What If One Child Is Enough for Me?

I was totally fine with my only child for years and put everything I could into her. It was affordable, I had time for her, lots of love you name it.

I did though go on to have another child. My daughter's are 7 years apart and because of that we've only had to put 1 child in daycare at a time, by the time I had my first daughter out of the baby,toddler,preschool age where all the hard work is she is a breeze I had my second child and was able to appreciate and relive all the fun baby times again. I thought they're age difference would be a huge problem but it's not my daughter loves her baby sister and dotes on her. It's not bad financially like I said I only have 1 in diapers adn if I go back to work mostly just 1 in daycare.

So maybe having 1 child is all you need but you could also think about spacing the kids out too, they don't have to grow up super close and back to back.

My only advide is to not make any "permanent" decisions yet. I would just wait awhile. You obviously are not ready yet and there isn't anything wrong with that. Most boys, (not all), are "handfuls". My son was "spirited" from about 18 months to 4. Once he started pre-school, things improved dramatically, and now he is in kindergarten, and I think he is a wonderful little boy! I would have 10 more like him...(ok, that's an exaggeration, but you get my point!) I wouldn't worry about age gaps, being "financially ready" or any of that. It all just depends on you and your family and what is right for you. Good luck, and just enjoy what you have now!

FYI-I also have a 3 yr old girl. I just recently felt "ready" to have another one, and we will in June!

I have two children. Neither have fear of anything and have minds of their own. I always knew I wanted at least 2. I am the oldest of 3. I did however marry an only child and one of my closest friends is an only child. So from my experiences with these 2 individuals and from their mouths they and their spouses, please have at least one more if you can!!!!!! In general only's struggle with being selfish and self-centeredness. I am sure that there are only children out there that were raised well and share and willingly and happily give, but I have yet to find one that does it as easily as one that has grown up sharing, giving and learning how to have a real relationship. My friend is 30 and just with in the last few years figured out who she was and where she fit in the world and saw how selfish she was. She has changed and grown a lot as a person I am proud of her. I wish I could say that about my husband. He was researching the Christmas present he wanted a couple days before my birthday (it was the 8th and he had no clue as to what to get for me on the one day I should have about me), and spends more time thinking about what he wants than anything else. It strains our marriage. I know that not all are this way. But think about it. It is important to know who you are and how to treat others and be sincere. It helps to learn that young.

After years of going through fertility issues, we are blessed with one son. He is our life! That is all we will be having. I don't get the big issue on people thinking that one child is such a bad thing. So what if he's an only child. He will be happy & spoiled. It doesn't make your family any less of a family & will not make your only child less of a child. It's what makes you & your family happy. There are people struggling to have just one & you should feel blessed that your family, big or small is healthy & happy.

Good luck & do what you & your husband think are right for you & your family, not what society thinks.

let your families think your nuts then...

if you and your husband are happy and content with the one son, then just have the one...

don't let your families thinking your nuts, stear your thoughts, luckly they don't make your decisions.

As a mom to a big family, I think that the amount of children that a family has, does not define who they are or what kind of parent they are. I have met great parents to "onlys" and not so great parents to bigger families. There are so many advantages AND disadvantages to both having one child and having more children, that this is one thing that really should remain a personal choice. I am very happy to hear that you and your husband are in agreement on this issue, as that can cause the most stress: disagreement on family size. My opinion? Ignore the friends and family and do what is right for you and your husband - remember, it is easy for someone to suggest to someone to have another child, but you and I both know that they aren't going to walk a mile in our shoes (in the middle of the night during croup, teething, colds, etc).

Best of luck no matter what you decide to do :)

Let me tell you, I can totally related. I too have a very spirited son who is now 4 1/2. After him I just knew that I only wanted one. He is a handful and I doubted my being able to really handle two kids. My husband felt the same way. My family hounded me to no end about giving him a sibling and I just would tell them no, that I had no desire to have a baby and so we were not going to. It got really irritating.

Well, we have changed our minds. My son will be 5 in February and we are going to start TTC next month. For both him and us. He never really brought up wanting siblings until the last couple of months and we really did not want another until now.

So I guess my advice to you is this, do what YOU want to do with your family. If you decide that one child makes your family complete, then enjoy that and don't let anyone else tell you differently. If down the road you decide to have another, than you do. But do it because you want to and not because people are making you feel guilty.

There are a million things I could say about this subject because it just makes me livid when people tell others what their family should be like.

feel free to PM me if you want, we can chat more about it.

K.

I am one of 4, my husband is one of 3 and we have 2 children so I don't have much advice on only having one child. But I think that you are lucky that you and your husband feel the same way about only having one child... this can be a source of tension for many couples. I understand the "guilt" thing when it comes to your relatives, but in the end it is your life, your family, your body, your money, etc... You have every right to make the decision that is best for you and your family. Your parents and siblings might put pressure on you, but they aren't the ones who will be paying for additional child care, getting up in the middle of the night for feedings, and living the life that comes with having 2 or more children. I assume with all of your siblings there are cousins for your son; I am actually closer with a few of my cousins than I am with my own siblings. I think you should stick with whatever decision is best for you and your husband and son.

I think that as long as you and your husband feel the same,than enjoy your family and be happy. Your son is still very young. It is possible that you and your husband will change your mind as he gets older. If not...you have a lot of love and support to give to one child...I can't see anything wrong with that.