Hi Moms! I'm in need of some insite from experienced moms. I'm a working mommy of a 19 month old boy and I'm expecting our second baby boy in just a few weeks. Well, my son has ALWAYS been an "angel" baby. His temperment has ALWAYS been super easy going - and he's a happy, funny guy. Well, lately it seems that he's extra fussy and irritable - which I'm SO not used to! I only have a few hours a day with him (mon-fri) since I work and it seems that during this time he is whiny and fussy and throwing tantrums. I'm not used to this AT ALL! And I hate spending the few hours a week I have with him trying to discipline him from these tantrums - not to mention that I have VERY little energy being that I'm near my due date.
Do you think his extreme change in attitude could be from his feelings of knowing I'm pregnant and somthing is going to change soon??? Or could this be the start of "terrible two's"? Is it too early for that? What do you moms recommend? I don't know what to do! My hubby says we should be firm with him or ignore him when he acts this way, but I want to be able to "enjoy" the last couple of weeks with him as my only baby. Any thoughts?
I would not "be firm and ignore him" - I think that might make the behavior worse. I think you could be right about his knowing you are pregnant, etc., and he probably senses your anxiety and lack of energy. My opinion is be MORE loving and attentive right now, even though you're worn out. If you do not, be prepared for the behavior to worsen once the new baby arrives.
He could be getting some molars in. Check his back gums. Both my girls were just miserable and super cranky for almost a month when they got theirs.
Good Luck,
K.
My son was older, about 28 months at the time, but about a month before his little sister was born, his behavior took a major turn for the worse. At the time I was working full-time too and hated spending my evenings at home with an irritable child. I know he sensed things were about to change, and he felt out of control. We started giving him a lot more choices and that seemed to help a little. Kids are very intuitive and pick up on all kinds of things. We tried to keep our evenings very calm and when possible, spend as much time as a threesome doing the things he enjoyed the most--jumping on the trampoline (mommy just sat up there, no jumping for me) and taking walks in the evenings after dinner, playing soccer etc. The other thing my son started doing at this time was demanding mommy do everything from baths to storytime to playing with toys, I had to be present. We knew he was feeling insecure and this was part of the need to feel in control, so for the most part we just humored him. It did seem to help him feel better. Just try to be as understanding as possible and reassure him. Be prepared for the first few months after the baby comes home to be very difficult for your son (and you), but after aabout 3 months it becomes much easier. Don't be afraid to ask for help and in the evenings when daddy gets home, hand off that baby and spend some quality one on one time with your son. We used my daughter's morning nap everyday to play games (it was torture playing candyland everyday, but he really enjoyed it) and it was quality one on one time without interruption. Also, don't be afraid to ask for help from friends/family.
My girls both started the "Terrible Twos" early. In fact right around 18 months, now that I think about it. It sounds like your little guy may be as well. It's really not so terrible if you can just realize they are only beginning to individuate and realize they can have their own opinion. They can say "NO!" and it's powerful! He may also be picking up on the impending arrival of a newcomer and some of the nervousness that goes along with that. Little ones are SO sensitive to emotional atmosphere change.
I think you husband is spot on. Be firm and ignore is a good tactic for when he misbehaves. I would also add make sure to give him extra doses of love and acknowledgment when he is behaving the way you want him to. Positive reinforcement is just as powerful as negative (some say even more so.) You may also want to prepare yourself for how you're going to continue to meet his needs once your new baby is born. I know there are some great books for parents and for kids to help with the adjustment period of a new baby in the house. He's not too young to understand.
Blessings for your family and for your upcoming birth.
His behavior is a symptom of unmet need. He needs more of your attention and more of your energy. With work and pregnancy, you're probably giving less to him now than you ever have, and he's reacting to that.
Try sitting on the floor with him for a good long time, and giving him your entire focus. Let him direct the play. It might take a time or two, but it will work.
I know when my son was that age, he was willing to express whatever emotions I had but wasn't expressing. He was my little truth-teller.
I don't know if that's relevant to you and your son, but it might be worth some quiet time to check in with yourself.
