Weddings That No Kids Are Allowed Except Family Kids

My son is getting married. He and his fiance have asked that no children except for family be invited. It is not that they are trying to offend anyone its that they are not able to "treat" these families for 4, 5 and 6 to a meal costing $50 per person. the childrens meals are $30 each and amount to a happy meal type meal. nuggets and fries and salad. They would like to invite the adults. They would like to have the meal they have chosen at the venue they have chosen and are paying for. It is totally within their rights as the people paying for this event to say adults only. The wedding is not until april 2013. We have all already starting making it known that it is an adults only wedding. no one under the age of 21 with the exception of family will be invited.

I allowed NO KIDS and provided babysitting on site.
I wanted to hear my vows and not a crying baby.

It's very common and not unusual at all for kids not to be invited. Most weddings that I've gone to where there are kids, they most always are immediate family kids or in the wedding. Many people don't invite kids because weddings are expensive and kids can be disruptive. The bride, in my opinion is making a good choice. I would just find a babysitter and go out and enjoy the wedding with your husband, especially since he's known him for 16 years.

Kids are disruptive, and some folks don't want them at the wedding, but make allowances for family kids. I'm guessing this is how the bride is. It's not your kids personally, but if they make an exception for them, then someone else will get their feelings hurt. I've been to only 1 kid free wedding, because we're Catholic and our families have tons of kids. :-)

It is very common. and It is expensive to have children at the wedding reception. Also What you are used to as well behaved may not be what the bride is used to.

She may have been forced to allow family children but many wedding are just not considered a good match for kids.. The ceremony can run long and be boring.. The reception late with not kid friendly food.

I do special events and yes, the plates served to children also costs money.. You also cannot imagine how many times the little kids are all over the dance floor and the adults are all having to avoid them..

It is her event, her choice..

Looking back, I wish we had said no small children at our wedding. There is a baby on our video crying during a quiet time during the ceremony. We have to listen to it every time we watch our ceremony and to be honest, it is annoying. Don't get me wrong, I love children. When my daughter was a baby/toddler and I was invited to a wedding, I would go and leave her at home with daddy. I did not want her to be crying at the wedding and ruining the people's wedding dvd.

We only had family kids at our wedding. Nothing against other peoples' kids, but it costs money to have them there, and no matter how well behaved a child can be, there is always the chance that that day they have a melt down, decide to be defiant, etc. I have never been to a wedding where all kids were welcome...interesting...

We did an "adult" reception. For the fact that we were paying for it oursleves, (not that our parents should foot the extra bill either lol) But anyways, as other posters have said at catered events there is no difference in adult and children plates. We got off "cheap" at $28 a plate. BUT we furnished all of our own alcohol. Most place required that you pay an alcohol charge for total number of guests TOTAL you couldn't say "20 of these guests are children"
So don't take offense. Weddings are so expensive! Our "catch" was that any guest who was coming out of town was welcome to bring their kids.

The only kids I would want at my wedding are the flower girl and ring bearier and any weddings I've gone to that has been the norm.

Weddings are typically so expensive and it is still pricey even with a child discount. I think a lot of people leave out children due to the added cost. My experience has been that people do not seem to give more because they are bringing their children and I think that is just wrong.

Many receptions are formal events and are held at night, making them inappropriate events for a child. I had a no child wedding. I think they are a lot more popular than you think. Often a bride and groom need to carefully plan the guest list and need to scale back due to financial reasons or the size of the venue. In addition, they want their guest to have a good time and enjoy themselves not spending the evening watching their kids.

Apparently this is becoming more common, but I wouldn't have even thought of not including children in my wedding. Weddings are family events, IMO. Children have been included in the all the weddings I've ever attended. If the meals are too expensive, then change the menu, or offer a kids menu. I'm with Adansmama here, weddings aren't for show, they are for families.

to us weddings are about friends and family. i would be insulted if i got a wedding invitation and was told later (or told via the invitation) that my kids weren't welcome. but if it was a couple that i knew from my pre-kid days, or that don't know my kid/s, then i would probably leave them at home anyway. in general though, i feel that weddings should be about joy and love and family, and i don't have that without my kids. so i guess i'm in the minority by saying that i would both include my friends/family's children, and expect to bring my own. but weddings to me are not about how much per head or impressing people or putting on a show, either...

