What to Give in Lieu of Flowers?

Really, for a wake, your just being there to provide emotional support to your loved one is usually enough. Depending on the faith of the deceased and/or their family you could bring a mass card. Another thought would be to bring casserole or something for your brother in law so he and/or his wife/family don't have to worry about food in these difficult days. If you do that, pack it in a cooler bag with ice packs. Include a card with instructions for heating and tell them to keep the bag and dish so they don't have to worry about returning it.

You could also make a donation in the name of the deceased to her favorite charity or organization or if she died from an illness such as cancer, donate to a cancer charity.

These are all just things that come to mind but you just being there to lend support really will be enough. I don't know if your brother in law has kids but maybe offer to babysit them should the family need to run errands or just need to not worry about kids. Whatever you do will be appreciated by the grieving family.

2 moms found this helpful

Ditto on the first reply.

Well , you can always give a monetary gift. My Mom likes to give special friends a small angel statue for the garden . You can buy them a tree to plant in her honor. And don't forget to bring food for them to eat because they are busy with everything and probably are forgetting to eat.Good luck I hope this helps:)

You could do a honorary mass/mass card at her local church. Or if she died of a specific cause, donate to that cause in her honor? Or if she was passionate about another cause, donate to that? Sorry to hear of your loss.

DITTO....Kristy covered it very well. Last year Grandma died (my mother-in-law) and, just knowing that MY family was there for my husband (his in-laws) meant the world to him. He was so touched by the gesture. My sister has 5 grown kids and they all paid their respects. If you have a few old pictures that you think he would like to have of her, maybe an event at your home, where pictures were taken of her, that would be nice - or just one nice picture, 5 x 7, with a frame. Good luck!

When my dad passed we were happy to recieve flowers, but happier to receive meals. We were too greif stricken to cook, and it was wonderful to just throw someone else's dish into the oven and eat well through our sorrows. I think this is the most heartfelt, and thoughtful thing you can do for them.

Charitable donations are also nice, as are offers to help clear out the estate, plan a garage sale, or other practical concerns. Some people also still find it appropriate to give cash in a card. I'm sure whatever you do, it will show you care and they will be grateful for it.