fact that life goes on and we remember him. We tell funny stories or kind things he did or laugh about his quirks that made him special to us.
I don't know about the car thing. If you think your sister would really like it, and you would like one, go for it.
For your dad, maybe a framed photo of your mom when she was lively and happy.
That's how I like to remember those I lose. When they were happy and full of life and so much a part of us. They still are...just not here on this earth.
They live on in our memories and I know my loved ones want us to think of them that way.
The first year is definitely the hardest. But with time, things do heal a bit. My father's been gone for a few years now, but on Sundays, when my phone rings, there's a part of me that thinks it must be him calling. Then I realize that he can't call me on Sundays anymore. In a way, it still hasn't all sunk in.

My best advice is to remember your mom in a way that would make her happy and will make you happy.
Rememberance is such a personal thing.

Best wishes to you!

Everybody mourns differently so it's great that you're tuned into that. I think that a card or a photo for your dad saying that you're thinking of him and your mom on this day and maybe mention a favorite memory of her. Dads are a little tough to read and it may or may not make them feel better to have any sort of remembrance ritual to commemorate that particular day.
My dad passed away 21 years ago and while I miss him terribly and think of him often, most of the time the actual anniversary of his death passes without notice or commemoration.

I'm sorry about your mom, C.. I lost my dad 3 years ago. I have to admit that I wouldn't put anything like that on my car. I don't want to actually be reminded that my dad died. I talk to my mom before the anniversary date because I don't even want to remember the day he died. Sometimes I look it up because I think I have blocked out the date from my head. I don't know if I am the only person who does this... sigh.

If you can visit your dad and sister on or around the anniversary date and take them to lunch, that would be nice for them. Having you be with her would be special to your sister, since she is having a hard time.

Dawn

First I would like to say I am sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to lose a Mom to Lung Cancer as my Mom passed away almost 5 years ago from Lung Cancer.

What I do to remember her on the anniversary of her death is to wear a piece of her jewelry. My Dad gave me all of her jewelry when she passed and most of the time I don't wear it because I am afraid it will trigger some emotions and I don't want to have a breakdown when I am at work or running errands. On her Birthday and the anniversary of her passing I will wear it, and sometimes I will wear some clothes of hers that I also have, like a sweater. I always get a compliment on the jewelry and my heart smiles every time.

As for my Dad - we don't talk about it much, but we do have breakfast every Saturday and I always make a point to wear the necklace on that day too - often he just looks at it and says something about it being a nice necklace. We don't really talk about it cause that is how we are, but we both know we are thinking and missing her.

Maybe you, your sister and Dad can get together and do something that your Mom would have liked? I have thought of planting a tree in her honor, even though I haven't actually done it yet.

Whatever you do will be right, as long as it is from the heart :-)