Why Don’t They Get Married?

I just love it when people say "oh we don't care about being legally married, the paperwork, all that matters is love, etc."
Well you would care if you owned a home, a business, had any savings, retirement or investments, or if you have children or get seriously ill.
Marriage comes with important legal protections and benefits. People who don't get that will have a harsh awakening when a partner gets sick, dies or simply decides to leave.
This is why gay people have fought so hard for marriage equality, not just to be accepted for who they are (though that's certainly part of it) but because they want the same rights as straight couples when in comes to important issues like health care coverage, medical decisions, custody/support, inheritance, taxes, all kinds of reasons.

Another question could be: Why don’t people just live together instead of getting married? The question itself implies that one or the other is best. Really, it is a personal choice and not something that they have to answer to you or anyone else.

Answer me this - why does it matter to you?
HOW does their NOT being married affect you?
WHY do you care?

There are many reasons as to why people don't get married. Bottom line, it's NOT YOUR BUSINESS. It doesn't affect you personally. It's THEIR lives. let them live it how they wish. They are not doing anything ILLEGAL - right??

Interesting second question from a new person....

the reasons are as many and varied as the people themselves.
because they don't believe that a legal contract has any bearing on their commitment to each other.
because they're making a political statement.
because they've been burned before and are wary.
because they're lazy.
because they're cautious.
because they're saving money for a blowout bash wedding.
because they're relying on commonlaw marriage guidelines.
because there's a legal, financial or insurance concern that is better met through not being legally married.
because their own reasons and no one else's business.
and yeah, sometimes because they qualify for bennies that they only qualify for if they're single.
the polygamous mormons take huge advantage of that.
khairete
S.

I'm sure there are many personal reasons.
Some feel a piece of paper doesn't add anything to the relationship.
They like the feeling of rebellion against perceived societal norms.
There's no shame attached to illegitimacy anymore - and really the kids didn't make these decisions - children often suffer for the choices their parents make whether their parents are married to each other or not.
Some derive a sense of security in thinking they can walk away at any time (think of it like an emergency escape hatch) - and they can even if they don't.
Some don't want to make the same mistake that their parents made - and let's face it some people that are married to each other never should have.

I don't know. I don't ask people why they aren't married or why they are married.

I know people who are married and suck at it. I know people who aren't married but have a great relationship for decades.

It's a personal preference.

I didn't feel the need for any paperwork for 7 years. The paperwork means nothing to me. I grew up with bitterly divorced parents who still to this day hate each other, and I guess it made me scoff at the whole official business of marriage. Anyway, my husband and I met in 1992, lived together for 7 years in our 20s and then we decided to be practical and get the official paperwork done to be legally married. We have officially been together for 26 years and married for 19. The marriage paperwork still means nothing to me. What means something to me is our personal commitment to each other which is much stronger than some signed papers.

I have a cousin who has been with her partner since the mid-1980s. They have had and raised three kids together, and they are not married legally. From what I understand, her partner doesn't believe in marriage (why the state should be involved in ratifying their relationship) and also maybe he was reacting to a strict religious upbringing. No, they didn't get any gov't benefits through staying legally single; both have always worked full-time in social service professions. They are totally committed to each other and he fills all the roles of a good son-in-law to her parents. He also doesn't seem to object to marriage for other people--he and my cousin came to my wedding and helped make it a very fun celebration. It's just not for him (and maybe my cousin; I've never asked her). Your question isn't an unreasonable one, though as Brooke A says, we could just as well ask 'why DO people get married?' However you phrase it, the question does make us think a bit about what marriage means both for individuals and for a society.
ETA: I do agree with Mamazita that there are legal benefits to getting married. As I recall, my cousin lives in a city with a domestic partnership structure, so that's what they did to take care of the medical decision-making authority, inheritance, etc.

There are many reasons why people don't get married. It's a personal choice. For me? I felt like I had to make it legal. Stuff happens in life and I wanted to ensure that myself and our future children would be covered. I wanted to be sure that if the stuff hit the fan, even with a will, one of us would be able to carry out the decisions we made. that's ME and my husband.

Others don't see it that way.

Some people just don't feel the need for the paperwork.

YOu get more financial aid if you arent married.. To us it was just a piece of paper and we didnt really care but my family did