Time Out - Pooler,GA

I had a hard time keeping my son in time out at this age, what I found to be the most effective is putting him in his high chair and facing him to the wall for a few minutes they hate it and will scream and cry there little heads off and you might too but it works very well

S.,

For an 18 month old child, time out should only be for 30 seconds. He won't remember why he is on time out beyond that amount of time. And definitely make a chair or mat, like you are doing, the time out area. You may have to keep taking him back to the time out area for the first couple of times but he'll catch on. I have a son who will be 3 in December and it has gotten to the point that sometimes he puts himself in the timeout area because he knows he did something wrong.

Best regards,
L. R.

My advise is a combination of Lisa B and Denise R. It will take a while before you son learns that he has to sit in time out, you just have to keep putting him back in and letting him know that time-out means he has to stay in his seat and think about what he did. You child will get it in a while. And always let him know in words why he is in time-out before you send him to time-out and again after he comes out.

Children at this age just want to please. They also test their boundaries but once they realize what they are, they just want to be some personal attention each day to know they are loved.

Dear S. -

He's definitely ready for time-outs. We send our sons to their rooms -- I know they don't recommend this, but our sons would rather be in a corner or in a chair as long as they're in the same room with us than being in their rooms by themselves. My 19 month old smiles and thinks it's a game and stands at the threshhold threatening to come out with a big smile on his face. What I have done is threaten to put him in his crib if he gets out and I have done that for 1 minute, always explaining why I'm doing what I'm doing. How hard this will be depends on how headstrong your son is, our first is incredibly headstrong, but fortunately the second one is a lot more easy going. Good luck!

R.

Try a "Time-In". This is where you take your child and sit them on your lap facing you. You hold them very close and tell them why they are in a time in, that Mommy and Daddy are in charge and they are to listen. Once you get an agreement you let them go.

I have had to hold my son's arms and legs, because he kicks and screams, but once he realizes I am not letting go he quiets and I tell him the above. It is the same routine everytime and it can be done both at home and out and about.

You could also swaddle him in a blanket if you are having trouble holding him.

Just some thoughts. Please email me if you would like to talk more about how this has worked for us.

N.

Hey S.,
I have a 15 month old, who I've just started "time-outs" with and actually it went better than I thought. The first three or four times she went to time-out, she continued to get up and I just kept putting her back... I didn't start the time over each time she got up, but I did keep putting her back for one whole minute. Now that we've been doing this for about a month, she will actually sit where I put her, but I do have to stand where she can see me (I just don't make eye contact). Just remember to warn him before he goes to time out, explain to him why he's there when you first put him in it and ask him to apologize when it's over (my daughter actually says "sorry," although she has no idea what it means! : ) I would say give it try and be consistent, you might be surprised, I sure was!
D.

It looks like you have gotten some good advise. I mean no disrespect for the mom who puts the child in his crib, but I would like to warn against doing this, as it could teach your child that the bed is a "bad" place, which could lead to bedtime problems.
I have a 2 yr old and we have been utilizing time outs for quite some time. She always stays where I put her, and like another responder, will go there if I tell her too. The point is that the child get no attention for a short alloted time. It is the lack of interaction that is key. An hour or so of replacing the child in the spot will be exhausting, but worth it from that point forward.
When explaining, keep it short and sweet.... ex. Hitting is not ok, or We don't pull toys from our friends, etc. Then, expect an apology. After that, hugs and moving forward with normal activity.
I hope this helps.

I am a 33 yr old mother of 2 (6yr old and 2yr old girls).

Hi S., I have a 2 year old boy. I've been giving him time out since he was about 18 mos. old. This is how we started, 1. We would identify for him the behavior that was unwanted.
2. We would tell him he has to take a time out
3. I would sit in a chair that was deemed the "time out chair" with him on my lap.
4. He would squirm and try to get up... I would hold him so that he could not escape, gently without hurting him, of course.
5. AFter about 30 to 60 seconds - I would explain to him why he was in time out - identifying the behavior a second time,
6. Then we would explain to him the behavior that we would like to see instead ( teaching him how to react to stimulus positively instead of negatively)
7. He would always have to say "sorry"

Now, at 18 mos... he didn't always understand so we would have to be consistant and repeat the time outs whenever necessary - sometimes just 10 minutes later! But now, at 2 years old - he does understand and it's getting easier. He can sit in time out by himself and he stays put. He also can identify the unwanted behavior himself when asked and tell you the preferred behavior. Something important to remember is always stay calm, yet assertive... don't ever discipline when your boiling mad - you don't want to hurt or scare your child. You are teaching right from wrong, ya know?

Hope this helps!
L.

I bought a kindergarten nap map and put it in our front room (no toys, TV, ect..)and turned the timer on the stove (one minute for every year). When my daughter needs a time out, I pull out the mat and lay it down. She knows to stay on the mat until the timer goes off. Then we talk about her behavior and she says she is sorry. We hug and kiss and go on with our day.

Sounds easy....well, not at the beginning. The key is consistancy. Everytime she gets off of the mat, put her back on and start the timmer over. It will take some time but stick with it. Your child will eventually get that you are not coming back until they do what you ask.

Now when my daughter is frusterated, she will tell me she needs a time out and get her mat out herself. She lays down until she feels better and then goes and plays. We started when she was one and now she is almost 2 1/2.

What I found to be the best for our son at that age, was to put him in his crib or in a room that I knew was safe and isolate him for just a minute or so. It worked rather quick and he knew, because we would say do you want to go to your room. It sounds awful, but it works and if you do not start setting those boundries now, you will have a time in just a couple more months.

You'd be suprised to find that your son might stay in time out. We started time-outs with my son when he was around that age, and we just stuck a chair in the corner for him. At first he wouldn't stay in it, but for the first few times, I stood right behind him and counted to 20 aloud so he would know when he was done. Now, my son is 2 and will stay in the corner and count to 20 when told. Good luck!

THIS IS THE ONE THAT WILL MAKE YOU OR BREAK YOU!!!!
You must be strong. when he does something come down to his eye level look him in the eye and in a strong mommy (not loud!!!) voice tell him he has done wrong and now he must go to time out, (that is the easy part, now comes the hard part) Sit him there yes he will cry and get up , sit him there again and again and again ( this could go for 30 min to an hour! BUT YOU MUST STICK TO IT !!!!!!! and he will get the meassage but rember ther is not need in yelling or hitting... just stick to your guns ( as hard and time consuming as it may be) aafter he has spent the 2 or 5 mins you said for him to spend and it is time to let him up tell him thank you for listening to mommy and doing what she asked and don't for get the hug hope this helps please let me know! Amamda

Hi S.,
i know what you mean about enforcing time-outs...we have had a hard time with our 2 yo son. i tried everything from confining him to the laundry room, to placing him on the bottom step of the stairs to having a naughty chair. Nothing seemed to work...until i placed him on the kitchen chair and turned the oven timer on. i set the timer for 1-2 minutes depending on the crime. Our son eventually settles down and just listens for the buzzer to go off. afterwords, we tell him what he did wrong and what behavior would have been right (i am not sure how much he understands...but, the punishment seems to deter him from trying the bad behavior again).
Just making his "world" stop and taking him away from the situation seems to do wonders...it also saves me from losing my voice over yelling at him :)

hope this helps!!!

Sit and hold them there!