I've been married twice and twice I asked for no kids. My first marriage I got married at 30, all my friends got married at 20 and had kids by then. We had a "nice" reception and the cost per child for the meal was over $20. I simply could not afford it. I believe there would have been about 30 kids there all under the age of 12. I didnt think on my wedding day I wanted to have 30 kids running around. Only one of our family members on my husbands side was "offended" and did not attend the wedding. Funny, he was the one with 5 kids!

I have actually found this to be about 50/50 among my friends. So it's definitely not uncommon. At least they told you! I had a couple of friends who got married, never said "no kids" and then were mad AFTER the wedding that people brought their kids lol. I always ask cause some people want it to be a more formal, adult type affair and don't want the little kids running around the whole time.

In my family, little kids are never invited to weddings. We do not come from money, so "lavish" is not a word used in anything we do. It's just not the way we do things. Weddings are for adults, unless of course there is a flower girl, ring bearer, etc., but again, as we don't do gigantic festivities, I've yet to be invited to a family wedding where these are included. Now, I have been to weddings of friends, co-workers, etc. where there are kids both in the wedding as well as at the reception, but it's just not my preference. It really has nothing to do with how close you are to the bride & groom (obviously I'm close with my entire family), but rather just a personal preference of whether you want to be chasing your kids around all night, or have a pleasant evening with your family & a few coctails before dinner.

If the groom said you can bring the kids, I would think he has equal say. I have heard of no kids except for those that may be in the wedding party but not some guests and not others.

How was the invitation addressed? Can you get a family member to watch your kids?

If your babysitter bails, you can not attend.

We did the same thing at our wedding. Only family kids. Several reasons:
1) It was an evening wedding, and in my opinion it is not appropriate to have young kiddos out till 11PM
2) The amount of money we would have to pay per child for dinner was obscene
3) I've been to more than a few weddings where wild kids are being absolutely ridiculous on the dance floor. Sliding all over the place, running around like crazy...didn't want to have to deal with that.

At my brothers wedding they had no kids except immediate family kids. So that was his 3 (obviously) my 1 and my sisters 1. It was a money thing first and foremost and then once you invite 1 child everyone would want to bring there kids too. It would just totally snowball!! (we have a lot of kids among our friends & family) Most people were totally fine about it - "Yeeha a day out without the kids". :-) but some were quite annoyed, we had this cousin who asked nearly every family member more than once "is it right that no kids are invited" She knew that they weren't but it was as if she was trying to wear them down. At the end of the day it is there wedding and its up to them. Yes its a shame for people who don't have a large network of babysitters to help them out but thats life. :-)

How old are your kids? No children under five were allowed at our wedding. I did not want to hear a baby or see a tiddker making a break for it during our ceremony. It's been my experience that it's a fairly common practice for those same reasons -especially if you're having a lavish or sophisticated evening wedding.

When my brother and his wife got married 3 years ago it was the same way. He doesn't have kids, she has three and a granddaughter. My nephew was in the wedding (he was 7) as well as her granddaughter (she was about 3) and those were the only children she wanted to attend, it was actually stated somewhere that only those older than 16 were invited.

She told her daughter that she wanted her to take her granddaughter home after the wedding ceremony, meaning her daughter, her matron of honor, would miss part of the reception if she came back. Her daughter said she wasn't getting a sitter so 1) either the granddaughter was welcome for the ceremony and reception, or 2) if she wasn't welcome then she and her daughter wouldn't be in or attending the festivities at all. Mom relented. Then she told my sister that my nephew was to leave after the ceremony and not attend the reception, and my sister told her basically the same thing so she relented again and he attended both.

It really struck me as odd that she would not want children there, but it was her choice, my brother wasn't part of the planning. Personally I love to see the children having fun, especially with the bride and groom, but to each his own! And this was the only wedding I've ever known to exclude kids.

My kids were not allowed at any of their aunts weddings until they were actually in one of the weddings. That is my exes family, they like to have "royal" weddings. In my family the more the merrier. My ex's mom actually tried to force me to disallow kids. That was one of the few times I agreed with my mom, she pointed out she was paying for it! :p

I think it just goes down family lines but it could just be a snobby family thing.

I had 7 kids in my wedding and a bunch more in the audience so I definitely don't get it either but have heard that is has become a lot more common. One of my friends recently had to miss her BIL's wedding because they didn't tell her until the night before that her children (who are really well-behaved) weren't allowed. I kind of understand if it is a big reception with an expensive per person cost but why not allow the kids at least come to the wedding to see the pretty princess?