When Done Having Children - You or Your Husband's Responsibility?

I got my tubes tied after baby #4 and REGRET it!!!I dont want anymome but you dont have that option anymore. I wish I would have got the iud put in..i think you always want what you cant have, at least that is how this ended up for me.take a while and think it over..

J.,
Obviously, it's up to you as a couple. But I'm sure you know that.

For me, I wanted it to be in my control. That's the only reason. When I talked about a tubal with my doctors when I was first pregnant with our second son, BOTH of them (men) said it's easier for my husband to get something done. They even offered to talk to him about it if it was an issue. It wasn't an issue at all. My husband said he would get it done.

As it turned out, I was scheduled to get my tubes tied after delivery, but I couldn't due to some minor complications. I called after to make the appointment and I cried when I made the call. I wasn't ready to make it permanent. SO, I've opted for an IUD. It gives me the freedom of no pill but the option to change my mind. Again, control of my own body.

That's my story and it has worked out well for us.

Good luck and congrats on #2. :)

T.

I completely agree with you for various reasons.

The male procedure is less invasive, less expensive, lower risk of complications/infections, and can be done as an outpatient procedure.

I have always said I wanted either two or three children. We have two now and intend to try for a third soon. My husband said he would have the procedure done, but I told him that if I require another c-section that I would just have it done then. I am glad that he offered to have it done, but I have also read about the increased risk of cancer and Alzheimers. That worries me a bit. The other thing was mentioned by a previous poster-the possibility that it doesn't work the first time and we end up pregnant again. All things considered, I still feel like it would be best for me to get my tubes tied. It is a very personal decision though and what works for one family may not for another.

I have heard that is is a much easier procedure for the man to get 'fixed' than the woman. The recovery is supposedly way easier and shorter. If my husband doesn't want any more kids, he will be the one going in.

This was a discussion my husband and I had before we had our first child (now we have 3) that he would have the "Big V" when we were done having children. He put it off until he could get a Friday off linked to a Monday holiday and by Tuesday was fine (my words not his!) The Dr. put a few restrictions on him (lifting, rough housing, off-road activities, etc) but other than that I think it was way easier. I think all men are a little stand offish about "the boys" but get over it in the end.
Good luck with your decision!

I had my tubes tied and I do not consider it invasive surgery or major. It was done as out patient and I did have a little discomfort for a few days but nothing much. It did give me an excuse to buy some new clothes. I wore lose fitting dresses for a few days. I was already going in for some other reasons so it just made sense. I also did not want to raise the risk of cancer for my husband.

My husband and I always planned for him to have a vasectomy after our son was born. He went in right before our son's first birthday and had the procedure. The downtime is just a few days, and after a 3 day weekend, was back to work. He was still sore for about another week after that, and you better believe he milked it for all it was worth :)
I had a c-section with our son, and had it not been an emergency surgery, I would've just asked the doctor to tie my tubes while he was in there, but that didn't happen. I think it's up to each family, but personally, there was no way I was going to go in for another highly invasive surgery when my husband could easily go through a minor procedure. This was 3 years ago, and so far, so good.

Hi J.,

In our family, I have chosen to stay on the pill. I have endo, so the pill offers me a lot of relief from my condition. We have also decided against a vasectomy for my husband because it can increase the risk for prostate cancer - which runs in his family.

Best of luck with your decision!!!

M.

For us, my husband got a vasectomy. It is less invasive of a procedure and quick with minimal recovery. I know of a few friends that got their tubes tied. They knew they were done and decided that if they had a c-section they would also get their tubes tied. The doc is already in there, so it makes sense, but to go through it at a seperate time would be hard I think. Just because it is major surgery compared to a vasectomy. Sometimes the husband is too chicken to get it and then the wife has to step up, I guess.

Hi J.- After my 4th my husband and I decided there would be no more children. I was willing to get my tubes tied but having wonderful pregnancies and 4 natural births the procedure would put me "out of commission" similiar to that of a C section. Neither of us wanted that- we decided he would go the v route together. it was not fun but only a few days recovery vs. weeks for me. Good Luck with whatever route you go!
Beth

Vasectomies have been linked to a higher risk of prostate cancer and alzheimer's disease whereas the female procedure has no long term effects. I choose to tie my tubes instead of putting my husband at risk for one of these terrible fates. I did have a c-section though so I was already under the knife.
You really must weigh all of your options and decide what you can live with.
Good Luck!
J.

I'm always very hesitant to do anything that's truly permanent. I told my husband that after this child (due any day now) was born, I would get a copper IUD and as long as I didn't have any unpleasant side effects that would take care of BC for a good 10 years at a pop. That way if we ever decide to have a third child it's as easy as yanking it out.

If I do not like the side effects then we will consider having him get a vasectomy b/c it's a much less invasive procedure and is more reversible than anything that could be done for/to me.

My husband recently had a vasectomy since we were done with having kids. he went in on a friday and was back to work on mon no problems. For us the decision was due to many factors. I have problems with pills and IUD's may be just as bad for me, and as youput it he wanted to take one for the team since I had gone through the pregnacies and deliveries. It is hard to advise anyone on this as it is a personal decisoin between you and him, but I hope sharing our experience helps you eigh all the factors in this decision.

For us it was an easy choice because my husband is a mechanic and he is bending a lot at work and he was told by several of the men he works with it is very painful coming back to work. Since it didn't bother me to have my tubes tied, I volunteered. The doctor who performed my surgery (not my OB, but a partner of his) asked me why I was doing it instead of my husband, I told her he was a weenie and that made everyone laugh. It really wasn't bad except for the first couple of days I couldn't sleep in a bed, had to sleep in the chair. If your husband is willing to help you out more the first few days, then that is a plus as well. My husband knew this and didn't complain. Hope this helps your decision.

I have heard that is is a much easier procedure for the man to get 'fixed' than the woman. The recovery is supposedly way easier and shorter. If my husband doesn't want any more kids, he will be the one going in.
I agree with Amanda there!
I couldn't ask my hubby to do the big "V" unless he really wanted to, I won't get my tubes tied either, i already went through a C-section with my 1st kid, & I don't want to ever do it again ( If possible) The recovery sucks big time!! I guess I'll resort to taking the pill or getting an IUD (which lasts about 5yrs- they say..)

I think it depends on lots of factors, such as downtime, available vacation hours at work, ability to take off work, etc.. Many people do not know of the Essure procedure. It can be done in the office and is a sterilization procedure for women. I had this procedure done and experienced minor cramping for 2 days. That's it. This can be a great choice for women who do not want to have "surgery". It involves no incisions. I see it like this, it's my body, and if I don't want to have anymore children, then I need to be responsible and have the procedure done.

Funny you should ask ........ my husband went yesterday for his consultation for his vasectomy. We decided since I have had 2 c-sections already I did not want another procedure......but it depends on you as a couple. As far as the IUD goes, I am not a big fan...I would rather just not have to worry about it. With the vasectomies you do need an all clear from the doctor before you can "go all out" with your husband...or there might be an oops baby.